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Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail

Lurking Tiger

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Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« on: October 04, 2010, 08:32:49 AM »
Coming to you live from the Cobb County Superior Court this week.

Shouldn't be too bad. They let us bring in our laptops and it's a week off work.

Who else has done time in the jury room ? Any interesting cases ?
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Saniflush

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2010, 08:40:52 AM »
I did a juror once.
Crazy assed chick I was doing in Birmingham was on jury duty one week. 
Would meet up to nooner and give her the gag order.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2010, 08:43:26 AM »
I did a juror once.
Crazy assed chick I was doing in Birmingham was on jury duty one week. 
Would meet up to nooner and give her the gag order.

High School Mock Trial kids don't count, Sani. 
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Saniflush

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2010, 09:24:27 AM »
High School Mock Trial kids don't count, Sani.

She was all woman.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

wesfau2

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2010, 10:48:50 AM »
Coincidentally, I am also sitting in the jury room awaiting my fate.

Okaloosa County for me.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2010, 10:53:14 AM »
Coincidentally, I am also sitting in the jury room awaiting my fate.

Okaloosa County for me.

Your Honor, I'd like to strike his bitch ass. 

Seriously, you got teh jury dooties this week?
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Saniflush

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2010, 11:04:54 AM »
Coincidentally, I am also sitting in the jury room awaiting my fate.

Okaloosa County for me.

Interesting question....


Wouldn't you have a high probability of being struck from the jury?
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Godfather

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2010, 11:07:29 AM »
Interesting question....


Wouldn't you have a high probability of being struck from the jury?
But he loves teh dark peoples.
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Saniflush

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2010, 11:10:40 AM »
But he loves teh dark peoples.

Well sure.....If they're dancers.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

wesfau2

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #9 on: October 04, 2010, 02:35:52 PM »
Update:  I didn't get picked....shocker.

Case was a simple possession (less than 20g of weed and some rolling papers).  State's Attorney asks the usual questions re: previous arrests, jury service, etc...

Then he asks if anyone believes that weed should be decriminalized.  I raise my hand...no one else does.  I am asked if I can apply the law as it exists and not the law as I wish it to be.  I agree that I can.

They announce the jury and I'm not picked.  I get up to leave and the judge calls out to me across the court room, "Mr. Fontaine!"

I turn.  "Yes?"

"You didn't think we were going to let you out of here without acknowledging your willingness to serve, did you?"

"Your Honor, I didn't mention my profession because I didn't want you to think I was trading on it to get out of serving."

"I appreciate that, Mr. Fontaine, but we cross-reference the juror lists with the bar membership.  These gentlemen (side note: defendant was representing himself) knew who you were and you weren't getting on the jury."

"OK, thanks."

Nice to know I wasted my morning.  They could have just discretely pulled me aside and let me go when I reported.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Saniflush

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2010, 02:41:54 PM »
Maybe the judge wanted to wait and see if you offered up any goods or services to get out of serving?
just sayin'
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #11 on: October 04, 2010, 02:43:04 PM »
Maybe the judge wanted to wait and see if you offered up any goods or services to get out of serving?
just sayin'

Maybe the judge wanted to see if he was carrying.
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Saniflush

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #12 on: October 04, 2010, 02:45:59 PM »
Maybe the judge wanted to see if he was carrying.

This man knows.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Godfather

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #13 on: October 04, 2010, 02:51:57 PM »
This man knows.
The Judge needed a little for his cataracts.
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Saniflush

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #14 on: October 04, 2010, 02:55:37 PM »
Excuse me, but can you blow me where the pampers is?

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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #15 on: October 04, 2010, 03:07:13 PM »
Excuse me, but can you blow me where the pampers is?


Living with him (David Spade) freshman year was a nightmare.
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wesfau2

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #16 on: October 04, 2010, 03:07:14 PM »
The Judge needed a little for his cataracts.

Better get a receipt, motherfucker...

Excuse me, but can you blow me where the pampers is?



H-I-larious.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Godfather

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Re: Getting to See What it is Like on the Other Side of the Rail
« Reply #17 on: October 04, 2010, 03:42:21 PM »
Living with him (David Spade) freshman year was a nightmare.

GO TO SLEEP....GO TO SLEEP...ugh (shivers)
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