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Shane sez..........5/21

JohnDeere

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Shane sez..........5/21
« on: May 22, 2008, 07:06:50 AM »
Capstone ReportNews & Commentary about Alabama athletics
(funny how 80% of his columns are about CTT and/or Auburn)
Tuberville’s mouthpiece goes underground
By Shane from Centerpoint (soon to be with the National Enquirer)
Somebody call a doctor. Auburn head football coach Tommy Tuberville is going to need one soon. First he allows Alabama coach Nick Saban to whip him so badly on the recruiting trail that he has to invent nonsensical, idiotic reasons for not wanting to recruit the best of the best players (whatever floats your boat Tommy). Now, on the media front, he is about to lose his finest “hard-fighting” soldier (this smacks of absolute envy). With the imminent departure of Phillip Marshall from the “Huntsville Times”, the Tubmeister stands to lose his right-hand propaganda man.

In the past, whenever Tuberville had a potentially negative situation develop, he could always depend on Phillip to put a positive spin on the issue. Marshall was Tommy’s best and most effective apologist among a small, closed group of newspaper journalists willing to tow the Auburn party line.

Turberville can’t be happy, while the “Jet Gate” power players – who are always sharpening their knives for the kill – must be licking their chops. In between Tommy and that vicious group stands the public perception of Tuberville as a beloved coach, revered by all who are Auburn. In charge of protecting that fragile buffer sits Marshall, who leads a group that includes Charles Goldberg and Justin Moon. It is clearly evident when you read their work that these three definitely get their marching orders from Tommy. They serve as extensions of Tuberville and usually transmit to the masses exactly what Tommy wants them to hear.

Is the top Tiger nervous? If he’s not, maybe he should be. There is no way to paint a pretty picture when losing an ally with the clout Marshall carries with the general public. It could take years for a new writer to establish the same amount of public trust that Phillip Marshall commands.

Considering the fact that Moon and Goldberg are far less effective communicators, Tubby no longer has a heavy hitter in his “inner circle” to help him with damage control. One thing is for sure – two Mickey Mouses don’t equal one King Kong.

The evidence of Marshall’s departure will begin to show the first time something happens down on the Plains and Tuberville wants to control the overall perception of that incident. Without Phillip to rely upon Tommy’s version of the event may not be taken as seriously as before, when Marshall practically served as his public relation’s spokesman.

Who knows? Maybe Tubs has someone in mind to replace Marshall. If he does, will the new guy be willing to sell out and follow the party plan? Will Tubby and Phillip’s replacement become joined at the hip? When all is said and done, the potentially negative aspects of the deal might far outweigh the positives.

It has been speculated that Mr. Marshall is going to take his talents to the Internet. He is set to write for an ESPN affiliation called Auburn Undercover. This move by Marshall indicates that he is aware of the ever-increasing popularity of the new sports medium. It also serves to permanently link Marshall to Auburn. Apparently ESPN hired him because they feel he is entirely pro-Auburn. It has been rumored for years that Phillip Marshall is an Aubie homer. This latest move should remove all doubt.

Will Marshall have the same impact in the electronic media as he enjoyed through traditional methods? Better yet, does his former and possible future commander, Tommy Tuberville, even own a computer?

Most coaches would admit that it pays to have a high-ranking friend in the press. This guy was Tubby’s red-necked version of a team spokesman.

From all indications this latest move by Marshall has to be making a conservative control freak like Tuberville nervous. The Internet is not structured or regulated like the print media, which could create all kinds of potential problems for Tommy when he tries to get his message to the masses.



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BLS

Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2008, 08:50:37 AM »
It's 99% AU related. The title is definitely misleading.
What's funny is, according to alot of AU fans, you guys didn't have any ''homers'' in the media.

I don't think TT losing one of his homers is going to effect anything. Whoever replaces him will be a bammer homer the first straigh forward article he writes.  :taunt:
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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2008, 09:39:11 AM »
Wow... you posted a Shane article. He is a total moron, you can do better than this.
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Roll Tide Bitch!

wesfau2

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2008, 09:43:52 AM »
Wow... you posted a Shane article. He is a total moron, you can do better than this.

It's good to remind yourself occasionally that there are mouth-breathers of this caliber feeding this swill to the crimson-necked masses.  Those masses eat it up, believe every word, and beg for more.

Know your enemy. 
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

AWK

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2008, 09:46:46 AM »
This man needs therapy.
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Saniflush

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2008, 10:11:04 AM »
Shane  + Media outlet =
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2008, 11:24:11 AM »
Ass Clown of epic proportions.

Speaking of Finebaum, from whence Shane came, I turned him on the other day and he was interviewing Joe Theisman at the golf tournament.  Not that I care all that much about Theisman, it was just that Finebaum was talking about something other than Nick Saban.  I was blown away.  Didn't think it was possible. 

Then I turned him on a couple of days later and he's got Mike Gottfried on and I'm tthinkin' this is some kind of trend and maybe Finebaum is actually trying to run a real sports talk show and not "An afternoon with the Mullet Nation."

