Funniest Thing I Heard From A Corndog

[AUChizad]

Last night, I went out with a buddy from work to watch the games.

The A&M thing came up.

He was 100% dead serious when he said the following.

"You know, I've heard that the reason they're bringing in A&M and only A&M is because they need a team to replace Auburn after they get the death penalty, so the SEC can stay at 12 teams."

I literally guffawed in his face.

[GH2001]

Last night, I went out with a buddy from work to watch the games.

The A&M thing came up.

He was 100% dead serious when he said the following.

"You know, I've heard that the reason they're bringing in A&M and only A&M is because they need a team to replace Auburn after they get the death penalty, so the SEC can stay at 12 teams."

I literally guffawed in his face.

This is a buddy?

[AUChizad]

This is a buddy?

If I limited my "buddies" down here to Auburn fans, I'd be emo.

[djsimp]

This is a buddy?

Remember where he is GH.

[Godfather]

I literally guffawed in his face.

Weird but I have a vivid picture of you doing this...and with the beard.  You rock! Stay strong!

[GH2001]

Remember where he is GH.

I know that much.

There is just no way I could spend more than 5 mins with someone who has that moronic mentality, no matter what team they are a fan of. Might as well be a caller to Finebaum.

[JR4AU]

I know that much.

There is just no way I could spend more than 5 mins with someone who has that moronic mentality, no matter what team they are a fan of. Might as well be a caller to Finebaum.

Yeah, seriously.  I'm almost hard pressed to believe that there's anybody that is gainfully employed at any rate higher than Mickey D's fry apprentice that actually believes that shit. 

[Saniflush]

Weird but I have a vivid picture of you doing this...and with the beard.  You rock! Stay strong!

Yes.  Stay golden Ponyboy.

[Snaggletiger]

Yes.  Stay golden Ponyboy.

Let's do it for Johnny, man.  Let's do it for Johnny.

[AUChizad]

It's just an accepted fact here that Auburn is dirty as shit.

I've risked my reputation as a sane rational individual in their eyes on several occasions by speaking up against people who just casually mention all our "NCAA troubles". They look at me like a space alien when I say that I 100% do not believe Auburn paid Cam Newton $180,000. When I say that they have been probed and prodded to an unbelievable extreme, and nothing has come up. That Cecil & Auburn have both turned over financial records before this even came up in the public forum. That every pathetic Bama fan with a forum has claimed to have iron clad "proof", and then every single time they fail to deliver it when it comes to crunch time. How everyone in the world wants to have that dirt, but no one can produce it. That the only reason it's even being discussed is because Cecil entertained the idea from an MSU booster. And then turned him down. Like it's impossible for him to have declined it because he forsaw this type of scrutiny should he accept it. Like no one would pick Auburn over Mississippi fucking State to play football, unless they were paid.

They just look at me the whole time like I was telling them I like to masturbate with my own feces. Horrified by my pure insanity. When I'm done ranting they just go "Sure man. Sure." Just so I'll shut up.

Also, the guy last night brought up the 7-3 game. Said it's commonly referred to as "Grand Theft Auburn". They're still not over it. Tried to bring up specifics to tell my why they were robbed. I told him, "Dude it was 5 years ago. I don't even remember what you're talking about."

[Godfather]

It's just an accepted fact here that Auburn is dirty as shit.

I've risked my reputation as a sane rational individual in their eyes on several occasions by speaking up against people who just casually mention all our "NCAA troubles". They look at me like a space alien when I say that I 100% do not believe Auburn paid Cam Newton $180,000. When I say that they have been probed and prodded to an unbelievable extreme, and nothing has come up. That Cecil & Auburn have both turned over financial records before this even came up in the public forum. That every pathetic Bama fan with a forum has claimed to have iron clad "proof", and then every single time they fail to deliver it when it comes to crunch time. How everyone in the world wants to have that dirt, but no one can produce it. That the only reason it's even being discussed is because Cecil entertained the idea from an MSU booster. And then turned him down. Like it's impossible for him to have declined it because he forsaw this type of scrutiny should he accept it. Like no one would pick Auburn over Mississippi fucking State to play football, unless they were paid.

They just look at me the whole time like I was telling them I like to masturbate with my own feces. Horrified by my pure insanity. When I'm done ranting they just go "Sure man. Sure." Just so I'll shut up.

