Mandel weighs in

[AU_Tiger_2000]

You can debate all you want about which college football rivalry is the biggest. The truth is, it's whichever one your team is involved in. But the higher the stakes in a given game, the bigger the rivalry becomes to the rest of us, and for the past two years, none has loomed larger than Alabama-Auburn.

The in-state foes have claimed the sport's past two national championships. Last year's Iron Bowl, in which the Cam Newton-led Tigers rallied from a 24-0 deficit to win 28-27, was the most scintillating game of the 2010 season. As a result, folks from all over the country are getting a window into the bitter Southern rivalry.

Unfortunately, that might not be a good thing.

The disturbing news this week that an Alabama fan intentionally poisoned the 130-year-old oak trees at Auburn's landmark Toomer's Corner has cast a pall over one of the sport's most celebrated rivalries. To be clear, the alleged culprit appears to be a particularly deranged man who acted alone, and Crimson Tide fans far and wide have denounced 62-year-old Harvey Almorn Updyke's crime. This isn't the kind of prank that results in high-fives from fellow fans, and it might land Updyke behind bars.

STAPLES: Toomer's poisoning should enrage all fans

But it only takes one nut-job to give all the one-level-below-nut-jobs a bad name.

"What this guy did is horrible and disgusting and an embarrassment -- not just to all Alabama fans but everyone in Alabama -- because it reinforces the view that we're a group of people that have completely lost perspective of the meaning of college sports," said New York Times writer Warren St. John, a Birmingham native and Crimson Tide fan who authored an acclaimed book about Alabama fanhood, Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer. "In my opinion, while that's occasionally the case, most people can step back from the insanity and when the game is over, go back to their normal lives, but there's a handful of people that can't do that, and it ruins it for everyone."
  -- edit: but we know your paper is one of the ones that drives this

That's because fans in most of the country don't get to spend fall Saturdays among the sundresses and picnic blankets on The Quad in Tuscaloosa or The Loveliest Village on the Plains. They don't get to enjoy the pregame pageantry of The March of Champions before a 'Bama game or the Tiger Walk before an Auburn game. They've never heard the thunderous roar before kickoff at Bryant-Denny Stadium or when The War Eagle takes flight over Jordan-Hare.

They only know what they read and what they hear, and over the past year, stories like the Newton pay-for-play scandal and the Toomer's Corner poisoning have garnered as much attention as the teams' respective championships. The bile-spilling fans who post comments on the Birmingham News website or the over-the-top callers who help fill five hours a day on the Paul Finebaum radio show may represent an inordinately rabid minority of the two fan bases, but they're the ones who are seen and heard.

"We're from Alabama -- you can't make this s--- up," Auburn alum Charles Barkley told ESPN.com after the Toomer's Corner poisoning. "Some things just happen there, and people want to know why we rank 48th in education. It's just sad. I would have felt better about it if it was a young kid. But an old man who has nothing better to do? That's just sad."

The motive behind Updyke's alleged act is a level of hatred toward a rival football team that probably seems incomprehensible to the average fan but is hardly unique among those who live in Alabama. Ohio State fans may claim to hate Michigan, Stanford fans may claim to hate Cal, etc., but for the most part those feelings are closer to dislike. Many Alabama and Auburn fans really do hate the other team, sometimes to an unhealthy extent. Football allegiance is often a core part of the identity of those who grow up in Alabama. They don't all go around poisoning trees, but the poison tongue or poison pen can be ugly in its own right.

The nastiness between the two sides quite clearly intensified during Auburn's unanticipated rise to prominence this past year. Many Alabama fans were beside themselves that Auburn stole their Heisman and championship thunder so quickly. Then the Newton allegations surfaced. To this day, Tide fans are indignant that Auburn "cheated" its way to a championship. Tiger fans in turn are resentful over the continued attacks. It all spilled over into the recent recruiting season, when hyped recruit Cyrus Kouandjio's decision between the two elicited all sorts of mudslinging on his Facebook page. Visit a message board for either team today and you'll find all sorts of unfounded allegations about recruits in this recent class being paid or given cars.

