Apparently, These Are Going Out to HS Coaches

[AWK]

First sentence of the letter:

HUGE ROAD WIN FOR OUR INEXPERIENCED TIGERS!!!!!!

All caps?  Excessive abuse of exclamation points?  Was this written by an excited teenager?  Where is the professional etiquette? 

That's my point, act like you have been there before.  It appears very unprofessional.

[AWK]

I tell you what, I know you guys have your own business. Do this:

-Build a database of all clients and potential clients.
-When something good happens to your business, or something good happens to your business, send out a marketing e-mail or letter.
-Use the database to send out birthday and Christmas cards.
-Send out a monthly notice talking about things that are happening in the tax world or whatever.
-Watch your business grow
-Pay War Eagle!!! on residual commission based on that growth.

We do this, but we do it through our website and other avenues.  And we don't have the first sentence say:

OUR INEXPERIENCED ATTORNEYS ACTUALLY HELPED RELIEVE A CLIENT OF TAX DEBT!!!!!

[JR4AU]

First sentence of the letter:

All caps?  Excessive abuse of exclamation points?  Was this written by an excited teenager?  Where is the professional etiquette? 

That's my point, act like you have been there before.  It appears very unprofessional.

That is the target demographic.  Big difference in who they're targeting with this vs. your tax clients.

[AUChizad]

First of all, this is not completely innovative. Schools do shit like this all the time.

But what I think is obvious to most people not named RWS, is that this is basically saying we've got a young and inexperienced team, if recruits come here, they can be a part of this young team right away. The team that won that trophy Fairley's holding down there on the left just last year.

Didn't expect this thread to get one response, much less spark debate.

[AWK]

That is the target demographic.  Big difference in who they're targeting with this vs. your tax clients.

Maybe, but weren't these sent to the High School coaches, not the players?

[JR4AU]

Maybe, but weren't these sent to the High School coaches, not the players?

You don't like it.  Nothing I say will change that.  Thankfully it doesn't make one shit what you think.

[Townhallsavoy]

You don't like it.  Nothing I say will change that.  Thankfully it doesn't make one shit what you think.

What he thinks actually did make one shit their pants. 

[Vandy Vol]

Maybe, but weren't these sent to the High School coaches, not the players?

Indeed.  And even if the letters had been sent to the players, they're teenage dudes, not teenage Valley girls who are excited about their first successful blow job.

"OMG!!!!  I FIT THE WHOLE THING IN MY MOUTH WITHOUT PUKING OR ANYTHING!!!"

Show me a high school dude who types in caps and utilizes multiple exclamation marks, and I will show you a dude who will jerk you off under the high school bleachers.

Aside from that, it was a grammatical train wreck.  The third sentence was a rambling mess of a run-on that was probably produced by Rain Man.

Does it achieve the result of keeping the school's program fresh on your mind?  Sure, but can't you do that in a more professional manner?  Why send out something that can be viewed by some as embarrassingly shitty?  Your goal in recruiting is to attract as many schools, coaches, and players as possible; doing anything that may turn off even just a few does not help you achieve that goal.

If you're going to do a letter like this, do it right.  Don't let your water/towel/reach-around girl who's in a sorority write a steaming pile of shit for you and slap your signature on it.

[JR4AU]

I'd bet the coaches and players thst see this letter aren't overthinking it near a as much as some here.

[AWK]

What he thinks actually did make one shit their pants.

He knows.  Some call it a curse, I call it a gift.

[Vandy Vol]

I'd bet the coaches and players thst see this letter aren't overthinking it near a as much as some here.

Most probably don't.  But there are those who would.  My high school coach is one of those who would take into account the quality of the letter.

In the grand scheme of things, this letter isn't going to prevent players from going to Auburn.  But you also have to consider that this letter is not going to cause players to go to Auburn either.  By itself, it's relatively insignificant, but that still doesn't excuse making a half-assed attempt.

