OK, so what would YOU have said?

[Tiger Wench]

I am mostly on board with the complaints abotu our Presidential "I"-atollah, but here's a question.

What would you have said?

I pretty much agree with this blogger:

The talking heads are starting to piss me off, especially the folks at Der Spiegel, so I thought I would write something up.

The text below is what I would have said during the press conference on Sunday, May 1st, 2011 (if I had been President):

Good evening my fellow Americans. I am pleased to report that Osama Bin Laden has been shot dead by operators from the U.S. military's Special Ops community. This address to the nation was scheduled to provide details of the operation in the interest of transparency.

We are all well aware of the atrocities committed against American citizens at the direction of this terrorist mastermind. There is no need to re-hash those details tonight. As a direct result of intelligence gathered by interrogations of terrorists captured during the war on terror by the previous administration, The Unites States has brought this heinous affront to humanity to justice. This administration continued the investigation of these bits of information, refining the details until we were able to determine the location of our suspect with a certainty of seventy-five percent.

The Central Intelligence Agency presented this information in a series of meetings and I made the decision to hand the mission over to our very capable Spec Ops branch of the military. War-fighters from this elite community planned, practiced and executed this important mission flawlessly as members of my cabinet and White House staff watched via video link-up.

The criminal Bin Laden was tracked to a compound in Abbottobad, Pakistan.

(Note: I was thinking it might be cool to insert a joke here about the possibility of finding the second-in-command, al Zawahiri, in any town called Costelloabad. What do you think?)

At approximately 3:30 P.M. eastern time our special operations contingent struck at the heart of al Qaeda by assaulting that compound. After a brief firefight they located the suspect on the third floor of the main building. The suspect was asked very nicely if he would willingly accompany the infiltration team to the ex-filtration helicopters. The suspect, although unarmed at the time, indicated he would not comply without resistance. As a result, he was shot at least once in the head which resulted in the immediate end of life. After nearly forty minutes spent securing and searching the scene for evidence, the special operations crew boarded their transport helicopters, with the body of the mass murderer in tow, and traveled back to their operational base in Afghanistan.

A large amount of intelligence was recovered from the compound and will be thoroughly examined by the CIA. The body of the terrorist was flown to a U.S. Navy aircraft carrier. Photographs and video were used to document the body and these items will be released to the American public in due time. Although we weren't required to do so, the body was treated with deference in regard to Islamic funereal tradition. I would have preferred to wrap the body in bacon and display it on a pike at the front gate to the White House, but the American people are above these baser instincts. While we know the Muslims would not, and have not, afforded the same measure of respect to their victims, Americans have usually been known for choosing the high road in such matters.

We all know we couldn't win in the opinion of Muslims, no matter how we handled the body. The decision was made to bury the body at sea in order to prevent the perpetuation of an Islamic shrine wherever this criminal may have been buried. A sea burial prevents the establishment of such a site.

Politicians and members of the media from around the world will spend the next few weeks dissecting this operation. In the interest of short-circuiting much of the speculation I will provide the following details.

The assault on the compound was planned and executed without the assistance of the Pakistani government. This was done due to the fact that many elements of that government have proven they cannot be trusted. I tell you now, loudly and clearly, we will continue to chase these criminals no matter where they are discovered.

As President Bush once said, "Either you are with us or you are a terrorist." Many countries have spoken out regarding 'American arrogance' and I will take this opportunity to put them on notice. Think what you will, but America will continue its' vigorous pursuit of mass murderers and terrorists. Any country who takes issue with this endeavor should take a long, hard look at their financial issues and the results of the loss of the billions of dollars in aid provided the world over by the United States of America.

The velvet glove of diplomacy has been proven ineffective in dealing with those intent on holy war. This country will no longer engage in useless displays that are viewed by jihadis as signs of weakness. These animals understand one thing and one thing only - the swift, efficient, and brutal application of deadly force.

Suffice it to say, if the United States or her allies are attacked, we will hunt the criminals, we will find them and we will deliver justice. If that justice comes at the tip of a bullet, then so be it. We are nothing if not determined and our self-declared enemies should keep such determination in mind. We are also a patient people and will hunt our attackers to the end of the earth, no matter how long the hunt takes. Those who harbor or provide aid and comfort to these enemies should also keep these facts in mind.

