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Countdown to Football

AWK

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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #60 on: July 05, 2011, 05:13:29 PM »
61 Days

I can't wait. 

61 Days.
Do we have to pay you for this?
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #61 on: July 05, 2011, 05:26:51 PM »
Do we have to pay you for this?

apparently, the teacher was busy on a holiday. 
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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #62 on: July 05, 2011, 05:31:05 PM »
60 Days

In 16 days, we will begin hearing three days worth of coach-speak that will be nitpicked and critiqued. 

Here's a preview of what you may hear on the SEC West side:

Nick Saban - "This is the 5th year in my 5 year program.  Do you know how talented my teams are during my 5th year?  Every position on this squad is loaded.  Every coaching spot is well trained.  The secretaries know the intricate details of the process.  The fans have expectations through the roof and rightfully so.  Just look at my 5th year at LSU.  Do you know how perfect that team was?  All it takes is one person to screw it up, and I dare you to name that one person that can screw this up."

Gene Chizik - "This is it.  We're all in with faith and family.  Families go through rough times and good times.  Sometimes you don't even know what to expect at the family dinner.  Sometimes it's good with BBQ pork or grilled shrimp.  Sometimes it's pot roast.  But either way, your grandma's cooking it and your grandfather's saying the family prayer before the meal.  Which is why it's good.  Faith.  Family.  All in.  All the time."

Bobby Petrino - "We're going to throw the ball.  We're going to run it some.  We're going to play half assed defense.  What the hell else do you expect from me after all of these years?"

Les Miles - "The grass is going to be a bit green this year, but that's okay because we have the soil to grow into a special vine capable of producing special fruit.  Two seeds fell in the road.  One was trampled upon while the other was cultivated naturally by Mother Earth.  We are the trampled upon.  But we also have a friend in Mother Earth, and we have communion with her to ensure her good graces." 

Houston Nutt - "The the the the quarterback thing was you know not all that it was cracked up to be.  Masoli was kind of like ravioli ya know?  Filled with good stuff but soft and slimy on the outside.  We'll get that fixed.  We've got the special kids on our team.  It'll be just fine.  Just fine."

Dan Mullen - "We were 'this' close last year.  And we're putting it together.  I'll tell you what, if we could have just landed a few more recruits in the last class, I'd guarantee an undefeated season.  But considering, we're going to have to work hard for what we earn this year.  But that undefeated season was so close.  'This' close.  My book will be out soon. It'll explain everything." 

60 Days
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Tiger Wench

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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #63 on: July 05, 2011, 05:48:39 PM »
Les Miles always uses the word "quality".  ALWAYS.  A quality player.  A quality opponent.  A quality team. 

Always.
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GH2001

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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #64 on: July 06, 2011, 10:16:06 AM »
 :bugs:  at Nutt and Miles.
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WDE

AUChizad

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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #65 on: July 06, 2011, 10:25:55 AM »
I'm officially sick of all of the "experts" saying we aren't going to be able to field a team this year.

It's pretty consistant accross the board from these guys that we will be lucky to end up bowl eligible to get the BBVA Compass bowl in Birmingham...

What the bleeding fuck is wrong with these guys?

I'm not saying we're going to be in National Championship contention at the end of the year. Literally no one is.

But the more I hear we're not going to be a top fucking 50 team, the more I think we actually may make some noise this year.

There is not one other topic that I can think of in which the media in general is more consistantly wrong than they are about Auburn football. No one gave last year's team a fart in the wind's chance to finish even third in the SEC West. John Brantley was set to light the world on fire at UF, and in the same breath, Cam Newton was unproven and probably woudln't be the 8th or 9th best QB in the SEC. And not just last year. Chizik's first year was supposed to be right in line with the 3-9 or 2-10 from his previous two seasons at Iowa State.

