In A Few Years We'll All Be Chicks by Adam Carolla

[GarMan]

Still don't disagree with that video. I'm sure that shocks you since you filter out context and consider me to be some Cindy fuckin Sheehan.

Is that Andrew Breitbart interviewing him? Remember me saying I liked him too? Probably not.

Now Cindy...  You're normally the one who sets the context and tone of your own messages.  I don't do that to you.  I mean, we all know how Christians, Conservatives and Theocrats are one-in-the-same and an evil scourge on modern society.  Perhaps, we should just burn 'em all at the stake...

I do find Adam's hat interesting.

Here's a couple of videos that actually do directly conflict with a position you've made a huge stink over on here over and over again. 

Well, I've never stated Adam Carolla got it right 100% of the time...  He's just fun to hear from time to time.  And, I've suggested more than once that I'm slowly moving in that direction, which you've obviously missed over and over again...  I'm just tired of hearing about all of these grandiose visions of pot legalization when nobody from the pro-pot movement has a reasonable or rational plan for making any of it happen.  Kalifornia was a big damn success.  In the end, none of this will go anywhere... 

And what?  No follow-through on immigration bill?  I suspected that you've never actually read it...  If it wasn't for the lamestream libtard media, you'd know very little about it. 

[GarMan]

Hey Tweedles!  Can we get back on topic?  You know that topic about how men are fucking awesome and women should just be used for sex, cooking, and cleaning? 

Sorry...  I didn't realize there was any room for discussion with those two undeniable facts. 

Discuss... 

[AUChizad]

Now Cindy...  You're normally the one who sets the context and tone of your own messages.  I don't do that to you.  I mean, we all know how Christians, Conservatives and Theocrats are one-in-the-same and an evil scourge on modern society.  Perhaps, we should just burn 'em all at the stake...

You're a dumbass...

Well, I've never stated Adam Carolla got it right 100% of the time...  He's just fun to hear from time to time.

Where did I say it? I just said I am enjoying his book, for fuck's sake. That being said, I still haven't found something I disagree with him on, and would suspect I agree with him more often than you do, despite your efforts to paint me as some kind of hypocrite because Adam Carolla may have said something that goes against your false perception of what my opinion "probably" is.

  And, I've suggested more than once that I'm slowly moving in that direction, which you've obviously missed over and over again...  I'm just tired of hearing about all of these grandiose visions of pot legalization when nobody from the pro-pot movement has a reasonable or rational plan for making any of it happen.  Kalifornia was a big damn success.  In the end, none of this will go anywhere... 

Yeah, I guess I must have missed it somewhere in your 10,000 posts about how only stupid dirty hippies can possibly be opposed to marijuana prohibition.

And what?  No follow-through on immigration bill?  I suspected that you've never actually read it...  If it wasn't for the lamestream libtard media, you'd know very little about it.

What the fuck else do you want me to say? I've said about 20 times that I'm in favor of e-verify and immigration enforcement, but that this particular piece of legislation is a piece of unconstitutional, unenforceable shit. Most people in that thread agreed with me. When I repeat it  I get a dismissive  emoticon, so what's the point? What the hell else do you want me to say?

[GarMan]

You're a dumbass...

You take yourself entirely too seriously... 

Where did I say it? I just said I am enjoying his book, for fuck's sake. That being said, I still haven't found something I disagree with him on, and would suspect I agree with him more often than you do, despite your efforts to paint me as some kind of hypocrite because Adam Carolla may have said something that goes against your false perception of what my opinion "probably" is.

Again with this cyber-ego of yours...  You certainly never have a problem using over-generalizations to piss on others, but I  a little bit, and you're panties get all bunched up.  All of those stupid Christians and such...  You continually paint that perception, Cindy.  Enjoy's his book, for Christ's sake.

Yeah, I guess I must have missed it somewhere in your 10,000 posts about how only stupid dirty hippies can possibly be opposed to marijuana prohibition.

Their own worst enemies sometimes...

What the fuck else do you want me to say? I've said about 20 times that I'm in favor of e-verify and immigration enforcement, but that this particular piece of legislation is a piece of unconstitutional, unenforceable shit. Most people in that thread agreed with me. When I repeat it  I get a dismissive  emoticon, so what's the point? What the hell else do you want me to say? 

Scrap the whole damn thing and judge it as a piece of unconstitutional, unenforceable shit because 10-15% of it is contentious?  More than 60% of it does exactly what I think we might possibly agree on.  It establishes deterrents to illegal immigration without overstepping any reasonable boundaries.  But, let's scrap the whole damn thing... Cuz, cuz, cuz it's a piece of unconstitutional, unenforceable shit.

[wreckingball]

I never realized that people thought Adam Carolla was funny.

[GarMan]

I never realized that people thought Adam Carolla was funny.

The original Man Show was quite entertaining...  I mean funny...  And, entertaining... 

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xcdx4o_juggy-talent-show_fun 

[Tarheel]

The original Man Show was quite entertaining...  I mean funny...  And, entertaining... 