This operation was officially classified as a 'capture or kill' exercise. In the interest of honesty I will tell the American people I am pleased at the finality of the outcome. Now we can move on to targeting the rest of the command structure of al Qaeda. I would advise those individuals to renounce the organization and turn themselves in. If we have to look for you, rest assured you will face a similar fate. Your stone age aggression will no longer be tolerated.

As the various phases of this operation are declassified, more details will be released. Every American citizen can be assured their government is taking every possible measure to protect them at home and abroad.

Thank you for your time. I am now going to retire to my quarters and have a beer. Please celebrate responsibly. Good night.

[Kaos]

That's better.

Except the part about the beer. 

[Townhallsavoy]

As stated before:

[AUJarhead]

Leading from the front, to me anyway, means taking all of the shit when it doesn't go as planned, and not taking any of the credit when it's perfect, instead giving it to the people working for you.  In this case, the cooperation between the CIA, NSA, and the Military.  Particularly the unnamed SEAL team, as well as the HUMINT gatherers.

[Saniflush]

Leading from the front, to me anyway, means taking all of the shit when it doesn't go as planned, and not taking any of the credit when it's perfect, instead giving it to the people working for you.  In this case, the cooperation between the CIA, NSA, and the Military.  Particularly the unnamed SEAL team, as well as the HUMINT gatherers.

You did learn something in Hollywood.

[AUJarhead]

You did learn something in Hollywood.

We also learned that PI is full of Fourth Battalion nasties.

[Saniflush]

We also learned that PI is full of Fourth Battalion nasties.

Mary Jane rotten crotch even.

[AUJarhead]

Mary Jane rotten crotch even.

Jody got some while you were on the Island?

[Saniflush]

Jody got some while you were on the Island?

More than I will ever know. 

Funny thing as you well know is that the one thing they don't tell you while fucking with you about Jody, is when you go back home you will get more strange than you could ever dream of.  The ten days/two weeks I was home after boot camp I was hitting shit wouldn't give me the time of day 3 months earlier.

[AUJarhead]

More than I will ever know. 

Funny thing as you well know is that the one thing they don't tell you while fucking with you about Jody, is when you go back home you will get more strange than you could ever dream of.  The ten days/two weeks I was home after boot camp I was hitting shit wouldn't give me the time of day 3 months earlier.

Chicks dig Dress Blues.  Any excuse I had to wear them, I'd put them on.

[Saniflush]

Chicks dig Dress Blues.  Any excuse I had to wear them, I'd put them on.

and drink for free.  Hell even in civi's I could break out the marine ID on anyone and get served no matter where I was or who was carding me.

[Saniflush]

The reason we are/have successful are because of people like general Petraeus. 

[AUJarhead]

The reason we are/have successful are because of people like general Petraeus.

I said Monday morning that I thought he was going to come out of this the best.  Goes to Iraq and unfucks that place.  Goes to Afghanistan, and 6 months later, Bin Laden is dead.

[dallaswareagle]

and drink for free.  Hell even in civi's I could break out the marine ID on anyone and get served no matter where I was or who was carding me.

I was on recruiting duty (Texas) 1991 my buddies and I went out late one night (had been working) in uniform. You would have thought we stepped off a plane just back from the desert, did not buy one beer that night. 

Being told thank you for your service makes those long days of being away and training worthwhile.

[Saniflush]

Being told thank you for your service makes those long days of being away and training worthwhile.

So does all the pussy.

[Godfather]

So does all the pussy.

Not to mention the collards

[dallaswareagle]

So does all the pussy.

Females: If we could not put them in the Army, we put some Army in'em.

Ugly ones we sent to the Marines.

[AUJarhead]

Females: If we could not put them in the Army, we put some Army in'em.

Ugly ones we sent to the Marines.

They say in the Marine Corps,
The women are mighty fine!,
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein!,
UA, I wanna go,
But they won't let me go,
home, I wanna go home.

[ssgaufan]

They say in the Marine Corps,
The women are mighty fine!,
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein!,
UA, I wanna go,
But they won't let me go,
home, I wanna go home.

So we're singing cadence now?  The Air Force is home to the hot chicks of the military.

[dallaswareagle]

So we're singing cadence now?  The Air Force is home to the hot chicks of the military.

No, they were just less Lesibian than the other branches. But they were hotter.

I always loved when we traveled and we stay at Air Force bases. Best chow, best NCO's clubs. Fuck What didn't I join the Air Force?