I'm starting to come back around to the "old Auburn" mentality of wanting to "fly under the radar". Every single time we're not given a snowball's chance in hell end up being our greatest years. It's as consistant as the weather. Keep telling me we have zero chance.
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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #66 on: July 06, 2011, 11:26:10 AM »
59 Days

15 days until SEC media days.  Here's the SEC East:

Will Muschamp - "No, I'm not going to get the 'boom' going like I did as a coordinator.  I'll have to be a bit more calm.  But don't worry.  I'll still have excitement.  I mean, when a defensive end sheds his block and blind sides the quarterback breaking his collar bone, I might let out a little - 'boom!' - when it happens.  You know, when the linebacker fills the hole and clobbers a running back into the ground on 3rd and 1, I'll probably let out a - (bangs fist on table) 'Boom!!'  When the cornerback blankets the receiver and then turns his hips just in time to pick it off and claim that ball as his, I'll (punches his own head) 'BOOM!!!' one good time.  When the strong safety dives head first into the facemask of a crossing receiver, I'll, uh, uh, well BOOM MOTHERFUCKER YOU FUCKING KNOCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER OUT!  Anyways, about the offense.  Um, I guess we'll have one.  I don't really care."

Mark Richt - "We'll try to beat Auburn, Georgia Tech, and Florida.  Will that be enough?  How are we going to do it?  Well, a vanilla pro style offense that lets the quarterback make good decisions on the play action pass that's been set up by the run.  Defense?  I guess we'll have one." 

Joker Phillips - "'Kentucky football?'  Was that a joke?  Oh you were just joking because my name's Joker, right?  You probably have something to say about how we're really just a basketball school and how Calamari is getting paid $40 million and how I'm paid hourly.  Is that it?  What did you say then?  Yeah.  Repeat your question to me.  Repeat it slowly, and I'll repeat it back to you slowly just to make sure we're on the same page.  'How-is-the-football team-looking-this-year-at-Kentucky?'  You did it again, didn't ya?  Kentucky football.  You making a joke?"

Steve Spurrier - "Well, you know Garcia's a good athlete, but he's just going to have to make better decisions.  The guys around him get it done.  I'm getting it done.  Lattimore, special player, real special player.  It's just on Garcia.  If he comes through, we'll have a pretty good squad.  How's Tennessee doing this year?  Is this their year?  Oh really?  Oh that's too bad."

Derek Dooley - "It's operation Vols Freedom.  Volunteer Storm.  SEC War III.  And I'm the general.  If the other schools are going to use biological warfare (cough)Miles, I can't help that.  We aren't going to battle that way.  Hey did you all know my last name's Dooley?"

James Franklin - "It's a cyclical process to which we aspire to effectuate.  The efficacy of our program relies on the will and determination of our constituents.  The Southeastern Conference has bestowed the divine right of kings to some of its members.  We hope to join those who are sacerdotal - what is it you ask of me?  Why do I speak this way as a football coach?  We sellin' Vandy as the Stanford of tha South now, ya hear?  You seen my recruiting rankins as of right now?  Tell me how my ass tastes.  Tell me.  You can't cuz you too short, right chump?  You punk ass...Anyways.  As I ponder the existence of man...."

59 Days
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #67 on: July 08, 2011, 07:59:11 AM »
58 Days

Watch Lists. 

What exactly is the criteria for making these lists of players to watch in terms of winning awards? 

Last year's experience?

Or is it just hype? 

And why would we not wait until the 2011 season has started to start discussing awards for best performances of the 2011 season? 

But if we must get the hype train going, allow me to provide a few more players to watch in 2011. 

Craig Sanders - Rumors are that he's pushing 280 pounds.  What was once considered a cast-off recruit by Alabama, Sanders made a serious impact on the national championship team as a kickoff specialists.  He was known for delivering big hits after sprinting down the field shedding blockers like they were nothing.  That was 30 pounds ago.  Sanders has tremendous speed for a big guy, and if he's really up to that weight, he should be pivotal in stopping the run. 