Also, the guy last night brought up the 7-3 game. Said it's commonly referred to as "Grand Theft Auburn". They're still not over it. Tried to bring up specifics to tell my why they were robbed. I told him, "Dude it was 5 years ago. I don't even remember what you're talking about."

You like to masturbate with your own feces?

[Saniflush]

It's just an accepted fact here that Auburn is dirty as shit.

I've risked my reputation as a sane rational individual in their eyes on several occasions by speaking up against people who just casually mention all our "NCAA troubles". They look at me like a space alien when I say that I 100% do not believe Auburn paid Cam Newton $180,000. When I say that they have been probed and prodded to an unbelievable extreme, and nothing has come up. That Cecil & Auburn have both turned over financial records before this even came up in the public forum. That every pathetic Bama fan with a forum has claimed to have iron clad "proof", and then every single time they fail to deliver it when it comes to crunch time. How everyone in the world wants to have that dirt, but no one can produce it. That the only reason it's even being discussed is because Cecil entertained the idea from an MSU booster. And then turned him down. Like it's impossible for him to have declined it because he forsaw this type of scrutiny should he accept it. Like no one would pick Auburn over Mississippi fucking State to play football, unless they were paid.

They just look at me the whole time like I was telling them I like to masturbate with my own feces. Horrified by my pure insanity. When I'm done ranting they just go "Sure man. Sure." Just so I'll shut up.

Also, the guy last night brought up the 7-3 game. Said it's commonly referred to as "Grand Theft Auburn". They're still not over it. Tried to bring up specifics to tell my why they were robbed. I told him, "Dude it was 5 years ago. I don't even remember what you're talking about."

Now it's a party.

[Snaggletiger]

Grand Theft Auburn?  They want to bring up shit from years ago? Ask them about a little whistle that came from their student section that resulted in an Auburn safety.  The ref in the 04' game made a judgment call...that turned out to be right.  Their fans actually cheated that ass off to help cost Auburn the game.

 

[AWK]

It's just an accepted fact here that Auburn is dirty as shit.

I've risked my reputation as a sane rational individual in their eyes on several occasions by speaking up against people who just casually mention all our "NCAA troubles". They look at me like a space alien when I say that I 100% do not believe Auburn paid Cam Newton $180,000. When I say that they have been probed and prodded to an unbelievable extreme, and nothing has come up. That Cecil & Auburn have both turned over financial records before this even came up in the public forum. That every pathetic Bama fan with a forum has claimed to have iron clad "proof", and then every single time they fail to deliver it when it comes to crunch time. How everyone in the world wants to have that dirt, but no one can produce it. That the only reason it's even being discussed is because Cecil entertained the idea from an MSU booster. And then turned him down. Like it's impossible for him to have declined it because he forsaw this type of scrutiny should he accept it. Like no one would pick Auburn over Mississippi fucking State to play football, unless they were paid.

They just look at me the whole time like I was telling them I like to masturbate with my own feces. Horrified by my pure insanity. When I'm done ranting they just go "Sure man. Sure." Just so I'll shut up.

Also, the guy last night brought up the 7-3 game. Said it's commonly referred to as "Grand Theft Auburn". They're still not over it. Tried to bring up specifics to tell my why they were robbed. I told him, "Dude it was 5 years ago. I don't even remember what you're talking about."

Sounds like 1. You need to choose better friends and 2. That guy is a douche.

Just reference this every time they discuss football:

[Hogwally]

     On the Arkansas board someone stated they heard an Austin radio station reporting that the Big 9 was in negotiations with Arkansas to replace aTm.  Kind of a 3rd hand rumor, but easily the funniest thing I've heard.

[War Eagle!!!]

Grand Theft Auburn?  They want to bring up shit from years ago? Ask them about a little whistle that came from their student section that resulted in an Auburn safety.  The ref in the 04' game made a judgment call...that turned out to be right.  Their fans actually cheated that ass off to help cost Auburn the game.

Wrong game. That was the 10-9 game. The 7-3 game was the one where the cried that Auburn got away with a pass interference no-call that would have set them up as a first in goal from inside the 10 yard line with a couple minutes left.

Same conclusion though. Fuck those excuse making mother fuckers.

[Snaggletiger]

Wrong game. That was the 10-9 game. The 7-3 game was the one where the cried that Auburn got away with a pass interference no-call that would have set them up as a first in goal from inside the 10 yard line with a couple minutes left.

Same conclusion though. Fuck those excuse making mother fuckers.

Yep, right play, wrong game.  Guess I picked the wrong week to stop smoking marijuana.