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The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response

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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #140 on: February 26, 2012, 09:13:26 PM »
Quote
Letter #97

Dear Alvin,

Mark Richt was in that Courageous movie - for like 2 minutes. They made a whole feature length about me. I have an autographed copy of Gamechanger enclosed with this. Prepare to nut yourself at my awesomeness.

Nick
« Last Edit: February 27, 2012, 10:31:38 AM by AUChizad »
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #141 on: February 26, 2012, 09:19:36 PM »
Quote
Letter #98

Dear Alvin,

I heard Gene Cheesenuts called you. Uhm, don't take his calls. EVER! He's a cheater. Don't you remember how he gave Cam Newton's daddy $200K and covered up all of Cam's murders? Yeah. Scary people in Auburn. Don't call them. We will be monitoring your calls.

Nick
« Last Edit: February 27, 2012, 10:31:56 AM by AUChizad »
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #142 on: February 26, 2012, 09:21:35 PM »
Quote
Letter #99

Dear Alvin,

Imagine yourself in this .

Nick
« Last Edit: February 27, 2012, 10:34:59 AM by AUChizad »
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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #143 on: February 26, 2012, 09:24:36 PM »
Quote
Letter #100

Dear Alvin,

Just a word to the wise. Don't get yourself hurt during your senior year. I know your team probably depends on you but screw them, Alvin. You have to think about your future. If you get hurt, well, call that Phelon kid and ask him how it goes. You know what's up, Alvin. Focus on wearing Crimson and leave high school to the guys who'll be driving garbage trucks or attending Valdosta State next year.

Love,

Nick
« Last Edit: February 27, 2012, 10:35:59 AM by AUChizad »
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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #144 on: February 26, 2012, 09:28:27 PM »
Quote
Letter #101

Dear Alvin,

Read a story that mentioned you as a top target for Georgia Tech. You don't want to go there. That triple option shit is frigging old. We play real men football in the SEC. You don't want to be wasted in the ACC. Plus, our girls are way hotter and sluttier than the ones at Ga.Tech.

Nick
« Last Edit: February 27, 2012, 10:36:07 AM by AUChizad »
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

AUChizad

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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #145 on: February 27, 2012, 09:41:54 AM »
Quote
Letter #102

Dearest Alvin,

I'll offer if you'll commit...TODAY. Of course, should you choose to commit today, that's just basically like putting your name on a waiting list. Our offers are in no way binding on our part. But they damn sure are on yours. Also, should you choose to decline this offer of a lifetime...FUCK YOU. We didn't want you anyway. This has long been a recruiting "catch-phrase" of sorts amongst our fans, and now I have instituted it as official policy. But we know you'll make the right choice.

Nick Saban

« Last Edit: February 27, 2012, 10:36:18 AM by AUChizad »
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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #146 on: February 27, 2012, 10:15:02 AM »
Quote

Letter # 103

Dear Al

Did you know our band was worth a million dollars?  That's some shit right there, aight?

Think about it.  The damn band knows maybe three songs.

If we pay the crappiest band on earth that kind of money what do you think we're going to give you? 

Nicky

« Last Edit: February 27, 2012, 10:36:29 AM by AUChizad »
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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #147 on: February 27, 2012, 10:19:58 AM »
Quote
Letter #104

Al

Do you know the words to Blinded By the Light?  Sounds like "wrapped up in a douche" to me but I can't be sure. 

And why does AC/DC sing "She was a fax machine she kept her modem clean?"  I don't understand that. 

I like peanut butter and oatmeal cakes. 

Tuscaloosa is hell on earth.  I'm so damn bored.

Nick

« Last Edit: February 27, 2012, 10:36:44 AM by AUChizad »
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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #148 on: February 27, 2012, 10:25:15 AM »
Technically that last one was #104....Kaos fucked up the numbering on the previous page.
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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #149 on: February 27, 2012, 10:32:08 AM »
Quote
Letter 105

Al -

Here's how we're gonna play this.  I know you think you're going to Georgia but that shit just ain't gonna fly, aight?

Remember that fun summer job you had where you didn't have to do nothin' but play Call of Duty on the PS3?  Guess what, motherfucker?  You sign with Georgia and we'll have to let folks know, capice?  That'll be an NCAA violation and we'll make sure you get your eligibility taken away. 

Send me your fax and we'll pretend like none of that ever happened. 

Fuck you, you'll do what I tell you. 

Nick.


I suck at the numbering. 
« Last Edit: February 27, 2012, 10:37:19 AM by AUChizad »
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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #150 on: February 27, 2012, 10:38:02 AM »
Technically that last one was #104....Kaos fucked up the numbering on the previous page.
Fixed. My e-Penis is so swollen, I believe I have developed e-Priapism.

So, I guess we're done here.
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The Six

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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #151 on: February 27, 2012, 11:43:57 AM »
Fixed. My e-Penis is so swollen, I believe I have developed e-Priapism.

So, I guess we're done here.

I'm a little disappointed the retard crew from WoollyAL.com didn't latch on to this.
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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #152 on: February 27, 2012, 12:02:32 PM »
I'm a little disappointed the retard crew from WoollyAL.com didn't latch on to this.
Why the fuck you give a shit about that waste of a site is beyond me.
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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #154 on: February 27, 2012, 06:27:26 PM »
Because of threads like the following:

http://woollyal.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=8557
http://woollyal.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=13732
http://www.woolyal.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=13086

If you didn't go there, then they wouldn't reduce your IQ enough to give a fuck about that collection of tin foil hat wearing bammer idiot fucks.
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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #155 on: February 27, 2012, 10:28:57 PM »
If you didn't go there, then they wouldn't reduce your IQ enough to give a fuck about that collection of tin foil hat wearing bammer idiot fucks.

But then the terrorists win, Brock. Fuck that. If they live to make sure I (as an Auburn fan) can't enjoy Auburn's successes then I will return the favor.
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #156 on: February 28, 2012, 10:47:17 AM »
I didn't click any of those links and could give a shit what the inbred idiots have to say on that site. 

Besides I have seen your game over there, or lack thereof, you might want to reconsider your position.
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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #157 on: February 28, 2012, 10:50:24 AM »
I didn't click any of those links and could give a shit what the inbred idiots have to say on that site. 

Besides I have seen your game over there, or lack thereof, you might want to reconsider your position.

JN actually participates there?   :facepalm:
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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #158 on: February 29, 2012, 12:33:07 AM »
JN actually participates there?   :facepalm:
That is just not sensible
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Re: The Equivalent To Texting A Girl 105 Times In One Day With No Response
« Reply #159 on: February 29, 2012, 10:19:19 AM »
That is just not sensible

Daas funny right there.
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