Dee Ford - Speed.  Pure speed from a smaller defensive end who has also bulked up since arriving on campus.  He was unblockable in the A-Day game on third downs, and he'll vastly improve our pass rush.  While Sanders's size may anchor the run defense, Ford's speed may be an X factor in the pass defense.

Onterio McCalebb - Speaking of X factors, O-Mac is the unsung hero of Auburn's offensive production.  Blanketed by the highlight reels of Cam Newton and Michael Dyer, McCalebb went on to set an Auburn record for yards per carry (min 75 carries) at 8.5 yards every time he touched the ball.  810 yards rushing along with 8 touchdowns came behind Cam Newton's gaudy numbers along with Dyer's numbers that broke Bo Jackson's record.  He was crucial in victories against Miss State (led team in rushing), Arkansas (99 yard kickoff return), LSU (134 total yards including 70 yard game winning touchdown run), Ole Miss (68 yard touchdown run to take lead), and Georgia (3 touchdowns).  Combine his rushing ability with the fact that he is pure lightning on kickoff returns, and this guy should be on every watch list out there. 

58 days.
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #68 on: July 08, 2011, 08:19:05 AM »
57 Days

"Imagine Auburn hadn't won the BCS championship last year.  Imagine you just missed it by one loss.  No one would even be talking about Auburn going into this year.  You can tell by your opening schedule.  All 11am games.  Because everyone knows that Auburn was a fluke last year, and this year, Chizik's real coaching abilities will be exposed." 

You've most likely heard or said something similar. 

It's funny how every college football season has two sets of results.  The first is the result of the offseason.  The second is the result of the second season.

I think Auburn has lost the offseason predictions every year now since 2004.  In 2003, Auburn was given all the hype but failed to capitalize on what they had. 

Perhaps our penitence is to be critiqued and scoffed at every offseason. 

Prior to 2004, we were going to be no better than 2003.  We still had Jason Campbell.  We still lacked identity on offense.  We had a 8-9 win coach in Tuberville.  We weren't recruiting well.  But we went 14-0. 

Prior to 2005, we lost too much talent to compete.  We would be on a downward spiral because Tuberville used up his one good year.  We went 9-3.  And we came very close to going 10-1 in the regular season except for a tough overtime loss to @LSU. 

Prior to 2007, we were once again nobodies.  No one to really care about.  No one to scare.  Inexperience was all over the field, and our quarterback was half blind (literally).  We most likely would rely on on a true freshman QB by the end of the season.  Our running backs were inexperienced.  Our defense was young.  Saban had come to town.  And yet, despite a rough start, we went on to compete rather well in the SEC including a last second loss to eventual national champions LSU. 

Prior to 2009, we had a 5-19 coach.  No talent.  No hope.  No motivation.  We were coming off of a 5-7 embarrassment and a laughable coaching search.  The team shouldn't even try.  We had the worst quarterback in the league.  We had a dysfunctional offensive line.  We had everything you didn't want when attempting to at least be competitive in the SEC.  And yet, we went 8-5.  Some may scoff at my positive opinion of this season since we lost 5 SEC games.  But we were mostly competitive.  Considering the predictions were for Auburn to be sucked into a black hole, I'd say things went rather well for Coach Chizik and the Auburn family. 

2010 is well documented.  Low expectations from the nation.  Big results from the team. 

So, does Auburn like the spotlight or not? 

I'd say not.  At least not when going into the season. 

We like to lose the offseason.  Our summer time record is 0-8. 

And what a great way to start the fall by going 3-0 in the morning when very few are watching.  When very few will know that their summer time predictions failed. 

57 Days.
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AUChizad

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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #69 on: July 08, 2011, 08:30:49 AM »
 :aubie: :we: :aunc:
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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #70 on: July 09, 2011, 10:48:39 AM »
56 Days

Counting down to football is a long, dry, frustrating process. 

One stint of excitement is quickly squashed when you realize there's almost two months worth of 100 degree temperatures left. 

Speaking of difficult stretches of time, have you seen Auburn's schedule for October? 

