Dear TigersX (swiped from Pell City Tiger)

[Buzz Killington]

In an effort to keep this site interesting during the football offseason, I decided to rip off PCT's idea from a year or so ago.
Give us your real TigersX advice to these folks...

Dear Abby:

My husband, "Gene," and I met a week before my 13th birthday. Gene had always been a poor student and preferred a job making money to learning. (He never learned to read past kindergarten level; therefore he doesn't write well.)

We moved into our own home in 1999. We both wanted children, and our daughter was born in 2001. Our relationship was great -- until we had someone else to care for. Because Gene was brought up old-fashioned, he decided I was to stay at home and care for the house and kids while he worked and provided for us.

Things got physical not long after our daughter arrived. We'd argue and I'd try to leave, only to result in my being choked. Or he'd throw me against a wall to prevent me from calling 911. One time, he broke my nose. He was never violent toward the children -- I had a son in 2004 -- only toward me because of them. He said I never did things right or I took up for them.

I left for good six weeks ago. I have left many times before, but went back because of dependency. This time I have a lot of support, plus I'm enlisting in the Air Force. My father served in the military for 21 years, and is quitting his truck-driving job to care for my children while I attend basic training and tech school. Gene knows I'm not coming back this time. We're on speaking terms only because of the children.

Abby, I find myself wondering if, after my six years in the service, I should try to reconcile with Gene. On some level, I know it wouldn't work and it's wrong to even think about going back to that life after being given a chance for a better one. But then, I picture Gene with us in that better life. Would it be a slap in the face if, in the end, Gene and I worked out our differences and forgot about the past?


Needs Answers in Mississippi

[ssgaufan]

Dear I married my cousin, no you shouldn't try to reconcile with Gene after six years.  You should however go back to Gene, and kick the shit out of that houndstooth wearing piece of shit.

[Kaos]

Dear Mississippi Whore -

Please neuter yourself. 

Thanks,
Ab

[Ogre]

Dear Inbred in Mississippi,

Sibling rivalries are part of growing up, and they don't stop just because you married each other.  I fear you truly haven't thought this separation through.  What happens when you run into each other at the buffet line during your next family reunion?  Are you just going to let him have that last scoop of potato salad and head for the exit?  

What you need to do is join the Air Force, get a good dickin' from a few of the enlisted men and leave those waterhead kids of yours with their uncle-daddy.  Start a new life, maybe move somewhere exotic - like Tupelo.  Most importantly, you need to leave your brother-husband alone and try a guy from another family (preferably no closer than a 4th cousin).  

Abby

[AUChizad]

Dear Mississippi,
CCTAU hits kids because he loves them. Get off his back.

[AuburnChopper 3.0]

Why bother, It's probably all your fault anyway.

Ab

[Saniflush]

Dear Inbred in Mississippi,

Sibling rivalries are part of growing up, and they don't stop just because you married each other.  I fear you truly haven't thought this separation through.  What happens when you run into each other at the buffet line during your next family reunion?  Are you just going to let him have that last scoop of potato salad and head for the exit? 

What you need to do is join the Air Force, get a good dickin' from a few of the enlisted men and leave those waterhead kids of yours with their uncle-daddy.  Start a new life, maybe move somewhere exotic - like Tupelo.  Most importantly, you need to leave your brother-husband alone and try a guy from another family (preferably no closer than a 4th cousin). 

Abby

I am declaring a winner.

[Buzz Killington]

I am declaring a winner.

+4 to Ogre

Dear Abby:

I am a happily married man, raising two daughters, ages 12 and 15.
 
A friend I have known for 20 years, "Kevin," has become a little too friendly toward our 15-year-old, "Amanda." He has been giving Amanda money for doing nothing. The first time, he gave her $300 and told her not to tell her mother or me. Of course, our daughter told us anyway. When we confronted Kevin, he said he felt sorry for Amanda and she was supposed to baby-sit to pay back the loan, so we allowed her to keep the money to buy clothes with.

A few weeks after that, Kevin gave Amanda $200 for letting him cut her long blond hair so he could sell it on the Internet. Needless to say, her mother and I were very upset. But instead of confronting him again, we just gave Kevin the cold shoulder, hoping he'd get the message and go away.

