Most of the BBQ joints in my area put slaw on the sandwiches. They are actually more in a Carolina style around here than Memphis style. I prefer the slaw, but again you and I may be alone in that regard on the X.
I've done my share of smack talking about BBQ and what it's supposed to be. In reality, it's smoked meat, (should be pork, but brisket is acceptable to be called BBQ) done low and slow. If you do that, it's BBQ. It's not defined by rubs or sauces, slaw or not, only regionally enhanced.
When my brother orders BBQ out, he gets sandwiches with no sauce, and extra pickles. If we're at Full Moon, he gets it with the Chow Chow. He adds hot sauce. He prefers Memphis style dry rub ribs. Me? I like our southern red sauces, and I only like the ones that are moderate to heavy on the spicy side, and light on sweetness. No slaw, no Chow Chow, just sauce and pickles.
I worked at a BBQ place in college, and my brother did too, but at a different place. One of the details I learned was that sauce should be placed on top of the pile of meat, not mushed in and all incorporated with the meat. It keeps the flavor profiles separate.
A few months back, I got a serious BBQ crave. I went to Golden Rule, one billed as "under new management". It had been ok before, but I was very disappointed this time. A few days later, unsatisfied, I went to Johnny Rays. I seem to recall they used to be good, but this was bad Q. All the way around, just plain bad. No smoke flavor, and sauce all in the meat. It had little taste. 3rd try was Full Moon a few days later, and it satisfied the crave with a 3 rib sammich. Snags, I get having high hopes for BBQ being dashed upon the rocks. Since it's not something you can eat every day, when you do splurge, you want it to be good.
I'm not going to give anybody any shit about their preference in Q.