R. Kelly: Not Guilty

[wesfau2]

That piss was digital.

[GarMan]

That piss was digital.

Just keep'n it real from the Dam this week.  Or, better yet... 

Enkel houdend het echt!  Yo!!!

http://www.youtube.com/v/FmBRBUZ7UWc&hl=en

[wesfau2]

Just keep'n it real from the Dam this week.  Or, better yet... 

Enkel houdend het echt!  Yo!!!

Amsterdam?  Nice.  I'll get my shopping list to you post haste.

[GarMan]

Amsterdam?  Nice.  I'll get my shopping list to you post haste.

Let's keep it legal... legal in the US that is.  I had plans to bring back some Cubans... cigars...  Cuban cigars, but I haven't had much luck since this bastion of Socialism/Nanny-state passed their nationwide smoking ban.  It goes into affect on July 1st.  The steakhouses and former cigar lounges have already sold out of their cigars, and the cigar shops close too early in the day.  Yes, you can find weed all over the place in these "coffee shops" and "cafes", but tobacco is off limits.  Fuckin' morons... 

[wesfau2]

Let's keep it legal... legal in the US that is. 

Oh.

Nevermind, my list just got reduced to nothingness.

Can you smuggle a prostitute if I meet you in Nevada?

[DnATL]

Can you smuggle a prostitute if I meet you in Nevada?

Like perhaps a midget in a suitcase?  Are you the third Irons brother?

[wesfau2]

Like perhaps a midget in a suitcase?  Are you the third Irons brother?

Kenny Irons wears wesfau underoos.

[GarMan]

Can you smuggle a prostitute if I meet you in Nevada?

That depends, but why go all the way to Nevada?  Whores are everywhere. 

[Tarheel]

That depends, but why go all the way to Nevada?  Whores are everywhere. 

From what I've heard I'd suggest some penicillin before touching any of those skanks in Amsterdam.

[wesfau2]

That depends, but why go all the way to Nevada?  Whores are everywhere. 

Your stipulation was legal in the US. 

[GarMan]

Your stipulation was legal in the US. 

Based on what I've seen over here, you might just want to stick to the whores in Nevada. 

[AUChizad]

Based on what I've seen over here, you might just want to stick to the whores in Nevada. 

You're clearly in the wrong part of the Red Light District. Stay on the main road, the side roads are where all the trannies are.
Surely, there's a few undesirables, but there are also some dimes out there.
When I passed by this girl who is far hotter than any girl who would ever think about having purely consensual sex with me, I had to ask. I was quoted at "50 Euro Suck & Fuck". That was a steal. That's about $75. You're not guaranteed BOTH if you pay $75 on dinner with a 7, 8, or 9, and this girl was all 10.

[Ogre]

You're clearly in the wrong part of the Red Light District. Stay on the main road, the side roads are where all the trannies are.
Surely, there's a few undesirables, but there are also some dimes out there.
When I passed by this girl who is far hotter than any girl who would ever think about having purely consensual sex with me, I had to ask. I was quoted at "50 Euro Suck & Fuck". That was a steal. That's about $75. You're not guaranteed BOTH if you pay $75 on dinner with a 7, 8, or 9, and this girl was all 10.

So did you close the deal?  Or will you plead the 5th?

[GarMan]

You're clearly in the wrong part of the Red Light District. Stay on the main road, the side roads are where all the trannies are.
Surely, there's a few undesirables, but there are also some dimes out there.
When I passed by this girl who is far hotter than any girl who would ever think about having purely consensual sex with me, I had to ask. I was quoted at "50 Euro Suck & Fuck". That was a steal. That's about $75. You're not guaranteed BOTH if you pay $75 on dinner with a 7, 8, or 9, and this girl was all 10.

Admittedly, I have not hit the RLDs, but that will likely change this weekend.  The vast majority of locals down around the south end aren't comparable to the ladies of Atlanta.  Those who did look good seemed to be sickly or diseased.  The server on Wednesday night was absolutely incredible, but she had these bumps everywhere on her skin.  I'm certain that it was a viral infection of some sort, but I wasn't going to request a culture. 

[AUChizad]

So did you close the deal?  Or will you plead the 5th?

Regrettably, I had a girlfriend and morals at the time.

Very few times in life do people deeply regret NOT soliciting a prostitute.

[Tiger Six]

Regrettably, I had a girlfriend and morals at the time.

Very few times in life do people deeply regret NOT soliciting a prostitute.

No Number 3?

[AUChizad]

No Number 3?

Shit! I probably could have at least gotten away with that!

If you're not touching, you're not cheating.

[Ogre]

"It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ..."

"What's a ZJ?"

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

[GarMan]

You're clearly in the wrong part of the Red Light District. Stay on the main road, the side roads are where all the trannies are.
Surely, there's a few undesirables, but there are also some dimes out there.
When I passed by this girl who is far hotter than any girl who would ever think about having purely consensual sex with me, I had to ask. I was quoted at "50 Euro Suck & Fuck". That was a steal. That's about $75. You're not guaranteed BOTH if you pay $75 on dinner with a 7, 8, or 9, and this girl was all 10.

OK...  I just ran the gauntlet.  My primary goal was to visit the cigar shop before it closed tonight, P.G.C. Hajenius (http://www.travbuddy.com/Pgc-Hajenius-v191134).  It was all class, but the humidor was disappointing.  They didn't have half of what I expected to find.  I was surprised to find several Dominican and Honduran cigars, but they didn't have nearly as many Cubans that I had hoped to sample. 

Since I was in the area, I gave the RLD a stroll.  What's the "wrong part of the RLD" because I didn't see a right part?  I must have seen about 60-70 women standing in their fuck-shacks in the RLD area by the Banana Bar and the Moulin Rouge, and although it was entertaining, I wouldn't consider touching 70-80% of them with a broom stick.  Now, I did have to stop and gawk a few times because there were a few real hot ladies in some of those windows, but it was an absolute freak show.  I was laughing a lot more than I was aroused. 

I might go back later... 

[GarMan]

I might go back later... 

OK...  I went back tonight.  I thought I smelled a lot of hash in the "Centrum" area of Amsterdam, but the RLD on a Friday night is even worse.  I'm fuckin' stoned, and I didn't even have to touch any weed.  At one point, I thought that I was actually going to puke...     Now, my head just hurts. 

As for the "puppies in the window", there was another interesting assortment tonight.  One strip was even dedicated to fat chicks.  It was hilarious.  I had to cruise it a couple of times.  The "trannies" are aggressive as hell.  Even when you didn't look at them, they were pounding on the glass and opening their doors in an attempt to get your attention.  It's still a fuckin' freak show.  About 25-30% were fairly attractive, and about 10% were impressive enough to fit my 10 category. 

Then, I got lost and wandered the back and side streets of Amsterdam for the past two hours.  The locals were of no help because most of them were stoned out of their mind.  The blogs on the interwebs claim that the RLD isn't safe at night, especially when you're alone, but I didn't have any problems.  There were a number of seedy looking individuals wandering around appearing to look for easy marks, but nobody approached me.  Perhaps, they were concerned about the second-hand smoke from my MonteCristo No. 50.