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Beam Me Up Scotty

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Snaggletiger

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Beam Me Up Scotty
« on: March 22, 2012, 09:38:16 AM »
William "Captain Kirk" Shatner turns 81 today.   
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2012, 09:47:05 AM »
I thought he died in a horrible bus accident recently?
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Godfather

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2012, 10:37:58 AM »
How do I stay so healthy and boyishly handsome? It's simple. I drink the blood of young runaways.
William Shatner

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Gus is gone, hooray!
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AUJarhead

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2012, 10:52:21 AM »
And sleep with the green aliens.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2012, 10:57:06 AM »
Quote from: Godfather on March 22, 2012, 10:37:58 AM
How do I stay so healthy and boyishly handsome? It's simple. I drink the blood of young runaways.
William Shatner

Highly illogical, Captain
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Godfather

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #5 on: March 22, 2012, 11:00:54 AM »
Quote from: Snaggletiger on March 22, 2012, 10:57:06 AM
Highly illogical, Captain
Dammit Jim...I'm a doctor not a coal miner.
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dallaswareagle

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2012, 12:15:08 PM »
And he never said " Beam me up scotty"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beam_me_up,_Scotty   
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Snaggletiger

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #7 on: March 22, 2012, 12:25:54 PM »
Quote from: dallaswareagle on March 22, 2012, 12:15:08 PM
And he never said " Beam me up scotty"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beam_me_up,_Scotty   

Do you go through life looking for ways to steal all the joy from others' existence?  Damn you and your wiki's.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

dallaswareagle

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #8 on: March 22, 2012, 12:37:20 PM »
Quote from: Snaggletiger on March 22, 2012, 12:25:54 PM
Do you go through life looking for ways to steal all the joy from others' existence?  Damn you and your wiki's.

No, I just have so much respect for you and your post that I want you to be accurate.
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

wesfau2

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #9 on: March 22, 2012, 12:40:35 PM »
Have never seen the appeal of Star Trek...or TJ Hooker.

So, for me, he'll always be Denny Crane.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #10 on: March 22, 2012, 12:42:44 PM »
Quote from: dallaswareagle on March 22, 2012, 12:37:20 PM
No, I just have so much respect for you and your post that I want you to be accurate.

May a crazed band of camel jockeys give your sister a hysterectomy.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #11 on: March 22, 2012, 12:59:15 PM »
Quote from: wesfau2 on March 22, 2012, 12:40:35 PM
Have never seen the appeal of Star Trek...or TJ Hooker.

So, for me, he'll always be Denny Crane.

He and Spader made a great duo.  I miss that show.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

AUTiger1

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #12 on: March 22, 2012, 01:15:49 PM »
Quote from: wesfau2 on March 22, 2012, 12:40:35 PM
Have never seen the appeal of Star Trek...or TJ Hooker.

So, for me, he'll always be Denny Crane.

Bra-fucking-vo!   

What's my name?   
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Tarheel

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #13 on: March 22, 2012, 01:39:39 PM »
Quote from: Snaggletiger on March 22, 2012, 09:38:16 AM
William "Captain Kirk" Shatner turns 81 today.   

From William Shatner's groundbreaking album "Has Been"...here's his hit "You'll Have Time":



"'Live life, live life, like you're gonna die.  Because you are.  You're.  Gonna.  Die...'"


I think he was :high: when he sang this...
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The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. 
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AU_Tiger_2000

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #14 on: March 22, 2012, 01:58:38 PM »
Quote from: Tarheel on March 22, 2012, 01:39:39 PM
From William Shatner's groundbreaking album "Has Been"...here's his hit "You'll Have Time":



"'Live life, live life, like you're gonna die.  Because you are.  You're.  Gonna.  Die...'"


I think he was :high: when he sang this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvQwXOCKNLY#noexternalembed
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You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him: "That's a girl's name!" Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.

dallaswareagle

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #15 on: March 22, 2012, 02:27:32 PM »
Quote from: Snaggletiger on March 22, 2012, 12:42:44 PM
May a crazed band of camel jockeys give your sister a hysterectomy.

Well two things-She's already had one and why do you hate camel jockeys?
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Snaggletiger

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #16 on: March 22, 2012, 03:27:27 PM »
Quote from: dallaswareagle on March 22, 2012, 02:27:32 PM
Well two things-She's already had one and why do you hate camel jockeys?

May your only son become a Pointer Sister
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

dallaswareagle

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #17 on: March 22, 2012, 04:08:31 PM »
Quote from: Snaggletiger on March 22, 2012, 03:27:27 PM
May your only son become a Pointer Sister

I don't have any kids-Tis why I can surf Porn at the house without worry.
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Snaggletiger

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #18 on: March 22, 2012, 04:15:22 PM »
Quote from: dallaswareagle on March 22, 2012, 04:08:31 PM
I don't have any kids-Tis why I can surf Porn at the house without worry.

Well then...

May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your grandfather.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Pell City Tiger

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Re: Beam Me Up Scotty
« Reply #19 on: March 22, 2012, 07:22:54 PM »
May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora tissue.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."
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