Updyke attacked

[djsimp]

This sorry sack of shit is even worse off in the head than I originally thought. That is saying a lot.

[AUChizad]

Harvey Updyke:

[Saniflush]

I'm not even going to go down the road of jokes that present themselves over this whole situation....let me just state these things....

1) So you have a cut above your right eye but yet you did not see anything.  No other contusions just this cut above your eye.  Well if this is true then one must assume that the turd was hit with the yellawood above the eye.  And he saw nothing?  I understand that i have been a bit hypersensitive to my surroundings after being in the corps but even the most lackadaisical person in the world will realize/remember when they are about to be assaulted from the front.  Especially someone trained in law enforcement.

2) So you are a good Samaritan concerned about what you just saw happen.  This poor man has been assaulted and is blacked out on the ground. You grab you cell phone, and dial not 911 but the CBS affiliate in Montgomery?  I know when I have seen other people in trouble my first instinct is to call a television station. 

This is a setup to high heaven.

[Townhallsavoy]

So, is Pawwww Fuckhead still going with the "Updyke was attacked by the Auburn people" storyline, or did he realize that they can't keep their story straight and that everyone with half a brain can see right through their bullshit story, so he's going to bail?

I've said it before, I'll say it again, something big is about to go down regarding SPuat...they can't get their next Auburn hit story out quick enough.  I think if I type Story one more time I'm going to stab a Updyke in the face.

Paul is skeptical.  I listened the last 25 minutes of the show, and he was definitely starting to admit it was fishy. 

Though he was more critical of the Montgomery news people than Updyke or his lawyer.

[AUJarhead]

Especially someone trained in law enforcement.

I had totally forgotten about that part of it.

[AUChizad]

2) So you are a good Samaritan concerned about what you just saw happen.  This poor man has been assaulted and is blacked out on the ground. You grab you cell phone, and dial not 911 but the CBS affiliate in Montgomery?  I know when I have seen other people in trouble my first instinct is to call a television station. 

This is a setup to high heaven.

Let alone, you see a man in a pile on the ground and you automatically know "Oh that's Harvey Updyke. Obviously, he was stabbed. Better call the Montgomery News about this."

I also doubt that anyone recognized him with enough confidence to assault him with a 2x4. Sure his mugshot was widely circulated, but he's a very average looking guy. I would guess that less than 25% of the general public could pick him out of a lineup, let Aline see him pumping gas and know it was him.

[djsimp]

Let alone, you see a man in a pile on the ground and you automatically know "Oh that's Harvey Updyke. Obviously, he was stabbed. Better call the Montgomery News about this."

I also doubt that anyone recognized him with enough confidence to assault him with a 2x4. Sure his mugshot was widely circulated, but he's a very average looking guy. I would guess that less than 25% of the general public could pick him out of a lineup, let Aline see him pumping gas and know it was him.

No shit. Lets see, some Auburn fan that was crazed enough to do this just so happened to be at the same gas station at the same time with a stick of wood to swing across Updikes head. No one saw it, no video evidence, and he (Updike) was knocked out so cold that he saw nothing but was able to drive himself to the ER. Not to mention all the ER did was wipe him up and send him on his way; or was it he got tired of sitting there and he just left. Which is it? Wow, any moron to believe this shit needs to be slapped with the back hand.

[JR4AU]

This is a pretty ham handed attempt at a set up, or he was actually assaulted.  But, like bammers, I'm going to convert what I believe in my heart in to cold hard facts.  He faked this shit!   Did Threat put him up to it?  Maybe, but I'd think it would have come off better if he had.  I think Harvey is so pathetically stupid, that he did this.  Did he have help?  Who the fuck knows?  I'm even betting that he had planned to actually stab himself superficially, but chickened out.  Harvey may have even made the call himself BEFORE he did what he did. 

All of the above will now be converted to fact, and shouted repeatedly as such. 

[AUChizad]

http://www.al.com/sports/index.ssf/2011/04/hot_corner_alleged_attack_coul.html

Hot Corner: Alleged attack could give Harvey Updyke sympathy
Published: Thursday, April 21, 2011, 8:15 AM
  By John Reimer

Harvey Updyke. (AP Photo)
Wednesday's reported attack on Harvey Updyke, if verified, could actually be a good thing for the Alabama fan who is accused of poisoning the iconic oak trees of Toomer's Corner in Auburn.
Updyke has already been tried and convicted in the court of public opinion. He is the butt of jokes and his alleged actions underline the word stupid in stupid criminal.
But Updyke is due his day in court. And that process began Tuesday with a preliminary hearing. Soon afterward, Updyke was allegedly attacked at an Opelika gas station parking lot. And the injuries he claims to have sustained were serious enough that he was examined in an emergency room.
If the reported attack is substantiated, it is helpful to Updyke as he tries to rebuild his image as that of a sympathetic figure. Previously, Updyke's attorney, Glennon Threatt, was busily trying to portray his client as a feeble older gentleman who has health problems.
For a man who spent weeks as public enemy No. 1 in Alabama, nothing would do more for his image than to shift the focus from reviled clown to sympathetic figure who was attacked for his sins.
This could turn out to help in finding a jury that would rule in his favor if his case goes to trial.

So basically, this lawyer, who has previously been trying to paint Auburn as an unsafe place for his client in attempt to change a venue, also has been trying to gain sympathy for Harvey by "portraying his client as a feeble older gentleman who has health problems."

So no one sees the motive in him getting him to do this?

Also, the eye witness at the gas station is somehow less credible than the second hand witness, that being his lawyer and the CBS chick, who didn't see the attack?

[Townhallsavoy]

After reviewing my Facebook last night, I've realized that there are a contingency of Alabama fans who think Updyke is a victim and Auburn is treating him unfairly. 

John Reimer seems to be another one of those.

[GH2001]

http://www.al.com/sports/index.ssf/2011/04/hot_corner_alleged_attack_coul.html
So basically, this lawyer, who has previously been trying to paint Auburn as an unsafe place for his client in attempt to change a venue, also has been trying to gain sympathy for Harvey by "portraying his client as a feeble older gentleman who has health problems."

So no one sees the motive in him getting him to do this?

Also, the eye witness at the gas station is somehow less credible than the second hand witness, that being his lawyer and the CBS chick, who didn't see the attack?

We're talking about a lawyer here who defended one of the biggest crooks of our generation. Dude is scum of the scum. Worse than OJ's team.

[AUChizad]

http://www2.oanow.com/news/2011/apr/20/19/updyke-waives-hearing-toomers-tree-poisoning-case-ar-1742050/

[AUChizad]

http://www.sportsbybrooks.com/main-media-stage-story-behind-updykes-attack-29646

[AUTiger1]

http://www.sportsbybrooks.com/main-media-stage-story-behind-updykes-attack-29646

SBB wrote something that wasn't an AU bash fest?   Wow.  Oh, I just got a little chill.  Is it getting cold?