"To me, words matter, and the dialogue has gotten a lot worse -- you could see it this past year," said Jon Solomon, who covers college sports for the Birmingham News. "Going back to the Iron Bowl, when Alabama officials played the [pregame] music [Take the Money and Run and Son of a Preacher Man] for Cam Newton. Yeah, it sounds stupid, it's just a little part of the rivalry, but you keep doing that, it inflames people. Now it's trees. What's next?"

The scary thing is, the bitterness figures to intensify if both programs remain national contenders.
The Toomer's Corner poisoning has cast a pall over one of college football's most celebrated rivalries.
The Toomer's Corner poisoning has cast a pall over one of college football's most celebrated rivalries.
AP

In the aftermath of Updyke's Thursday morning arrest, Solomon's paper asked readers: "Has the Alabama-Auburn rivalry gone too far?" The Iron Bowl was suspended from 1907-1948, and a poll asked readers whether it should be suspended again. Remarkably, more than 40 percent said "yes."

Obviously, that's not going to happen; the SEC and CBS would make sure of it. Plus, most would agree that one mad man's actions shouldn't bring down such an important event. Still, the mere thought of next year's Iron Bowl -- still nine months away -- conjures frightening possibilities.

The state's governor, Robert Bentley, has asked that fans be "controlled in their response," but even he can't bring about a détente. For one thing, the fans aren't going to suddenly start caring less, and that's really what this is about: some care far too much. As long as Finebaum remains on the air and the Internet still functions in Alabama, there will be more than enough forums in which the two fan bases can keep riling up one another. As St. John noted, it only takes one lunatic acting on that hatred to ruin things for everyone else.

The rise of Alabama and Auburn may be good for the state, but it's a double-edged sword for college football. In a sport already plagued by a host of ills right now -- from last year's agent scandals to investigations into corruption at the Fiesta Bowl -- the national game of the year next season could again feature a rivalry that's becoming increasingly squeam-inducing.

"I hope this [incident] will serve people to examine the cultural importance that sports fans put on the games to begin with," said St. John. "College football has gotten so far away from anything that should be associated with higher learning; that's a bit alarming. We see that all the time, with players getting paid, coaches making so much money, and now this guy at Auburn -- all of that paints a picture of something that's out of control, that gives me an uneasy feeling as a fan."

Unfortunately, the ship has sailed on most of those issues. College football fans have long since grown to accept their pseudo-amateurish pastime for all its warts. The one thing they can control is their own behavior.

More than any other sport, college football prides itself on passion. Its fans are as integral to the experience as the helmets and the spread offense. But apparently there's a finer line than we could have imagined between passion and poison.

In an ideal world, it wouldn't take dying trees to figure this out. But if the end result is a bunch of Alabama and Auburn fans backing away from the keyboard, or thinking twice before hitting "submit," maybe something good can come out of this after all. An Iron Bowl without all the vitriol would be soothing not just for the state of Alabama, but for the sport it represents.

Read more: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/stewart_mandel/02/17/alabama.auburn/index.html#ixzz1ELDr1ENr

[Godfather]

This years game is gonna be UGLY! and I am not talking about the bammer women comin to our campus.

[Tiger Wench]

This years game is gonna be UGLY! and I am not talking about the bammer women comin to our campus.

If I am a bammer fan with a family, no way do I bring my kids to Auburn this year.

On the other hand, I, myself, would like to see us kill the fuckers with cold, reserved, kindness.  I was VERY angry yesterday, and am still angry today.  As hard as it has been for me to remember The Creed, and to remember that we are better than they are, the fact remains that WE ARE   BETTER THAN THEM.  I know Kaos will not agree, but I don't think you have to roll over and show your belly in order to take the high road.  The hatred is cold and deep, especially for UpDICK and his ilk, but I will be damned if I myself will give one of them an excuse to think or a means of rationalizing "Well, barners like that are what made him do it."

So I will not lower myself to their level.  No ripping off magnets or spitting on signs or blowing up buildings, or even posting vitriolic comments under some stupid blog post or bammer themed commentary.  Why increase some fucktard's view counts?

 I WILL, however, dedicate myself to following the legal proceedings against this asshole with great interest, and will publically voice my opinion as often as possible as to how I think he should be punished.

Because... well, fuck them.  Game day is coming.  I hope our defense makes their QB shit his pants.  I hope we hang a hundred on their sorry asses.   And the bammer nation is being exposed to the rest of the world for the inbred mouthbreathing goat raping classless motherfuckers they are. 