Until I relaized he was talking to Gottfried about how Nick Saban really is a genius in the way he plays the crowds..blah, blah, blah.

Click
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

BLS

Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2008, 11:56:23 AM »
Ass Clown of epic proportions.

Speaking of Finebaum, from whence Shane came, I turned him on the other day and he was interviewing Joe Theisman at the golf tournament.  Not that I care all that much about Theisman, it was just that Finebaum was talking about something other than Nick Saban.  I was blown away.  Didn't think it was possible. 

Then I turned him on a couple of days later and he's got Mike Gottfried on and I'm tthinkin' this is some kind of trend and maybe Finebaum is actually trying to run a real sports talk show and not "An afternoon with the Mullet Nation."

Until I relaized he was talking to Gottfried about how Nick Saban really is a genius in the way he plays the crowds..blah, blah, blah.

Click


 :rofl:
Damn dude your first mistake was turning finebomb on. That bald bastard is  nothing more than a babbling turd. I can't wait for the day that he is never heard from again.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2008, 12:52:58 PM »

 :rofl:
Damn dude your first mistake was turning finebomb on. That bald bastard is  nothing more than a babbling turd. I can't wait for the day that he is never heard from again.
That day was over a year ago in my vehicle.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

AUChizad

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #9 on: May 22, 2008, 01:09:25 PM »
So Shane's "Tuberville better watch out cause the Tide is Turning" columns now include the Auburn beat writer leaving his newspaper?
Well shit! How are we ever going to win a game now???
By the way, yes our beat writer, by definition, is a homer for our team. The bamerham news bias we bitch about extends beyond just the bammer beat writers.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #10 on: May 22, 2008, 02:22:50 PM »
So Shane's "Tuberville better watch out cause the Tide is Turning" columns now include the Auburn beat writer leaving his newspaper?
Well shit! How are we ever going to win a game now???
By the way, yes our beat writer, by definition, is a homer for our team. The bamerham news bias we bitch about extends beyond just the bammer beat writers.
Shane is, in fact, admitting that PM was the only Auburn homer in the state media.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

AWK

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #11 on: May 22, 2008, 03:08:01 PM »
Shane is, in fact, admitting that PM was the only Auburn homer in the state media.
and he acts as If Phillip Marshal led a propaganda campaign up to par with the SS in Germany...Bless his poor soul. 
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Jumbo

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #12 on: May 23, 2008, 02:56:25 AM »
That day was over a year ago in my vehicle.
Show-off.
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You'll never shine if you don't glow.

Tiger Six

Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #13 on: May 24, 2008, 11:01:31 AM »
It's good to remind yourself occasionally that there are mouth-breathers of this caliber feeding this swill to the crimson-necked masses.  Those masses eat it up, believe every word, and beg for more.

Know your enemy. 

Keep your friends close.  And your enemies closer. 

Shane is a sad case.  He finally has a purpose in his life since Finebaum gives him a voice.  I imagine that he was a nerdy kid in high school that got his ass beat by the chess team, debate team, cheerleaders, and Glee Club as well as the FFA, FHA, 4-H and SGA.  He was probably the person on which Adam Sandler's "Water Boy" is based. 

Then, upon getting his Certificate of Attendance from Huffman High, he went to work for the local ice manufacturer, where he has been ever since and has moved up to the rank of "salesman".  He married some skank that was older than him and he's not able to go buy a pack of cigarettes without running into 9 guys that have fucked her.

Don't get mad at him.  Without Finebaum, he'd be nothing, lower than a snake's ass in a waon rut.  Paul has given this wretched piece of shit a voice, a meaning in his life.  Without Paul and his outlet, Shane would probably have turned to a life of crime by now, knocking over convenience stores for a package of Huggies and whatever cash the clerk had in the drawer. 
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wesfau

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #14 on: May 25, 2008, 11:40:03 AM »
Without Paul and his outlet, Shane would probably have turned to a life of crime by now, knocking over convenience stores for a package of Huggies and whatever cash the clerk had in the drawer. 

Son, you got a panty on your head.
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Life can really kick your ass.  I only have a vague recollection of when it wasn't kickin' mine.

Buzz Killington

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #15 on: May 27, 2008, 09:10:44 AM »
Son, you got a panty on your head.
And make it quick, I'm in dutch with the wife.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

War Eagle!!!

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #16 on: May 28, 2008, 11:17:10 AM »
Nice post Pale Rider!!! But, why don't you like salesmen???

I chortled at this...

He married some skank that was older than him and he's not able to go buy a pack of cigarettes without running into 9 guys that have fucked her.
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wesfau2

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #17 on: May 28, 2008, 01:13:28 PM »
Every time I read the title of this thread, I hear Perry Farrell in my head.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

AUChizad

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Re: Shane sez..........5/21
« Reply #18 on: May 28, 2008, 01:18:43 PM »
Every time I read the title of this thread, I hear Perry Farrell in my head.
Shane says, I'm done with Saban-O. He treats me like a ragdoll.
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