You guys are going to love this shit...
I was at my favorite bar in Decatur last night. It's called Twain's Billiards & Tap. I go there frequently to drink their microbrews and play that addictive sand shuffleboard game.
We were minding our own business when we overhear some people talking about how Jimmy Carter is eating in the restaurant area. I go over to look, and sure enough, there he is, in attendance for a birthday party as it appeared that there was lots of family there (about 16 at the table).
He looks old, and very, very tired. You couldn't go close to him as there were 3 secret service guys in the restaurant, with 2 more out front. They were very obvious and imposing.
About 30 minutes after I made this discovery, I had to break the seal. I walk in the bathroom, and was a little too buzzed to realize the secret service guy was standing by the entrance door. As I pull up to my urinal, I realize that I'm about to take a piss next to a former president.
Thrilla: "Well hi there, sir! Never thought I'd meet you in this fashion".
Carter: "Well, everybody has to use the bathroom sooner or later" (or something to that effect, again, I was buzzed and it was a little surreal)
Thrilla: "Glad to see you're back safe from your trip. A lot of folks I know didn't think it would go off as easy as it did".
Carter: "Well, we accomplished what we set out for. <ZZZIP> Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to this birthday party I'm here for."
Thrilla: "Have a good night, sir."
Carter: "You too, son. You're a fine American" (No shit, he said that)
L-M-F-A-O! I know some of you will rip me for being so cordial to him, but I couldn't really find the time to get into World Politics while having my dick in my hand. He left about 30 minutes after that through the kitchen door, which (I assume) leads to the super-secret back exit.
I then proceeded to get shitfaced.