Thanksgiving Menus

[AUTiger1]

Should have renamed that to "Operation B and B" (Bird and Beer) was a success.  Turkey turned out delicious. 

TownHall:  I hope that yours is a success and wish you well. 

[Townhallsavoy]

I may have to put my Thanksgiving updates here.  This could get comical. 

- My phone rings at 5:30am.  It's my father.

"You need to get up."
"What?  Why?"
"You need to get the turkey ready."
"We aren't eating until 2 an...."
"Doesn't matter.  (chuckles) Look, I know you think you've 'got this' but just listen to someone who has done this many times."
"It's in a brine, Dad.  Won't take as long as a non-brined turkey."
"Whatever.  Guess we'll eat at 5 or 6." 

- Phone rings a few minutes ago. It's my mother-in-law. 

"Hey!"
"Hey!  Happy Thanksgiving!"
"Hey!  You there?"
"Hey!  Yeah I'm here.  Can you hear me?"
"Hey!  Hey!  You here?  Hello?  Helloooo?!"
"We must have a bad connection."
"Hey!  (Calls to her husband) I can hear him, but how do I know if he can hear me?"
"I can hear you!"
"Hey!  You can?"
"Yeah!"
"Sorry!  I don't know how these cordless phones work."
"You mean a cell phone?"
"Yeah.  Just got one."
"Oh ok.  What's up?"

"Well, I was wondering if you needed anything.  If we could bring anything.  Anything at all."
"No.  I think we're good."
"What are we having to drink?"
"We have a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, tea, water, and I have a few beers."
"Is the tea sweet?"
"Yeah."
"Oh."
(Silence)
"Hello?" I ask. 
"Yeah I'm here," she says. 
"Well.  We're looking forward to it!" 
"Could you make some unsweet tea?"
"Sure.  No problem."
(Conversation wraps up)

A few minutes later, my phone rings.  It's her again.

"Hey!"
"Hello?  You there?"
"I'm here.  It's a cell phone.  I can hear you."
"Hello?"
"(Sigh) Hi."
"Do you want us to bring some more wine?  We don't want you to have to open any more wine."
"No.  The only thing I forgot is eggnog.  Do you have any?"
"No.  No.  No no no.  We don't drink that stuff."
"Oh.  Ok.  Well, I gue...."
"Do you?  It's really heavy.  Are you going to be drinking it because we can bring something else for ourselves."
"No.  I don't have any, so it's no bi...."
"Is your mother making her usual dressing?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. Well.  I'll guess we'll have a little bit.  She makes it so heavy."
"Ok."
"Maybe next year I can make the dressing."
"Ok.  See you later." 

[Townhallsavoy]

More comedy:

Me - "Hey baby.  Where's the twine and meat thermometer?"
Her - "Oh I didn't get a chance to go to Bed, Bath and Beyond yesterday."
Me - "But you made it to Belk, your parents' house, and your annual Thanksgiving dinner with your high school friends?"
Her - "You could have gone."
Me - "I was going to until you said you were going right by there."

[Townhallsavoy]

Seriously...could be a episode of a sitcom. 

My wife's aunt (who is a nun) is in town from Kentucky.  What does she really want to do?  Go for a walk at the Botanical Gardens tomorrow at 2pm. 

[jmar]

Seriously...could be a episode of a sitcom. 

My wife's aunt (who is a nun) is in town from Kentucky.  What does she really want to do?  Go for a walk at the Botanical Gardens tomorrow at 2pm. 

Torturesome ain't it?

[GH2001]

The SoCo eggnog was of great success today.

[Townhallsavoy]

The tension was high when they all arrived.  Scowls.  Frowns.  Incredulity at its peak.

Then I pulled the bird from the roaster.  It sat for 30 minutes.  I carved it perfectly.  Put it out on a platter so that the pictures were nice. 

We said grace.  They began to eat the turkey.  And all was quiet for the first half of dinner.

Everything went well from then on.  It was a good Thanksgiving. 

I'm fucking tired.  Hosting Thanksgiving is hard. 

