Amazing Home Remedies

[Snaggletiger]

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the shower.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button..

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

[Jumbo]

I will try to use one of those helpful tips at least once a day!

[AuburnChopper 3.0]

I think if you fall out of an airlplane, and your parachute doesn't work, you should just go really limp, because then you might look like a dummy and someone might try to catch you because, HEY, free dummy.  :thumbsup:

[The Prowler]

 

($1 to Chopper)

[Snaggletiger]

 

($1 to Chopper)

Stored in the archives of comedy gold.

[AuburnChopper 3.0]

 

($1 to Chopper)

Gettin' Paid!  Gettin' Paid!  Gettin' Paid!   I've got more where that came from!   

[Jumbo]

Gettin' Paid!  Gettin' Paid!  Gettin' Paid!   I've got more where that came from!   

Rocks beating scissors since the 2nd grade.