But PAAAWWWWLLL, I SEEN it!

[AWK]

The tard nation will be over momentarily to poison the hedges in front of that building.

You heartless fuckers.

You've got too much Auburn in you.

[Ogre]

I was in Thailand, playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang. I was in a real high-stakes game in some opium den. Turned out the guys I was playing aren't the kind of guys who like to lose. After I beat them... they beat me. Worked me over pretty good. And this is hard to say... but they held me down... and they shoved a ping pong paddle up my ass. It's never been the same. I'm damaged goods.

Ah geeze Barry! I don't know what I'd do if someone shoved a paddle-handle up my ass!

[Kaos]

The Day Bear Died
By Kaos


I was working at a clothing store the day Bear died.  Was helping a female clerk set up a display.  She was in a skirt.  Standing on a ladder.  Tan legs up to there. 

I was looking. At her legs.  At her panties. At the cup of her ass peeking out.  She knew I was looking.  She moved one leg to a higher rung so I got an even better shot. 

We had been skating around the edges and now before my eyes was confirmation.  That cooter was mine. 

Over the radio came the news of his death.  She burst into tears.  I giggled. She was mortified.  I snickered. 

No cooter.

Thanks bear, you cockblocker from the grave.

[The Prowler]

The funny thing about SPuat's "urban myths"...is that they aren't myths.  The only thing mythical, regarding SPuat, is their claim of 13 Championships...that's something that they started (burned just about all evidence that points out the facts).  But I've still got a '83 guide, biotches.

[CCTAU]

Ah geeze Barry! I don't know what I'd do if someone shoved a paddle-handle up my ass!

It wasn't the handle! I've been shitting pancakes ever since!