About a month later, he sneaked into our home while my wife and I were out and installed a satellite box in Amanda's room. When we discovered the box, we asked Amanda where it came from, and she said Kevin. I looked at the programming on the box. It had been rigged with free pay and pornography channels. We were very upset. We removed the box, gave it back to our ex-friend and ordered him never to come around our kids again. Do you think we did enough? We don't want to overreact.

Unsure in Washington

[Ogre]

Dear Unsure,

Does your daughter resemble Raven Riley?  That Kaos guy is a creepy bastard.  Stay away from him at all costs.

On a side note, do you think Kevin still has that satellite box?  Send me his number, I'm might be interested in taking it off his hands.

Abby

[AuburnChopper 3.0]

Dear Captain Oblivious,

Guns are cheaper at Pawn Shops.

Signed,

Ab

[AWK]

+4 to Ogre

Dear Unsure,

Let me back in the fucking house, Your daughter has that sweet ass.

Signed,
Chris Hansen.

[Pell City Tiger]

Dear Unsure,
  $500 and a satellite receiver with free movies? Overreact much? I think you owe "Kevin" an apology.

Abby

[Buzz Killington]

Push.

Dear Abby:

In 2000, I won full custody of my two children, a boy, 12, and a girl, "Dallas," who is now 14.

I have done everything I could to raise them both with good morals and provide them with a good education.

A few weeks ago, Dallas confided in me that she's attracted to girls, and has a long-distance relationship with a girl in a different state.

It came as a shock, but I have tried to understand so that she doesn't feel bad about it. I'm hoping this is just a phase she's going through and that it will pass -- but if it doesn't, I'll do my best to deal with it.

My problem is that Dallas insists on letting everyone know about her orientation.

She even wears jewelry with the rainbow colors. I keep trying to make her understand that this is HER business, and it's not something she should make public, but she responds by asking me if I'm ashamed of her. (I always reply, "Of course not.")

Am I wrong by telling her that? What's the correct way to deal with this?


Confused Parent, Arlington

[Ogre]

Dear Confused Parent,

I'm afraid I'm going to have to see visual evidence before I can pass judgement on this situation.  Please send pictures of both Dallas and her out-of-state lover directly to my attention, and I'll get back with you as soon as possible.

Ogre er...Abby

[AUChizad]

Push.

Dear Confused,
She's probably not gay, just a flaming whore.
These things happen when you name your child after one of the most popular and famous pornographic films of all time.

[lifesapplepie]

Dear What the fuck were you thinking naming your child Dallas,

After hitting that "crazy pipe" 14 years ago, it was inevitable after naming your child Dallas, that something like this was going to happen.  Here are a few options to choose from next time....  Ashley, Sara,....

[Pell City Tiger]

Dear Confused Parent,
  Is she Rosie-Ellen gay or hot XXX gay. There's a huge difference in the two. As Ogre er...Abby stated, visual proof is needed. If she's the former, ship her ass off to boarding school. If it's the latter, send her to the Valley in California. She'll make big bucks.

Abs

[Buzz Killington]

DEAR TigersX: Will you please advise me on how to tell our computer friends not to send "junk" e-mail? My husband and I are annoyed with all the chain letters, jokes, cartoons, opinion letters, cutesy pictures, etc. we are receiving. I don't bother to read them, but deleting them is time-consuming.

Why do people assume we're interested when we never asked for this kind of stuff? All it does is fill up our mailboxes.

I stopped passing along this form of entertainment years ago, but people still keep sending the rubbish, even when I politely ask them to stop. Changing my e-mail address won't help. I want to correspond with friends, and do not want to hurt their feelings. I just want to eliminate the trash. Any suggestions on what we can say or do to stop the junk? -- OVERFLOWING IN TRAVERSE CITY, MICH.

[Buzz Killington]

Come on people...I figured some of you would be all over this one.

[Pell City Tiger]

Dear Dumbass,
  Since you don't have the stones to tell them to knock it off, the best alternative way to ward off these mass spamers is to sign them up for as many gay porn and animal fetish newsletters you can find. This should get your point across.

  Now fuck off and quit bugging me.
TigersX