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Archer

ssgaufan

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Archer
« on: January 24, 2012, 08:08:51 AM »
Archer is back and still funny as hell.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Archer
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2012, 09:58:16 AM »
So last night, Archer and Lana (sp?) are being held captive and the bad guy says for them to get some rest because they're going to be released and hunted down in the morning.  Then bad guy turns and shoots a tiger in another cell.  Lana turns to Archer and says, "Okay go ahead and say it"

Say what?

That it's our last night alive so we should have sex

Lana, he just murdered a tiger, I can't have sex.....but if you want to masturbate in front of me, you can.  So, if you want to go ahead and get started....


I lost it.  I love this show.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

ssgaufan

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Re: Archer
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2012, 10:16:14 AM »
Damn!  I missed last nights show because I forgot it was Thursday.  My wife HATES this show, so that makes me like it that much more.
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Vandy Vol

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Re: Archer
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2012, 01:22:38 PM »
Lana, he just murdered a tiger, I can't have sex.....but if you want to masturbate in front of me, you can.  So, if you want to go ahead and get started....

My heart won't be in it; it will be with that tiger's family.

But you can go ahead and start if you want.
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"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

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Re: Archer
« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2012, 05:38:01 PM »
OH, WE MET A TIGER!!!!   But then it was murdered.
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AUChizad

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Re: Archer
« Reply #5 on: January 27, 2012, 06:03:54 PM »
Damn!  I missed last nights show because I forgot it was Thursday.  My wife HATES this show, so that makes me like it that much more.
That's what DVRs are for.
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wesfau2

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Re: Archer
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2012, 11:00:12 AM »
Heads up:

New season starts Jan 17.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Archer
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2012, 12:22:46 PM »
Heads up:

New season starts Jan 17.

What he said.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Godfather

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Re: Archer
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2012, 11:37:52 PM »
I'm sorry your authority is not recognized in fort kickass.
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wesfau2

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Re: Archer
« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2012, 09:36:55 AM »
I'm sorry your authority is not recognized in fort kickass.

You'd better call Kenny Loggins, cuz you're in the....danger zone!!
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Godfather

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Re: Archer
« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2012, 04:43:51 PM »
You'd better call Kenny Loggins, cuz you're in the....danger zone!!
Hey Lana.....DANNNNNNNGER ZONE!
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Archer
« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2012, 04:50:54 PM »
Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Godfather

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Re: Archer
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2012, 12:14:22 AM »
So what do you say Lana, would that cheer you up, maybe a little revenge anal.
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Godfather

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Re: Archer
« Reply #13 on: December 17, 2012, 11:10:12 AM »
Wow this thing might be hard to drive with a massive erection.
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Saniflush

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Re: Archer
« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2012, 11:21:19 AM »
Hm? Sorry I was picturing Whore Island.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Archer
« Reply #15 on: December 17, 2012, 11:25:30 AM »
I thought they just wanted my hair so their scientists could unlock the secret of its luxurious fullness. Touch it, Barry.

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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Godfather

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Re: Archer
« Reply #16 on: December 17, 2012, 11:26:37 AM »
Benoit


















Balls
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Archer
« Reply #17 on: December 17, 2012, 04:19:27 PM »
I bet I wont even be able to eat spaghetti and meatballs ever again. Oh god, I could eat. Not necessarily spaghetti and meatballs, but not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs. I mean I really like spaghetti and meatballs. Man, if I don't get some spaghetti and meatballs I might literally die.

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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Godfather

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Re: Archer
« Reply #18 on: December 17, 2012, 06:24:27 PM »
Hello...its the 1930's can we have our words and clothes, and shitty airplane back? Oh and watch out for that Adolf Hitler he's a bad egg.
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Saniflush

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Re: Archer
« Reply #19 on: December 18, 2012, 06:51:03 AM »
 And now I have to spend my first Friday off in forever devising some bizzare punishment for you?....So don't be surprised if you end up eating a whole bunch of... spiderwebs.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."