Since it's story time:
Two days ago I am driving home from work and notice an old rusted Jeep Wrangler blocking the street. Attached to the hitch is a white rope that is immediately angled towards the sky. I follow the rope up to the mid point of a tall tree which is next to a house.
This house and the one next to it sit on a steep hill that is around 15 yards towards the street. In front of one house are two large oak trees. In front of the other is a well landscaped yard with flowers, bushes, and other decor to make the steep hill aesthetically pleasing.
The tree with the rope attached stands between the two houses.
There is maybe six feet between an oak tree and the landscaping.
The jeep moves out of my way, and I notice the driver is a younger guy with shaggy, dirty black hair and a halfway grown in mustache. He has thick eyebrows which aren't furrowed, but his eyes are squinting hard causing pencil marked wrinkles around his eyes.
He has a cigarette hanging from his lip as his mouth gapes open. Just for Kaos - His shirt? Crimson with an A on the front.
I enter my house and watch from my window as three guys attempt to cut down this tree.
One man, an older man, has no shirt on. He's wearing jorts which are riding low, and his white briefs are exposed. He is leathery like an old football. His hair is white enough to miss, but it's wild to the point that you can't.
The third man is a tiny young hispanic man with spiky hair and a blue shirt that runs past his shorts. He is standing on the house's front porch smoking a cigarette.
I see my neighbor's seven year old daughter take her beagle to the front yard. It relieves itself. And I hear this:
"You don't fucking listen!"
The older man is screaming at the top of his lungs. He punches the jeep and walks up the hill through the landscape.
"God damnit! You fucking spics don't fucking listen!"
The two younger guys don't say anything. They don't flinch. They don't wince. They don't look annoyed. They don't do anything but smoke their cigarettes.
"You fucking lazy shits go ahead and smooooooookkkkkkkeeee yer fuuuuuuccckkkkkkin' cigarettes. God damn fucking shit."
The older man jumps up and grabs the rope. He pulls on it and starts swinging back and forth. He lets out a loud "whheeee!!!!" and laughs.
The young guys still don't budge.
The old man brings a chainsaw to the tree with a death sentence. He tries to cut into the tree, but something jams.
"God damnit! I told you fucking morons. You fucking morons. Fucking both of you. Fucking morons. I done told you that you can't tie the rope on a tree like a that. It won't work."
Another vehicle tries to pass by.
"Move out the fucking way you fucking shit head."
This went on for two hours. Chainsaw for ten to fifteen minutes. Then cussing and screaming.
Finally, just in the nick of time, I catch the final act.
The young Alabama shirt-guy has started helping the old man. The hispanic is still smoking a cigarette on the porch.
The tree gets cut right to the point it needs to be to fall.
The young guy sprints towards the jeep which is still in the middle of the road unmanned.
He slips. Rolls down the hill.
"You fell! A hee hee a hee hee a hee hee! You fell like a motherfucker!"
The young sparse-mustache guy regains his footing and jumps in the jeep. He floors it.
The jeep pulls the tree down effortlessly.
Big problem. He was too far to the right!
"You fucking Gawt-Dayum idiot!"
The tree spun towards the right. Literally pulled a one hundred and eighty degree turn. Bounced off the house next door (the one not paying for the tree to be cut down) and smashed into the landscaped yard.
The jeep exerted enough force to pull the tree down the hill scraping away bushes, flowers, and decorations of this landscaped yard.
It looks like a tornado touched down across the street.
"Well fucking shit, you dumb bitch. We have to clean this shit up now."
Two hours later, it's 8pm. I'm taking my dog for a walk, and I walk past these guys cutting up this tree and making a pile of debris for the junk pickup to get in the morning.
I nod and say hello.
The old man responds, "You've got some ni--er neighbors over here. Fucking ni--er neighbors gettin' pissed about their fucking yard. Fuck them!"
I wanted to give them a piece of my mind, but I didn't think they could handle it. They probably would have reacted the same way a rabid animal would if I tried to reason with it.
And that's why I hate people.
26 Replies
2877 Views