My only gripe is with the lackadaisical approach that resulted in a letter of poor quality.  You can argue that the letter keeps Auburn in the minds of these schools, their players, and their coaches, but what if the letter leaves a negative impression?  Visiting a recruit also keeps your program on his mind, but if you show up knowing nothing about the kid and you speak like a bumbling buffoon, then it's going to leave a bad memory.

My opinion on the letter, and on any recruiting matter, is that if you're going to bother doing it, then do it right.  Don't just assume that coaches and players will overlook your lack of professionalism and grammatical abilities.  Don't just assume that all of the pretty awards on the colorful letterhead will distract them from your childlike prose.  Don't just assume that sending them feces in a box with an Auburn logo on it will keep your program fresh on their minds.

Make every impression count.

[The Prowler]

Most probably don't.  But there are those who would.  My high school coach is one of those who would take into account the quality of the letter.

In the grand scheme of things, this letter isn't going to prevent players from going to Auburn.  But you also have to consider that this letter is not going to cause players to go to Auburn either.  By itself, it's relatively insignificant, but that still doesn't excuse making a half-assed attempt.

My only gripe is with the lackadaisical approach that resulted in a letter of poor quality.  You can argue that the letter keeps Auburn in the minds of these schools, their players, and their coaches, but what if the letter leaves a negative impression?  Visiting a recruit also keeps your program on his mind, but if you show up knowing nothing about the kid and you speak like a bumbling buffoon, then it's going to leave a bad memory.

My opinion on the letter, and on any recruiting matter, is that if you're going to bother doing it, then do it right.  Don't just assume that coaches and players will overlook your lack of professionalism and grammatical abilities.  Don't just assume that all of the pretty awards on the colorful letterhead will distract them from your childlike prose.  Don't just assume that sending them feces in a box with an Auburn logo on it will keep your program fresh on their minds.

Make every impression count.

These are going out to High Schools in Alabama, no one gives a shit about grammatical errors.

[Vandy Vol]

These are going out to High Schools in Alabama, no one gives a shit about grammatical errors.

True...maybe they should have written it in crayon and included references to sexual relations with family members.

[Buzz Killington]

True...maybe they should have written it in crayon and included references to sexual relations with family members.

HEY COARCHES!!! THAT GIRL CAN FIT A WHOLE COCK IN HER MOUTH!!!  SEND YOUR KIDS TO US!!!

[Snaggletiger]

True...maybe they should have written it in crayon and included references to sexual relations with family members.

Works for the Tahd

[JR4AU]

Most probably don't.  But there are those who would.  My high school coach is one of those who would take into account the quality of the letter.

In the grand scheme of things, this letter isn't going to prevent players from going to Auburn.  But you also have to consider that this letter is not going to cause players to go to Auburn either.  By itself, it's relatively insignificant, but that still doesn't excuse making a half-assed attempt.

My only gripe is with the lackadaisical approach that resulted in a letter of poor quality.  You can argue that the letter keeps Auburn in the minds of these schools, their players, and their coaches, but what if the letter leaves a negative impression?  Visiting a recruit also keeps your program on his mind, but if you show up knowing nothing about the kid and you speak like a bumbling buffoon, then it's going to leave a bad memory.

My opinion on the letter, and on any recruiting matter, is that if you're going to bother doing it, then do it right.  Don't just assume that coaches and players will overlook your lack of professionalism and grammatical abilities.  Don't just assume that all of the pretty awards on the colorful letterhead will distract them from your childlike prose.  Don't just assume that sending them feces in a box with an Auburn logo on it will keep your program fresh on their minds.

Make every impression count.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Saniflush]

My high school coach is one of those who would take into account the quality of the letter.

I doubt they are sending them to the flag corps.

[Vandy Vol]

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

You probably should have typed that as, "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!"

It shows enthusiasm and keeps your comment fresh on my mind.

[Vandy Vol]

I doubt they are sending them to the flag corps.

Flag corps?  No, I only shoved flag poles in my asshole.  Despite that fetish, I never joined the flag corps.

[AUJarhead]

HEY COARCHES!!! THAT GIRL CAN FIT A WHOLE COCK IN HER MOUTH!!!  SEND YOUR KIDS TO US!!!

Buzz = Brooks?