@South Carolina
@Arkansas
Florida
@LSU
Ole Miss

That may be the toughest 5 game stretch in the entire country.  Although, we don't really know yet as all five of those teams could be terrible this year. 

But nonetheless, the fact that 3/4 games will involve travelling makes matters very difficult for Auburn. 

How has Auburn faired in similar stretches of torture in recent history?

In 2005, Auburn faced the following October/November with no bye weeks involved:

@Arkansas
@LSU
Ole Miss
@Kentucky
@Georgia
Alabama

Auburn's record through that stint?  5-1.

In 2007, Auburn faced this in late September/October with no bye weeks involved:

@Florida
Vanderbilt
@Arkansas
@LSU
Ole Miss

Auburn's record through that gauntlet?  4-1.  (Remember how young that offensive line was?)

I'm not saying October will be no big deal.  On preseason paper, it looks much more difficult than those previous schedules. 

But let's not act like it's a nail in Auburn's coffin this season. 

56 Days
« Last Edit: July 09, 2011, 10:52:48 AM by Townhallsavoy »
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Jumbo

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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #71 on: July 09, 2011, 02:05:07 PM »
Great job Townhall... #winning
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You'll never shine if you don't glow.

Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #72 on: July 10, 2011, 11:19:39 AM »
55 Days

Bulldozers. 

That's what they are. 

Bulldozers. 

Auburn will face the following running backs in the 2011 season:

Vick Ballard (220 pounds)
Trent Richardson (225 pounds)
Marcus Lattimore (220 pounds)
Kniles Davis (220 pounds)
Spencer Ware (230 pounds)

These running backs pose a dangerous combination of size, strength, and speed.  Their ability to push the pile is uncanny, and it takes a tremendous effort to bring them down. 

Physicality is crucial when attempting to stop these guys from plowing through the line and gaining extra yards. 

The best defense against these iron-clad behemoths is to put heavy muscle in their way and stop their momentum giving the quicker guys a chance to wrap them up and bring them down. 

Stuffing the middle with pounds is your only defense. 

No one knows for sure the exact weight needed to stop a 225 pound freight train, but hopefully these guys provide enough to anchor the line of scrimmage:

Ken Carter 6'5 300
Jeff Whitaker 6'3 315
Jamar Travis 6'0 300
Angelo Blackson 6'5 300
Gabe Wright 6'3 280
Nosa Egua 6'2 260
Craig Sanders 6'4 280

Bulldozers - big uglies plowing the line of scrimmage and bowling over anything weighing less than 250. 

55 Days.
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #73 on: July 11, 2011, 11:44:57 AM »
54 Days

Let's give the opposition an inch. 

They say, "Gene Chizik is a 5-19 coach.  He just got lucky with Cam Newton and Nick Fairly." 

Gene Chizik is 22-5 as Auburn's football coach. 

To give you an idea of how that ranks among Auburn's best coaches in their first two years:

1.  Terry Bowden 20-1-1
2.  Pay Dye 14-9
3.  Tommy Tuberville 14-10
4.  Shug Jordan 7-13

Bonus points to Chizik for winning the SEC and national championships within two years of being hired. 

The bigger and more important question concerning college coaches is how do they do building a program? 

We see Terry Bowden dominated the scene as soon as he arrived.  He went undefeated his first year as a coach, and for all we know, he could have won the national championship that year as well. 

But his career faltered.  He went on to lose 4 games each his 3rd and 4th seasons, and his career spiraled into a shadowy graveyard of an embarrassing departure and a 3-8 season finished out by an assistant coach. 

Pat Dye's first two seasons were highly respectable.  He broke Auburn out of Alabama's stronghold. 

But it was what Dye did later that was most remarkable. 

Pat Dye took Auburn from middle of the pack/Alabama's easy rival to numerous SEC championships and top rankings each season. 

Tommy Tuberville was similar.  He started slower than Terry Bowden, but he too led Auburn to an undefeated season and an SEC championship. 