[Jumbo]

My Cajun Butter injected fried turkey was the shiznit.

[JR4AU]

My first try at pecan pie was a success.  Ok, I cheated, didn't make the pie shell.  Hit Publix the night before @ 9 pm, and find that Light Corn Syrup is like liquid gold on Thanksgiving, and sold out.  I'm forced to endure Walmart.  Literally, obtained the last bottle of Karo Light Corn Syrup in stock.   I used a few more pecans than the recipe called for, but fuck sakes, it's a PECAN PIE!  The recipe said cook 10 minutes on 400, then dial back to 350 for 35 to 40 minutes, and that you should be able to stick a knife in the center and draw it back out clean...no you fucking can't.  Got worried I fucked something up. It's really puffing up in the middle, not like any pecan pie I've ever seen, and it's not set firm.  I put a piece of foil over it, because it's getting real brown, and go 5 more minutes.  I call my mom and inquire if it will set as it cools, she says yes.  So, I pull it out, and set it on the counter, and whaddayaknow, in 10 minutes, that thing deflates, and sets firm, just like it should.  Toasty brown, nutty, sweet goodness.   It, and my sweet potato casserole were big hits.

Helping my brother with last minute prep, and my fave, giblit gravy, and I've chopped the eggs and giblits to go in it, and I hit the pantry looking for cornstarch...none.  I ask bro, "where's the corn starch"?  He says, I realized this morning I didn't have any, I'll just make a slurry using flour.  "Uh, no, you can't use raw flour the same as corn starch, you got make a roux"  Makes a quick roux, adds it, and says "it's not thickening like it should".  I say "Let it boil dumbass, it doesn't thicken til it boils".  Few minutes of simmering and we got gravy, and a damn fine meal.

It was a pretty good Thanksgiving.   

[ssgaufan]

My first try at pecan pie was a success.  Ok, I cheated, didn't make the pie shell.  Hit Publix the night before @ 9 pm, and find that Light Corn Syrup is like liquid gold on Thanksgiving, and sold out.  I'm forced to endure Walmart.  Literally, obtained the last bottle of Karo Light Corn Syrup in stock.   I used a few more pecans than the recipe called for, but fuck sakes, it's a PECAN PIE!  The recipe said cook 10 minutes on 400, then dial back to 350 for 35 to 40 minutes, and that you should be able to stick a knife in the center and draw it back out clean...no you fucking can't.  Got worried I fucked something up. It's really puffing up in the middle, not like any pecan pie I've ever seen, and it's not set firm.  I put a piece of foil over it, because it's getting real brown, and go 5 more minutes.  I call my mom and inquire if it will set as it cools, she says yes.  So, I pull it out, and set it on the counter, and whaddayaknow, in 10 minutes, that thing deflates, and sets firm, just like it should.  Toasty brown, nutty, sweet goodness.   It, and my sweet potato casserole were big hits.

Helping my brother with last minute prep, and my fave, giblit gravy, and I've chopped the eggs and giblits to go in it, and I hit the pantry looking for cornstarch...none.  I ask bro, "where's the corn starch"?  He says, I realized this morning I didn't have any, I'll just make a slurry using flour.  "Uh, no, you can't use raw flour the same as corn starch, you got make a roux"  Makes a quick roux, adds it, and says "it's not thickening like it should".  I say "Let it boil dumbass, it doesn't thicken til it boils".  Few minutes of simmering and we got gravy, and a damn fine meal.

It was a pretty good Thanksgiving.   

At least I know that I'm not the only person you call a dumbass.   

[JR4AU]

At least I know that I'm not the only person you call a dumbass.   

It's a general term of endearment.

[AU_Tiger_2000]

My first smoked turkey turned out to be a great success.  Brined for 12 hours in 1/2 gallon water, 1 qt of chicken broth, 1/2 pound salt, and 1/2 pound honey.  Smoked for 4.5 hours (14.5 pound bird).  Turned out perfect, everyone raved over how juicy it turned out.