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Keep her where she belongs!

Saniflush

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Re: Keep her whare she belongs!
« Reply #20 on: October 06, 2010, 07:08:10 AM »
Dr Screws at Maxwell AFB?

Holy! Fucking! Shit!


This jacksass is who made me join the Corps.  True Saniflush story.....

Once I decided as a senior that I wanted to join the military I got in touch with the Army recruiter in the area.  Signed up as an EOD tech with guaranteed jump school.  In order to pre-enlist you still had to have a physical which in my case had to be done at the Montgomery MEPS station (Military Enlisted Processing Station) which is at Maxwell AFB. 

Rewind a year earlier during Spring break in PCB. 

I ate some bad oysters  and got sick as hell.  They had to put me in the hospital and feed me IV's for a week I was so dehydrated.  They ran all manner of tests on me for everything but all of them came back negative.  They never found out what it was.

So there I am at the MEPS station filling out all the idiot paperwork and they read you the riot act about how you had better not lie or they will prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law.  So there is this question on one of the forms asking if you "have ever been in the hospital and if yes what for".  I check the yes box and proceed to write down that they never diagnosed what I had but felt it was just from eating some bad shell fish.
Because of this Dr. Screws proceeds to fail me on my physical. 
And fail me the next three times that I try to enlist over the next couple of months.  After the last one, Army recruiter and I are riding back to the recruiting station so he can go in and check his messages on his machine.  While he is doing this I am all pissed off outside smoking a cigarette.  I look two doors down and there is the door for the Marine recruiter.  I flick my cigarette out, walk down, open the door and walk in.  His first words are "What can I do for you?"
"Can you get me in? The Army won't take me" I say.
He proceeds to ask my name and looks up my ABSFAB score.  hand to God the next words out of his mouth are
"Oh hell yeah, we'll get you right in!"

Not sure if he went and found out Screw's schedule and we did it on a day when he was off or what happened but I sailed right on through my next physical.

In retrospect I'm happy that it happened the way it did but I could never understand how they could have this ancient motherfucker accepting and declining folks to join something he obviously  was not qualified to be in either?
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Godfather

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Re: Keep her where she belongs!
« Reply #21 on: October 06, 2010, 10:31:35 AM »
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Saniflush

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Re: Keep her where she belongs!
« Reply #22 on: October 06, 2010, 10:32:40 AM »
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Godfather

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Re: Keep her where she belongs!
« Reply #23 on: October 06, 2010, 10:34:04 AM »
I just want to stare at your avatar all day
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Gus is gone, hooray!
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djsimp

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Re: Keep her where she belongs!
« Reply #24 on: October 06, 2010, 11:20:05 AM »
I just want to stare at your avatar all day

I have been up to this point. Now, if I could only see the rest.
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AUTailgatingRules

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Re: Keep her where she belongs!
« Reply #25 on: October 06, 2010, 12:51:37 PM »
It's science man.

Actually there is truth to this advertisement.  Our Pediatrician told my wife that instead of taking barley supplements that she should drink one beer a day to increase her milk supply.  The barley in the beer does something to increase the milk.   We both walked out of the appointment and said at the same time that we love our new Doctor.
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Jumbo

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Re: Keep her where she belongs!
« Reply #26 on: October 06, 2010, 01:27:13 PM »
I just want to stare at your avatar all day
I dont wont to work, I want to bang on a drum all day.
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You'll never shine if you don't glow.