Works for me.

[Godfather]

Personally...I think they just awoke a sleeping giant.

[AU_Tiger_2000]

If I am a bammer fan with a family, no way do I bring my kids to Auburn this year.

On the other hand, I, myself, would like to see us kill the phukers with cold, reserved, kindness.  I was VERY angry yesterday, and am still angry today.  As hard as it has been for me to remember The Creed, and to remember that we are better than they are, the fact remains that WE ARE   BETTER THAN THEM.  I know Kaos will not agree, but I don't think you have to roll over and show your belly in order to take the high road.  The hatred is cold and deep, especially for Uptool and his ilk, but I will be damned if I myself will give one of them an excuse to think or a means of rationalizing "Well, barners like that are what made him do it."

So I will not lower myself to their level.  No ripping off magnets or spitting on signs or blowing up buildings, or even posting vitriolic comments under some stupid blog post or bammer themed commentary.  Why increase some phuktard's view counts?

I WILL, however, dedicate myself to following the legal proceedings against this butthole with great interest, and will publically voice my opinion as often as possible as to how I think he should be punished.

Because... well, phuk them.  Game day is coming.  I hope our defense makes their QB poop his pants.  I hope we hang a hundred on their sorry asses.   And the bammer nation is being exposed to the rest of the world for the inbred mouthbreathing goat raping classless motherphukers they are. 

Works for me.

I vote for putting him in an Auburn sweatshirt on the side of the road in June and tell him to start planting trees.  When he asks for how long, just say, "We'll let you know."

Another option is to send him to fraternity row with a toothbrush every Saturday during football season.  Be sure that he can't see or hear the Bammer games and make him start cleaning toilets. 

If hangings were still in vogue we could lock him in a cell with a live video feed of Toomer's corner.  Tell him if either tree dies he will be hung from it.

This is all in addition to his normal jail time.

[Snaggletiger]

What do you want US to do about it ya' MOE-RON

[djsimp]

Personally...I think they just awoke a sleeping giant.

A man of few words but words that carry a punch.

[Saniflush]

What do you want US to do about it ya' MOE-RON

What the fuck happened to the TigersX I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst. "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Sani, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Updyke, he's a dead man! Shane, dead! Dunnaway...

[AU_Tiger_2000]

What the phuk happened to the TigersZ I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst. "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Sani, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Updyke, he's a dead man! Shane, dead! Dunnaway...

Dead!  Sani's right!  Psychotic... but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with RoundUp, but that could take years and cost hundreds of dollars. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part!

To the Farks!

[Buzz Killington]

Could I have 10,000 marbles, please?

[djsimp]

WE COMIN!

[Kaos]

On the other hand, I, myself, would like to see us kill the fuckers with cold, reserved, kindness.  I was VERY angry yesterday, and am still angry today.  As hard as it has been for me to remember The Creed, and to remember that we are better than they are, the fact remains that WE ARE   BETTER THAN THEM. 

No, Jimmy Carter, this will not work.  It's what we've done for decades and all it's gotten us is constant ridicule and dead trees. 

Kum-Bay-Ya only works in movies.  It won't work here. 

With all due respect, you live in Texas.  You don't live and breath this every single day of your life like we do. 

You don't go to the grocery store and have the bag boy make snide comments.  You don't have drinks poured on your car.  You just don't have to deal with it.   It's like living in France and having a strong opinion on the Civil War.   You don't have the same perspective.   

[Tiger Wench]

No, Jimmy Carter, this will not work.  It's what we've done for decades and all it's gotten us is constant ridicule and dead trees. 

Kum-Bay-Ya only works in movies.  It won't work here. 

With all due respect, you live in Texas.  You don't live and breath this every single day of your life like we do. 

You don't go to the grocery store and have the bag boy make snide comments.  You don't have drinks poured on your car.  You just don't have to deal with it.   It's like living in France and having a strong opinion on the Civil War.   You don't have the same perspective.

I work with bammers out here too - they are everywhere.

They SUCK. We know that.  I lived in Alabama for most of my life - I have plenty of perspective.  I just choose not to let the fuckers get under my skin to the point where I lose my own sense of right and wrong and lower myself to the worst common denominator. Look down on them and smile in a superior fashion with a touch of pity, and move the fuck on. 

