#4 The University of Alabama for Women Perfume – Lord knows a college education is expensive. Your Bama fan needn’t bother with a degree, when they can just have the eau de toilette. Presenting “The University of Alabama for Women.†It is described as smelling like… and I quote: “Candied Pink Grapefruit Sparkling Mandarin and Pineapple Sorbet. Textural Osmanthus Tahitian Tiara Flower White Tuberose and Japanese Honeysuckle glimmer throughout the heart capturing the passion and energy of the Crimson and White while Exotic Bamboo Wood Creamy Sandalwood and Soft Musk linger at the base rounding out this sparkling and captivating fragrance.†My God… well, I guess reeking like a methamphetamine smoothie beats the stench of four years in Tuscaloosa and you can get the essence of that experience for only $60. Sounds pretty good, right? (And if that description was written by a Bama grad, I don’t think they’ll miss much anyway).
#10 Snowman Tailgater Ornament – If the mini martini and wine glass ornaments aren’t your style, then this “24kt. Gold finished brass ornament†(which appears to be painted thus rendering the addition of the gold irrelevant) will look great on your Bama tree. Sure he looks a little doughboyish and seems to be grilling up some delicious nothing – and, of course, the very concept of a snowman near smoldering charcoal seems like a recipe for disaster – but in many ways this 4†bauble offers so much: the color crimson, two elephants … and gold! Nothing says Happy Bama Christmas like a beloved holiday icon tarted up to hawk a team that also cooked up a bunch of nothing this season.
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