Ralph Shug Jordan had the least reputable start, but he went on to win a national championship and posted multiple undefeated seasons. 

So who is Gene Chizik? 

The doubters say Chizik is a 5-19 coach.  They could say he's another Terry Bowden.  Auburn fans will vehemently disagree by pointing to Cam's Heisman, Fairley's Lombardi, and a football made of crystal sponsored by Sears. 

In Chizik's first two full recruiting seasons, he has had 1 recruit not qualify.  This is quickly becoming his team.  His players.  His philosophy. 

It's obvious what he is able to do with dominant players.  But in terms of running a program? 

We're going to find out this season.

54 Days. 
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #74 on: July 12, 2011, 09:33:24 PM »
53 Days

While the sweat drips down your face and drops to the ground beneath you, open up your imagination. 

Close your eyes.  Clear your head.  Do away with any sounds around you. 

Ignore the suffocation you're feeling in your nose. 

Picture green grass, deep blue sky.  70 degree temperature.  The smell of hickory permeating the air.  The soft sounds of voices in the distance.  The sight of people adorned in orange and blue colors mingling with close family and friends.

The TV is airing the beginning of College Gameday.  You grimace but then a sentimental smile overwhelms as you wait for the first discussion. 

Suddenly it hits you.  A breeze.  A soft breeze that's cold to the touch.  You begin to tear up...

And you wake back up.  Back into the heat.  The pale blue sky.  The hazy cloud cover.  The sweat ring around your neck.  The worn out eye lids tired of squinting. 

Don't forget your daydream.

53 Days.
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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #75 on: July 12, 2011, 09:42:49 PM »
53 Days

While the sweat drips down your face and drops to the ground beneath you, open up your imagination. 

Close your eyes.  Clear your head.  Do away with any sounds around you. 

Ignore the suffocation you're feeling in your nose. 

Picture green grass, deep blue sky.  70 degree temperature.  The smell of hickory permeating the air.  The soft sounds of voices in the distance.  The sight of people adorned in orange and blue colors mingling with close family and friends.

The TV is airing the beginning of College Gameday.  You grimace but then a sentimental smile overwhelms as you wait for the first discussion. 

Suddenly it hits you.  A breeze.  A soft breeze that's cold to the touch.  You begin to tear up...

And you wake back up.  Back into the heat.  The pale blue sky.  The hazy cloud cover.  The sweat ring around your neck.  The worn out eye lids tired of squinting. 

Don't forget your daydream.

53 Days.

I waited all day for that bullshit?  Tomorrow's better be early. 
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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #76 on: July 12, 2011, 10:25:09 PM »
I waited all day for that bullshit?  Tomorrow's better be early.

Hey!  Even Jay Leno has an off night!  Cut me some slack here!
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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #77 on: July 12, 2011, 11:35:46 PM »
Hey!  Even Jay Leno has an off night!  Cut me some slack here!

Actually I thought that was the best one yet. With SEC Media days just around the corner, I think the emphasizes what all CFB fans are thinking right now.
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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #78 on: July 13, 2011, 12:31:08 AM »
Actually I thought that was the best one yet. With SEC Media days just around the corner, I think the emphasizes what all CFB fans are thinking right now.

 :bar:
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Re: Countdown to Football
« Reply #79 on: July 13, 2011, 10:11:42 AM »
52 Days

"Run it!  Run it!  Hurry!  Run it!  Run it!  Now!  Run it!" 

The alarm clock chirps its first call.  It's 5:30 in the early morning, and the sun has yet to show its face. 

He would usually want to stay in bed.  That's how he felt years ago when he still living in his parents' house attending grade school.  He was the superstar then.  Every morning was the start of another humdrum day of being the big man on campus.  The most athletic kid on the teams of multiple sports.  Another normal day of success in the classroom and praise from his elders. 

But that was then.  That was all usual. 

Now, things are peculiar.  At 5:30, he feels the incessant need to hurry. 