It sure strikes me funny that you as an individual have more encounters with more asshole bammers than all the rest of the board put together.  Coincidence?

[djsimp]

I work with bammers out here too - they are everywhere.

They SUCK. We know that.  I lived in Alabama for most of my life - I have plenty of perspective.  I just choose not to let the fuckers get under my skin to the point where I lose my own sense of right and wrong and lower myself to the worst common denominator. Look down on them and smile in a superior fashion with a touch of pity, and move the fuck on. 

It sure strikes me funny that you as an individual have more encounters with more asshole bammers than all the rest of the board put together.  Coincidence?

And you have just found a common denominator b/w Kaos and Prowler; proximity.

[Kaos]

I work with bammers out here too - they are everywhere.

They SUCK. We know that.  I lived in Alabama for most of my life - I have plenty of perspective.  I just choose not to let the fuckers get under my skin to the point where I lose my own sense of right and wrong and lower myself to the worst common denominator. Look down on them and smile in a superior fashion with a touch of pity, and move the fuck on. 

It sure strikes me funny that you as an individual have more encounters with more asshole bammers than all the rest of the board put together.  Coincidence?

I've never said shit first to any of them in my life.  Most of the time I do exactly what you're saying when confronted with them. 

I did, however, live within 30 minutes of Tuscaloosa for more than 30 years.  I have, however, never lived in an area where Bama fans were not the dominant species until three years ago. 

There's your coincidence.   When 95% of the people around you are of thier kind, you're going to get a full dose of that bad 70% of their fanbase. 

[Tiger Wench]

I've never said shit first to any of them in my life.  Most of the time I do exactly what you're saying when confronted with them. 

I did, however, live within 30 minutes of Tuscaloosa for more than 30 years.  I have, however, never lived in an area where Bama fans were not the dominant species until three years ago. 

There's your coincidence.   When 95% of the people around you are of thier kind, you're going to get a full dose of that bad 70% of their fanbase.

Then I think you have to have some perspective.  Living in the middle of an asshole will get you covered with shit, whether you want to or not.  That's why I feel like I do about Cowgirl fans - living in Dallas made me hate them with the heat of a thousand white hot suns, and I still do.  (Sorry, WE!! and GH)  But hellfire, I was living in their nest, in the middle of their home turf.  OF COURSE I was gonna have encounters with the bad 70% of their fanbase. 

I cannot imagine how hard it would be to live in Turdville as an Auburn fan, and I understand that kind of scaring takes time to wear off.  But you aren't there anymore, thank goodness.  Hopefully it will get better. 

[djsimp]

I will say after living and working in the B'ham area most of my life, B'ham is not much better than Turdville. Its cockroach invested I tell ya.

[Kaos]

Then I think you have to have some perspective.  Living in the middle of an asshole will get you covered with shit, whether you want to or not.  That's why I feel like I do about Cowgirl fans - living in Dallas made me hate them with the heat of a thousand white hot suns, and I still do.  (Sorry, WE!! and GH)  But hellfire, I was living in their nest, in the middle of their home turf.  OF COURSE I was gonna have encounters with the bad 70% of their fanbase. 

I cannot imagine how hard it would be to live in Turdville as an Auburn fan, and I understand that kind of scaring takes time to wear off.  But you aren't there anymore, thank goodness.  Hopefully it will get better.

I really think it's more in the middle rather than either extreme. 

Living where I did, I got to hear what they truly thought.  Even the "good" ones.   Unless you're wearing easily identified Auburn gear, they will assume you are one of them.   And you learn what's really on their minds and in their hearts. 

I worked for a guy who made a couple mil a year easily. Icon in the community. In public he was mister PC.  I'm sure if you asked him he'd provide a tearful response to the horrific acts perpetrated by this rabid individual.  Get him behind closed doors with his buddies and a beer?  He's chuckling his $1000 pants off.

Yeah, I've seen the worst of the worst.  No doubt.  I understand that if your interaction is primarily with only those who are college educated Bama fans and who have good-paying jobs your experience is going to be different.  Those are more like us.  They have a true connection to the school.  But when the fanbase is as large as it is in this state, those type of fans are the significant minority. 

And even the college-educated, decently employed are often no better than the rabble. 

This is from the facebook page of some of my wife's closest kin:





So yeah.  I got it in the family, too.