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xcdx4o_juggy-talent-show_fun 

Phenomenal show.  I miss the Tasty and the Talent that it showcased.

[Godfather]

Now it's time for girls jumping on trampolines

[GarMan]

Now it's time for girls jumping on trampolines 

Well, perhaps that was the 'Bama version, but I prefer the official tryouts...

[GH2001]

You're a dumbass...
Where did I say it? I just said I am enjoying his book, for fuck's sake. That being said, I still haven't found something I disagree with him on, and would suspect I agree with him more often than you do, despite your efforts to paint me as some kind of hypocrite because Adam Carolla may have said something that goes against your false perception of what my opinion "probably" is.
Yeah, I guess I must have missed it somewhere in your 10,000 posts about how only stupid dirty hippies can possibly be opposed to marijuana prohibition.
What the fuck else do you want me to say? I've said about 20 times that I'm in favor of e-verify and immigration enforcement, but that this particular piece of legislation is a piece of unconstitutional, unenforceable shit. Most people in that thread agreed with me. When I repeat it  I get a dismissive  emoticon, so what's the point? What the hell else do you want me to say?

Settle down Chizad. Seriously, you're gonna have a stroke one day dude. GarMan's just messin with you.  I disagree with GarMan on a few things but I'll hardly get wound up tight about it. I certainly don't think he's a dumbass, just strongly opinionated as you and many other x'ers are. I happen to think pot should be legal in some form but not because I personally like it, but because I think it is no more evil (and even less in some cases) than most things that are legal already. It's tobacco's dumber cousin to me. GarMan disagrees, and that's that. Maybe he has his reasons, who knows.

I do have to ask you - since you are on the topic of things being unconstitutional - do you also agree with the same precept on ObamaCare? Sure, there may be a few decent things in it, but the main piece of it is very bad. Would you agree? Work with me here, as I am trying to meet you in the middle.

[Vandy Vol]

I do have to ask you - since you are on the topic of things being unconstitutional - do you also agree with the same precept on ObamaCare? Sure, there may be a few decent things in it, but the main piece of it is very bad. Would you agree? Work with me here, as I am trying to meet you in the middle.

I'll meet you in the bathroom in five minutes.

[AUChizad]

I do have to ask you - since you are on the topic of things being unconstitutional - do you also agree with the same precept on ObamaCare? Sure, there may be a few decent things in it, but the main piece of it is very bad. Would you agree? Work with me here, as I am trying to meet you in the middle.

No one remembers when I say shit they agree with.

I know I'm not going to get any resistance here, but this is the shadiest way to pass something so huge that directly affects so many people that I've ever seen.

The Dems just basically wiped their ass with the constitution.

When roughly 2/3rds of the U.S. population oppose something like this no matter which poll you look at, and then they just go ahead and sneak it through by means of reconciliation, deem & pass, and other absurd backdoor tactics, democracy has failed.

[GarMan]

No one remembers when I say shit they agree with. 

Not stirring the pot...  Just sharing my opinion, you seem to emphasize the disagreements so much that we forget about these circumstances...  Almost 2 years ago... 

[AUChizad]

Here's an example of an excerpt from the book that has me rolling.

He has a whole chapter on pop culture, in which he goes through movies, music, and TV shows he likes, and ones he hates.

Under the music he hates section:

"I Shot The SHeriff" By Bob Marley

"But I did not shoot the deputy." Oh, our mistake. Sorry for the inconvenience." Bob Marley's a legend and so is Eric Clapton and there's something progressive, evolved, and cool about a British guy covering a reggae song. It still does not prevent the song from blowing hippo ass, not rhyming, and not making any fucking sense whatsoever. He shot the sheriff, but he didn't shoot they deputy? Bob Marley would make an awesome attorney. "Your Honor, while it's true my client murdered the sheriff, he did not, however, shoot his lower-ranking partner. We'll take our apology in the form of a check. Thank you."

"Maneater" by Hall & Oates

I know you guys love "Sara Smile" and "Rich Girl" and expect me to give Hall & Oates some sort of pass based on the work they did before "Maneater." Well, guess what? O.J. has a Heisman and he rushed for two thousand yards. This is not only one of the worst songs ever created, it's one of the worst artistic endeavors ever undertaken, and I'm including "Piss Christ" and those enema painter guys. It uses a shitty metaphor to illustrate a fucked-out theme, and just when things couldn't get worse, there's a horrible generic eighties sax solo. Call me old-fashioned, but I like my sax solos to have some relationship to the song they're in. That sax solo sounds as if Hall & Oates reached into a pillowcase that said "Eighties Sax Solos" (picture Rob Lowe in St. Elmo's Fire). The whole song was done on a Casio and represents everything that's wrong with music. Imagine if you resurrected Hayden, Tchaikovsky, Janis Joplin, and Wes Montgomery, sat them down in a room and played them that piece of cat shit rolled in AIDS jimmies known as "Maneater." Then you told them, "This song made it all the way to number one." They would never stop vomiting. Other than that, it's an okay tune.