To sprint out of bed and dominate everything in his way.  He opens doors much more fervently.  He brushes his teeth in half the time it took as a kid, yet he is twice as efficient.  He prepares a nutritious breakfast faster than it once took to pour a bowl of Lucky Charms. 

He is dressed and ready to go within 15 minutes. 

And he feels like he could improve his morning routine to be ready in 10 minutes. 

He knows he has to hurry.  The dream had told him so. 

As he turns to lock his apartment door, he faintly hears in the distance the same voice scream, "Run it!"

He winces, but he hurries. 

His ride is already waiting for him.

"Come on, man.  We've got to get there soon, or Coach is going to hammer us!" his ride says. 

He tosses his small bag in the back, and the car is moving before he's closed the door. 

It's a three minute drive to the complex.  Five minutes if you're a freshman.  Seven minutes for normal students. 

The two in the car are both silent, but they know what each other is thinking.

"It's possible to get there in two minutes.  Our plan is flawed.  Our efficiency is pathetic."

But they don't speak it.  They know complaints are reserved for the laymen. 

He looks out at the campus.  It's still.  The leaves are still lost in some reverie of youth.  The squirrels have yet to emerge from their nests.  The ground is covered in peaceful tranquility.  A distant professor is seen sipping coffee, meandering towards his office in the large building. 

He doesn't envy them.  If they had come out into the world before he did, they would be more efficient.  They would be faster.  They would have first access to the world, and the spoils would be theirs.

"Step on it," he says faintly. 

They've timed the red lights at this hour.  They know they don't have to stop before the second red light because it always changes. 

He could have gone anywhere in the country for his education.  He chose this place.  This quaint town tucked into the corner of Alabama.  This village of youth eager to learn.  Eager to participate.  Eager to socialize. 

Is eagerness efficient?  He decides that it's not.  He cannot be eager to learn if it is already learned.  He cannot participate if he is the game.  He doesn't have time to socialize.

He could have gone anywhere.  Would it have been different? 

Would it have been different if he had appreciated the bayou more?  He wonders what he would be doing at 5:48am if he had gone there.  He knows that he wouldn't know much about his playbook.  They have a brand new offensive coordinator.  Not knowing and eager to learn.  Inefficiency at its best. 

Would it have been different if he had respect for the old time classics?  What would he be doing right now if he were passing Chimes in place of Hall?  He knows he wouldn't be in much of a hurry.  He could take his time.  He could wait for the opposition to tire.  But he isn't eager to participate.  He isn't wanting to end the wait for the play to begin.  He is the play.  It starts with him.  And it starts immediately. 

What would life be like in the rolling hills of The Natural State?  Would he be wondering who he is fighting for?  Would he really know his coach?  Do they even trust him to be around tomorrow?

There's no time here to wonder.  He's committed a penalty just pondering the possibilities. 

There's no time to ponder because he already knows. 

And since he already knows exactly what's expected of him, he knows to do it quickly.  Efficiently.  Perfectly. 

If he doesn't, he knows there are numerous guys around him that will.  He's no longer a big man on campus.  No longer the star of the team.  He's simply another gift to be appreciated by the general. 

The car stops. 

Without thinking and what seems to be one swift movement, he grabs his bag, exits the car, walks 19.5 steps, swings the door open, veers left at a 47 degree angle, walks down the steps skipping every other one, turns at a 90 degree angle to his left, enters the locker room, walks by two locker rows before approaching his own, precisely spins the lock to the exact numbers, opens the door and tosses in his bag, closes the locker as he is walking away from it, walks 16 steps into the weight room, glances at the workout board without breaking stride, and hits the bench as soon as the whistle blows. 

As he pushes the bar away from his chest, he thinks about how he could possibly be more efficient.  How he would do it differently. 

But the thoughts are stifled as he realizes there's no time for thinking.  He just has to "Run it!" 

52 Days.
« Last Edit: July 13, 2011, 10:21:28 AM by Townhallsavoy »
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole