A wife that finally gets it.

[Saniflush]

Looks about right.

[AUChizad]

Why can't I find chicks like that?
That would actually make me consider settling down.

[GarMan]

Why can't I find chicks like that?

They only exist in fairy tales. 

[Jumbo]

They only exist in fairy tales. 

You speak the truth!

[Thrilla]

They only exist in fairy tales. 

That's why she has no ring on.

It should really stand for

Whining
Interrogating (mostly on weekends after I hang out with male friends)
Falling Asleep (instead of having sex)
Eschewing (mostly blowjobs, but there are other things)

[Tiger Six]

That's why she has no ring on.

I see a ring on that finger.  Not only are you short, you're blind, too. 

[Ranger12]

Its a trick shirt because of the "etc" part. She is just making you think she is the coolest wife ever, but the "etc" part is where she will swipe the rug out from underneath your feet. That "ect" includes things like nagging, mood swings, that "time of the month", ridiculous jealousy over any other woman you may ever acknowledge that breathes if they are not a family member (especially during the aforementioned mood swings), never making a decision where to eat out but flat letting you know when you choose the wrong place, $100 haircuts, $30 nails, loaded questions such as "do Iook fat in this?" and.....well you ge the point.

But I am just going by what others tell me about their wives, because I am happily married to the love of my life and have no complaints in the world.

<is she still looking over my shoulder?>

[Ogre]

Its a trick shirt because of the "etc" part. She is just making you think she is the coolest wife ever, but the "etc" part is where she will swipe the rug out from underneath your feet. That "ect" includes things like nagging, mood swings, that "time of the month", ridiculous jealousy over any other woman you may ever acknowledge that breathes if they are not a family member (especially during the aforementioned mood swings), never making a decision where to eat out but flat letting you know when you choose the wrong place, $100 haircuts, $30 nails, loaded questions such as "do Iook fat in this?" and.....well you ge the point.

But I am just going by what others tell me about their wives, because I am happily married to the love of my life and have no complaints in the world.

<is she still looking over my shoulder?>

Have you been hanging out with my wife by chance?  You just described her to a T.

[Jumbo]

Have you been hanging out with my wife by chance?  You just described her to a T.

Must be a handbook, kept in a Coach purse of course.