Wench, no matter how bad the Cards may suck this year, and no matter how badly the Cubs suck, at least our teams don't have anyone that had an anal fissure.
Is that a real thing? I thought that was a new nickname for Scott Boras...
I am not even sure I have the energy for any baseball rants. The magnitude of the suckitude is just so fucking overwhelming. Even Roy O is having a shitty spring.
When your team is so crappy that Woody Williams is still considered a potential starter, you are in big trouble.
When your team is so crappy that random minor leaguers no one had EVER FREAKING HEARD OF BEFORE THIS WEEK are ACTUALLY being considered for the starting rotation, you are in deep shit. (JACK CASSEL? WHO THE FUCK IS JACK CASSEL??)***
When your team is so crappy that CNNSI predicts a 74 win season - finishing BEHIND THE FREAKING BREWERS (but ahead of the redbirds, haha Jarhead) - then you are in poopie up to your eyeballs. At least I ain't as delirious as THIS guy:
Seventy four? I figure Miguel Tejada will be good enough to help the Astros improve by at least 3-4 games over their 73-89 2007 record. The Astros may not necessarily be headed for a 90+ win season, but I'm quite confident they'll finish more than one game ahead of the Cardinals and more than four ahead of Pittsburgh.
"QUITE CONFIDENT"? How about "OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND"!!!!!!!!!
**SIGH**
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*** Update: Dude already got sent back down - "Astros optioned RHP Jack Cassel to Triple-A Round Rock - Cassel allowed 10 runs -- seven earned -- in 13 innings this spring. He'll likely be first or second in line for an in-season callup when the Astros need help."
AND one writer said he was better than Sampson or Woody... now that is just FABULOUS... FABULOUS, I say.
FAB.
U.
LOUS.