The OFFICIAL 2011 MLB Bitch & Moan Thread

Tiger Wench · « **on:** March 31, 2011, 11:22:05 AM »

It's Opening Day 2011, and I have already pretty much written off the season.

EVEN IF I could recognize the names of more than three players on Houston's team.

EVEN IF our DL was not longer than our starting roster.

EVEN IF half of our team wasn't below the legal drinking age.

EVEN IF the other half of our team wasn't eligible for Social Security or gastric bypass or both.

EVEN IF I was able to pick out Houston's manager from a three man line up where the other two people were Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell.

EVEN IF all of the above were true...

There is no way the SKG** are going to let me have the Saints win a Super Bowl, Auburn win a national championship, and the Suckasstros... well... NOT suck ass in three consecutive calendar years.

The Suckasstros are fucked. And so are my plans to actually enjoy a baseball season for the first time since Biggio hung up his spikes.

But at least I am not a Fucking Redbird or a Goldam Cubbie.

So I got that going for me.

Somebody pour me a stiff drink.

It's Opening Day.

** SKG = the Sporting Karma Gods, who are the primary governing body and highest authority in the world of Karma. The FKG and the BKG are two of the divisional branches.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #1 on:** March 31, 2011, 11:30:18 AM »

At least learn to spell your hero's name correctly.

two G's

What the hell is an Astro anyway? I hated that fucking dog. Just a Scooby Doo wannabee.

AUTiger1 · « **Reply #2 on:** March 31, 2011, 11:35:02 AM »

Prediciton - The O's..................will still be shitty, not as shitty as normal, I think Buck will do ok, but will still be shitty none the less.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #3 on:** March 31, 2011, 11:45:52 AM »

Quote from: Buzz Killington on March 31, 2011, 11:30:18 AM

At least learn to spell your hero's name correctly.

two G's.

Baggy is my hero. But I appreciate the edit. Asshole.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #4 on:** March 31, 2011, 11:51:43 AM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on March 31, 2011, 11:45:52 AM

Baggy is my hero. But I appreciate the edit. Asshole.

moonshine apple pie, baby.

GH2001 · « **Reply #5 on:** March 31, 2011, 12:04:42 PM »

The good thing is, Houston is pretty much used to suckage in sports since Hakeem, Nolan Ryan and Warren Moon all left/retired. They've gotten accustomed to it so at least its nothing new.

AUJarhead · « **Reply #6 on:** March 31, 2011, 12:16:05 PM »

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #7 on:** March 31, 2011, 12:18:29 PM »

Ooh...BURN!

War Eagle!!! · « **Reply #8 on:** March 31, 2011, 12:18:32 PM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on March 31, 2011, 11:22:05 AM

It's Opening Day 2011, and I have already pretty much written off the season.

EVEN IF I could recognize the names of more than three players on Houston's team.

EVEN IF our DL was not longer than our starting roster.

EVEN IF half of our team wasn't below the legal drinking age.

EVEN IF the other half of our team wasn't eligible for Social Security or gastric bypass or both.

EVEN IF I was able to pick out Houston's manager from a three man line up where the other two people were Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell.

EVEN IF all of the above were true...

There is no way the SKG** are going to let me have the Saints win a Super Bowl, Auburn win a national championship, and the Suckasstros... well... NOT suck ass in three consecutive calendar years.

The Suckasstros are fucked. And so are my plans to actually enjoy a baseball season for the first time since Biggio hung up his spikes.

But at least I am not a Fucking Redbird or a Goldam Cubbie.

So I got that going for me.

Somebody pour me a stiff drink.

It's Opening Day.

** SKG = the Sporting Karma Gods, who are the primary governing body and highest authority in the world of Karma. The FKG and the BKG are two of the divisional branches.

BRAVO!!!

War Eagle!!! · « **Reply #9 on:** March 31, 2011, 12:18:51 PM »

Quote from: AUJarhead on March 31, 2011, 12:16:05 PM

*

AUJarhead · « **Reply #10 on:** March 31, 2011, 12:32:36 PM »

But when this happens...

Expect this at Casa de Jarhead

AUJarhead · « **Reply #11 on:** March 31, 2011, 12:34:17 PM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on March 31, 2011, 11:22:05 AM

There is no way the SKG** are going to let me have the Saints win a Super Bowl, Auburn win a national championship, and the Suckasstros... well... NOT suck ass in three consecutive calendar years.

To be fair, I've had a pretty good run since 2006. My 3 favorite teams have all won their championships. And my 4th, North Dakota Hockey, is in the frozen four this year... GO SIOUX!

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #12 on:** March 31, 2011, 12:39:14 PM »

Quote from: AUJarhead on March 31, 2011, 12:16:05 PM

BLASPHEMY

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #13 on:** March 31, 2011, 12:40:51 PM »

Quote from: AUJarhead on March 31, 2011, 12:34:17 PM

To be fair, I've had a pretty good run since 2006. My 3 favorite teams have all won their championships. And my 4th, North Dakota Hockey, is in the frozen four this year... GO SIOUX!

Hockey? HOCKEY? HOCKEY?????

THA FUCK???

Howard is so right about you fucking HOLLYWOOD MARINES.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #14 on:** March 31, 2011, 12:41:31 PM »

Quote from: AUJarhead on March 31, 2011, 12:32:36 PM

But when this happens...

Expect this at Casa de Jarhead

And the Wench will be sitting right there with her finger on the detonator switch... giggling hysterically.

AUJarhead · « **Reply #15 on:** March 31, 2011, 12:43:52 PM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on March 31, 2011, 12:40:51 PM

Hockey? HOCKEY? HOCKEY?????

THA FUCK???

Howard is so right about you fucking HOLLYWOOD MARINES.

Keeps me entertained after football, but before baseball.

AWK · « **Reply #16 on:** March 31, 2011, 01:36:02 PM »

Guess who just went yard at his first at bat...again? Jason Heyward. Boom motherfucka's! Braves up 2 - 0

AUTiger1 · « **Reply #17 on:** March 31, 2011, 02:05:32 PM »

Quote from: AWK on March 31, 2011, 01:36:02 PM

Guess who just went yard at his first at bat...again? Jason Heyward. Boom mothereffa's! Braves up 2 - 0

Go Bravo's!! Hells to the yeah, we are going all the way baby. Cursing to the finish and winning it all.....right Buzz?

Jumbo · « **Reply #18 on:** March 31, 2011, 02:19:50 PM »

Verlander gave up a homer to Texiera that hasn't landed yet, I though the ball was too high.

GH2001 · « **Reply #19 on:** March 31, 2011, 02:20:38 PM »

Quote from: AUTiger1 on March 31, 2011, 02:05:32 PM

Go Bravo's!! Hells to the yeah, we are going all the way baby. Cursing to the finish and winning it all.....right Buzz?

Fuck you.

Thrilla, a little help here with the BKG's please? AUT done fucked with em already.