Happy Birthday to...

[Snaggletiger]

A man on a business trip to Las Vegas heard about how good the Las Vegas prostitutes were so on his first night there, he decided he would go out and try his luck.

He walked outside his hotel and looked up and down the street and saw an attractive girl standing on the corner. He approached her and asked her if she is working tonight and sure enough she said "Meet me in room 804 across the street." He was in luck. She was a knockout.
 They got to the room and he sat down anxiously on the edge of the bed. She asked him what he wanted and he thought for a second, then said "How much for a hand job?" She said, "300". His eyes popped open and he asked "300?" She said, "Walk over to that window and open the curtains". He proceeded. "See that motel down there? I own it, and I didn't inherit it. I'm that good." He was like, "well go right ahead honey". So she proceeded to give him the best hand job he ever had.

After a little rest he thought, if that was that good...."How much for a blow job?" She said "600". OH MY GOD!! was his reply. She told him to walk back over to the window. "See that 15 story hotel? I own it and I didnt inherit it. I'm that good." He said "Well get to work then sweetie." And sure enough he got the best blow job he ever received.

After a little "rebuilding" time he thought, if that was that good...."How much for sex?" She chuckled and said, "Honey, I'd own this whole damned town if only I had a pussy."

[Godfather]

They're not hookers, they're massage therapists.

Yeah, they'll massage your cock for money.

[chinook]

i love ya'll.  thanks for the birthday wishes. 

[Buzz Killington]

So...no birthday specials?  You suck.

[Saniflush]

Yeah, they'll massage your cock for money.

There's a word for that; I think it's hooker?

[Godfather]

There's a word for that; I think it's hooker?

You're a hooker!

[chinook]

So...no birthday specials?  You suck.

birthday specials...

25% off all midget porn...includes autograph framed picture of weskie. 

for the wench...all water proof vibrators 35 percent off.   we'll overnight across the pond. 

the jumbo special ...$34.95

anal lubes (except coconut flavor) 25 percent off. 

[Godfather]

Damn the coconut flavor is my favorite.

[Snaggletiger]

Damn the coconut flavor is my favorite.

More of a vanilla spice man myself when it comes to your higher end anal lubes.

[Buzz Killington]

Damn the coconut flavor is my favorite.

I like the strawberry myself, cause when you get to the bottom it's a piece of candy inside.

[Snaggletiger]

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.

The first dwarf, however, is unable to get a stiffy. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of, "ONE, TWO, THREE...UUUUH!" all night long.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"

The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I just couldn't get a hard on."

The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?!!" he asked. "I couldn't even get on the bed!!!"

[Tiger Wench]

birthday specials...

for the wench...all water proof vibrators 35 percent off.   we'll overnight across the pond

This. This is why I love you.