Letter #40Dear Alvin Kamara,If you come to Alabama we will guarantee you a Heisman Trophy. Don't worry if you dont actually win one from the Heisman Trust. We will retroactively award you one 15 years later, and our whole fanbase will claim it as true.Your Friend,Wayne Atcheson
Letter #41Dear Alvin Kamara,I am not sure if you got my previous letters. If you want to come to Alabama check yes or no[ ] Yes[ ] No Love,Nick Saban
Letter #42Dear Alvin Kamara,You ever...seen a grown man naked?Do you...like movies about Gladiators?Have you ever been...in a Turkish Prison?Sincerely,Nick Saban
Letter #43'sup al Tha Buddy' gas be holding' grape white owls, bitch. Just tell Sabbin that shit be mecidicinal. Yo eyez be bad. It straight. TPD Blue down wit it. Dre K
Letter #44Dear Al My wife loves this place. She is happier here than she would be if she were being double penetrated by Brad Pitt and George Clooney. Why wouldn't she love it? You can go to a restaurant on a brown river here. It overlooks a well known gay meeting place, not that there is anything wrong with that. They have a hotel. You can watch 16 movies in the same building. They have a mall built on ground where Burt Reynolds one filmed movie. No. Not Smokey and the Bamdit. No. Not Deliverance. No. Not Boogie Nights. But a movie. You have THREE options for pizza delivery. And don't forget the grease soaked ribs. You never get lost because every street is named either Bryant or King. If you like event things like opera, plays, quality golf, concerts, music festivals or really anything at all besides yanking your dick at home it's only two to eight hours away. It's a Mecca. My wife never wants to leave. Ever. She's bigger and stronger than me. So I do what she says. Ive got so little power at home I take it out on everybody else I meet. So when can you come join me for a fun Tuscaloosa day of sitting in the Old Navy parking lot and counting the number of fat bitches with greasy hair wearing houndstooth?Help me. Please. Nick
Put some numbers on them, K! Fuck!
I'm driving. Best I can do.
Letter #45Dear AlHey, business is business. You use a gun, I use a fountain pen what's the difference? Let's put it in my terms, you're in a hostile takeover, you snatch us up for some green mail, but you're not expecting some poison pill to be running around the building, am I right? Al, *booby* I'm your white knight. Okay, I'm sorry Al. I just love Die Hard and thought a quote or two from the movie would work here. Sincerely, Lord Saybinz
Letter #46Dear Alvin,Do you like to go for long boat rides in the moonlight? Do you ever do any fishing? Need a new laptop?Come see us.Signed,Some Aubren booster
Dammit, me of all people had to correct about 3/4ths of the numbers on these letters.
Thats because you're Head Mod.
Your warn meter just spiked.
Letter #46Dear Alvin Kamara,Do you have a handler? You know, a rich old guy that takes care of things for you? If not, come on down to T-Town and we will hook you up.Signed, Nick Saban
Skrait money...But you fucked up the format...
Shit, forgot Chizad was a mod. Fuck, I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry I fucked up the flow of this thread.
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