[wesfau2]

No beef with Adam, but his analysis of "I Shot The Sheriff" is a bit lacking.

Bob shot the sheriff, who was "aiming to shoot him down" illegally.  It was a killing of self-defense.  So, while he will cop to the shooting of John Brown, he refuses to take the fall for killing the deputy.

[AUChizad]

No beef with Adam, but his analysis of "I Shot The Sheriff" is a bit lacking.

Bob shot the sheriff, who was "aiming to shoot him down" illegally.  It was a killing of self-defense.  So, while he will cop to the shooting of John Brown, he refuses to take the fall for killing the deputy.

He just hates Raggae.

Reggae music sucks but no one except me will say it. Bob Marley's "Jamming" is one of the shittiest songs ever made. And no one ever utters a word about it because somehow you're either uptight, racist, or square if you don't like reggae music. Here's my problem with reggae music: You only need one reggae album in your collection to officially own every reggae song ever recorded because they are all the same.

Having a collection of reggae music is like having a collection of garbage disposals in your kitchen. If you've got one, you're covered. Here's how you know reggae music sucks. Whenever you argue with someone about reggae music they go, "Are you telling me that with your feet in the sand and the Caribbean as far as the eye can see, sipping rum out of a hollowed out pineapple, that reggae music doesn't sound great?" Of course it does. A recording of my mom getting raped would sound good under those circumstances. What if I made that argument? "Are you telling me you don't enjoy Ben Folds when you're getting your cock sucked?" Nobody else works where you are and what you're doing into the music argument, just reggae defenders.

Another except from the music section that I thought was funny, but the full context is too long for me to transcribe. He's talking about how his favorite music is all from the 80's.

But you wouldn't know there was this much great music in the eighties if you ever tuned in to the eighties station on satellite radio or watched any VH1 flashback eighties shows or listened to any eighties weekend on your local radio station. Then it's a lot of "Union of the Snake" by Duran Duran, Wham's "Young Guns, " "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell,... it's all the soundtrack to a really shitty Adam Sandler movie. It's like we're punishing ourselves. It's called the Eighties Station, not the Super-Shitty Fucked-Out Horrible Songs from the Eighties Station. We could be hearing "Clubland by Elvis Costello or "Stupefaction" by Graham Parker, but instead we get "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats. This is the equivalent to getting a sack of trail mix, picking out all the smoked almonds and peanut M&Ms, and just eating the raw sunflower seeds. Why are we fucking doing this to ourselves? Why are we being forced to listen to the biggest mistakes of the decade?

[AUChizad]

From is chapter on nature:

Dung Beetles

This is a bad draw in the animal kingdom. This is your whole life - you roll around in a pile of shit until a hawk eats you, which is sweet relief. The dung beetle would be one of those insects other insects couldn't complain in front of. Like when you tell a guy how miserable you were at Boy Scout camp and he tells you he did three tours in Nam. A pill bug couldn't be like, "Oh, man I have to live under a rock," or a moth couldn't go, "Goddamn. Every time someone turns on a porch light, I have to go flying at it," because a dung beetle would be like, "Cry me a river. I have to roll around a ball of elephant shit that's three times my height." Could you imagine how low the self-esteem of a dung beetle must be? If I get a zit I won't even leave the house. This is worse than Sisyphus: At least he was pushing granite and not rhino flop.

[GH2001]

No beef with Adam, but his analysis of "I Shot The Sheriff" is a bit lacking.

Bob shot the sheriff, who was "aiming to shoot him down" illegally.  It was a killing of self-defense.  So, while he will cop to the shooting of John Brown, he refuses to take the fall for killing the deputy.

Agree on Marley and Clapton, but his analysis of Maneater was spot on.

When I read "that piece of cat shit rolled in AIDS jimmies known as 'Maneater' " - I literally spit out coffee.

[AUChizad]

Agree on Marley and Clapton, but his analysis of Maneater was spot on.

When I read "that piece of cat shit rolled in AIDS jimmies known as 'Maneater' " - I literally spit out coffee.

"Piss Christ" had me closing my eyes and clenching my fists trying not to laugh my ass off in my cube.

And I agree. I like Reggae too, but he just has a way with words and metaphors that cracks my shit up.

These are not, by a long shot, highlights from the book, it's just that these sections are easily digestible in small excerpts. Most of funniest lines aren't as funny if they're not in the context of the whole rant he's on.

[AUChizad]

Bathroom rules:

Rule #10: No Desecrating The Bathroom

No pissing on the toilet paper roll, no boogers on top of the urinal, no carving your gang tag into the toilet seat, no kicking in the stall door. (Ladies, I know you're all appalled right now, but this is commonplace.) You know when you're driving and you're eight miles from your house and you have to shit so bad your teeth hurt and you screech into a gas station and ask the guy if you can use the bathroom and he says it's for employees only? Do you think that's the policy they started out with, or the one they put into place after all the dickheads treated their bathroom like an enemy village their platoon had overrun? Thanks to you assholes, my asshole's gonna have to wait until we get home.