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Alshon Fattery

Alshon Fattery
« on: July 29, 2011, 06:13:38 PM »
I saw this on a different site earlier and thought it was photoshopped or a joke.  Turns out, it's real.

Ladies and gents, the best receiver in the SEC:

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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2011, 06:15:00 PM »
Comparison's sake:

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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

AWK

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2011, 06:19:39 PM »
Ehhh, I don't buy it.
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Tiger Wench

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2011, 08:28:55 PM »
Come on y'all. He and Stephen just had a bad case of the munchies.
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Pell City Tiger

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2011, 09:06:28 PM »
Looks like his off season workout was heavy on sprints to teh baked taters and fried poultry line at the Golden Corral.

If he gets the ball, it'll take our entire secondary to take him down. A word of advice to Ted Roof; look for short routes & curl patterns when this one is on the field. He won't be doing too many fly patterns unless he hits Jenny Craig between now & September.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

djsimp

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2011, 12:21:00 AM »
Clearly this is no Yox diet.
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JR4AU

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2011, 09:26:57 AM »
I saw this on a different site earlier and thought it was photoshopped or a joke.  Turns out, it's real.

Ladies and gents, the best receiver in the SEC:



Don't know when that was taken.  If it's current, he's clearly not worked hard in the off season.  But, I'm betting he could easily take it off during camp.
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Saniflush

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2011, 07:32:42 AM »
FUCK YEAH! 
The McRib must be back.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #8 on: August 01, 2011, 08:58:45 AM »
They're payin' for it; You eat it! Ready! Exercise!
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Saniflush

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #9 on: August 01, 2011, 09:57:49 AM »
They're payin' for it; You eat it! Ready! Exercise!

He's a disgusting fatbody drill sergeant.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

GH2001

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #10 on: August 01, 2011, 09:59:54 AM »
He's a disgusting fatbody drill sergeant.

Is that your donut Private Pile?
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WDE

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #11 on: August 01, 2011, 02:53:30 PM »
Is that you, John Wayne?  Is this me?
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Saniflush

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #12 on: August 01, 2011, 02:59:13 PM »
Animal is a fine human being. All he needs is someone to throw hand grenades at him the rest of his life.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Godfather

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #13 on: August 01, 2011, 03:03:38 PM »
 :yallfu:
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djsimp

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #14 on: August 01, 2011, 03:07:34 PM »
My thoughts drift back to erect nipple wet dreams about Mary Jane Rottencrotch and the Great Homecoming Fuck Fantasy.
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GH2001

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #15 on: August 01, 2011, 03:58:03 PM »
Is that you, John Wayne?  Is this me?

Oh, we have a funny man. Private Joker.
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WDE

Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #16 on: August 01, 2011, 05:44:39 PM »
Oh, we have a funny man. Private Joker.

None of you dumbasses knows.
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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #17 on: August 01, 2011, 05:45:29 PM »
It was pretty far!  From that book suppository!
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You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him: "That's a girl's name!" Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.

GH2001

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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #18 on: August 02, 2011, 01:53:06 PM »
None of you dumbasses knows.

I'll pt you all til you die!
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Re: Alshon Fattery
« Reply #19 on: August 02, 2011, 01:54:10 PM »
I'll pt you all til you die!

I'll PT you all until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.