The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #100 on:** February 23, 2012, 02:34:13 PM »

So we have what...44 more letters from Lord Saybinz to read?

AUChizad · « **Reply #101 on:** February 23, 2012, 02:46:23 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on February 23, 2012, 02:34:13 PM

So we have what...44 more letters from Lord Saybinz to read?

Roughly 2/3 of them.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #102 on:** February 23, 2012, 02:47:57 PM »

Quote from: AUChizad on February 23, 2012, 02:46:23 PM

Roughly 2/3 of them.

Yep, around 53.7% or thereabouts.

AUChizad · « **Reply #103 on:** February 23, 2012, 04:45:48 PM »

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Letter #62

Dear Alvin Kamara,

You may have heard about one of the many racist activities that are a common occurrence on the University of Alabama campus.

Not to worry. You are a football player. You will be tolerated. Unless you want to play quarterback.

Signed,

Nick Saban

Godfather · « **Reply #104 on:** February 23, 2012, 04:55:31 PM »

Quote

#63

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #105 on:** February 23, 2012, 05:05:11 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on February 23, 2012, 10:45:14 AM

Letter #64

Dear Al

I jusy wanted to follow up on that black quarterback thing. I didn't really mean "tolerated". That won't really be necessary. See...we've had black quartebacks here at Alabama before. But we had to pass them off as Full Blooded Cherokee Indians. How does the name Numta Huwachakuk sound to you? It actually translates as Laughing Beaver, but we won't put that in the program. Ready to sign?

My Love Always, Nick

AUChizad · « **Reply #106 on:** February 23, 2012, 05:12:49 PM »

Quote from: Godfather on February 23, 2012, 04:55:31 PM

Letter #63

--OR--

Letter #65

Quote

Godfather · « **Reply #107 on:** February 23, 2012, 05:23:00 PM »

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Letter #66

Dear Alvin,

I just got off the phone with your girlfriend, she will be joining us in the Athletic Department as junior assistant to the assistant coach. We really look forward to you coming to Alabama next year, and so does she.

Your Pal,

Nick

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #108 on:** February 23, 2012, 05:34:08 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on February 23, 2012, 05:05:11 PM

Letter #67

Oh and one favor if you don't mind, Al. When you go on ESPN at the UnderArmour Allstar game to announce "I goin' wiff Roll Tide"....it'd be best to leave mama out of the picture. I know she thinks you're going to Georgia and all that so it'd be best if you left her at home. You understand.

XXOO, Nicky

Kaos · « **Reply #109 on:** February 24, 2012, 07:31:07 AM »

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Letter #69

Dear Al

Daniel A. Moore already has an unauthorized print with your image ready to go.

Please let us know what number he should put on your jersey in his painting. It will hang on the wall of 11,000 trailers and 400 law offices.

Nick

Kaos · « **Reply #110 on:** February 24, 2012, 07:36:17 AM »

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Dear Al

Which bank would you like to "work" at while you are here? Remember this will also be the bank where you work for the rest of your life if you get injured and can't play. That's how we roll.

You can't choose Bryant bank because, well, that would just be too obvious even for us. But Regions is always a good choice.

BTW, does your mother speak German? If not we can send Rosetta Stone over because those Krauts up at Mercedes might want to discuss her new supervisor's position even though we told them it was cool.

Nick

Note: Bank offer only applies if you produce.

Kaos · « **Reply #111 on:** February 24, 2012, 07:38:50 AM »

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Letter #71

Hey Al

What do you think about white girl titties.

Skeet skeet!

Nick

Kaos · « **Reply #112 on:** February 24, 2012, 07:42:10 AM »

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Letter #72

Dear Al

Let us know when and where you're ACT test is going to be. Depending on the day we've got Kim Sun Park or Jiang Jong to come over there and take it for you.

Kaos · « **Reply #113 on:** February 24, 2012, 07:45:51 AM »

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Letter #73

Dear Al

I'm sure other coaches have told you about the racist graffiti and stuff spraypainted around here.

Don't worry. That was intended for the regular negrahs. Over here you ain't black, aight? You're crimson. You don't want all those other negrahs hanging around anyway.

Yours in colorblindness
NS

GH2001 · « **Reply #114 on:** February 24, 2012, 09:47:46 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on February 24, 2012, 07:42:10 AM

At least the Math portion anyway.

Sir Woodfred Cambridge from the Oxford Dept of English will be stepping in for the Verbal part.

AUChizad · « **Reply #115 on:** February 24, 2012, 03:20:22 PM »

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Letter #74

Dear Alvin Kamara,

You know me and Mark Emmert are like BFFs, right? I also have pictures of his family that make the ones I have of yours look like the 700 Club. Just in case you doubted the whole "Impervious to the NCAA's jurisdiction" thing.

Signed,

Nick Saban

Kaos · « **Reply #116 on:** February 24, 2012, 03:24:37 PM »

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Letter #75

Dear Al

Do you like to fish? Do you like old white men?

We have serveral old white men in sweaters who would like to take you fishing. Check your Facebook Page. You've got a bunch of friend requests.

Nick

Kaos · « **Reply #117 on:** February 24, 2012, 03:30:21 PM »

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Letter #76

Dear Al -

What's wrong? We talked to the Krauts up at Mercedes and your mom didn't ~~turn in her application~~ give them her name on a post-it so they could make her a supervisor.

We talked to Sealy Realty. There's no furniture in the house ~~that was bought for them~~ they are going to rent while they watch you excel here.

We talked to Jessica and Sarah over at Phi Mu. You didn't show up for your ~~blow job~~ tour of the campus.

I'm beginning to worry. Don't fuck me over on this, understand?

Nick

Kaos · « **Reply #118 on:** February 24, 2012, 03:36:29 PM »

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Letter #77

Dear Al

I hear that wormy Mark Richt bastard has been talking to you about God. And that anvil-headed Gene Chizik motherfucker has been talking to you about family.

Let me tell you something, Al. My boss? No not that wobbling fuck Mal Moore, but my real boss? He's already done the God thing. And branched out on his own. He's got some serious fucking juice. Don't want to fuck around with him. Capice?

And we'll show you what "family" means around here. We ARE the fucking family. People fuck with us, they defy gravity and fall up stairs. Manson ain't got shit on us. Capone? Fucking amateur.

Are you picking up what I'm putting down here, Al? Better get your shit straight.

I'd hate for something to happen to your mom, buddy.

Nick

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #119 on:** February 24, 2012, 03:56:35 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on February 23, 2012, 05:05:11 PM

Letter #78

Alejandro:

You like how I spoke Mexican there, Al? I'm not just the most powerful coach in the universe. I can do other thngs good too. Like speaking Mexican. Try this one Al. Pagar para jugar. Yeah, I think you know what that means don't you, Al?

Manuto,

Senor Nick