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Beam Me Up Scotty

Snaggletiger

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #20 on: March 23, 2012, 10:28:19 AM »
May a crazed Arab repairman board up your girlfriend.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Godfather

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #21 on: March 23, 2012, 10:32:00 AM »
Snotty beamed me up twice this morning...it was wonderful.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #22 on: March 23, 2012, 10:52:01 AM »
May you be forced to visit a near-sighted proctologist.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

GH2001

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #23 on: March 23, 2012, 11:23:24 AM »
Have never seen the appeal of Star Trek...or TJ Hooker.

So, for me, he'll always be Denny Crane.

Or himself from.....RESCUE.....9 1 1
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WDE

dallaswareagle

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #24 on: March 23, 2012, 11:35:14 AM »
Well then...

May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your grandfather.

They would fall through his bones.
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Pell City Tiger

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #25 on: March 23, 2012, 09:01:49 PM »
May you be forced to visit a near-sighted proctologist.
May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #26 on: March 24, 2012, 09:57:26 AM »
I think I know his secret:

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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

GarMan

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #27 on: March 24, 2012, 02:32:10 PM »
I think I know his secret:
That's reserved for alphas only.
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.  - Winston Churchill

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.  - Mark Twain

Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!  - Stewie Griffin

"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."  - Ayn Rand

Snaggletiger

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #28 on: April 02, 2012, 03:30:03 PM »
May a weird customs inspector discover a secret compartment in your sister.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Pell City Tiger

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #29 on: April 02, 2012, 07:00:19 PM »
May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #30 on: April 03, 2012, 09:14:10 AM »
May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."