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Worst Play By Play Evah

Snaggletiger

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Worst Play By Play Evah
« on: September 10, 2010, 09:40:14 AM »
No....not the announcers.  Our beloved GF.  Last night, I was not able to watch the first 3/4 of the game due to incredibly bad scheduling and just an outstanding case of stupidity on my part.  I've asked for several to keep me updated via text and apparently, no one likes me, so I have no idea what's going on.  Then, the little green light starts blinking and the familiar DROOOOIIID signal goes off.  It's Brian.  Thank Gawd, I finally get to see what's happening. 

Excuse me folks, one second...I'm expecting a very important message.

The message says..and I quote...."Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuckity fuck."

I type back..."Score?????"

Response: "I'll bet Howard's not bangin' Whitney right now"

"Score????"

Response:  "Did I mention, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck?"

I slammed my phone down.  Onterrio crumpled at the 35.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Godfather

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2010, 09:55:19 AM »
No....not the announcers.  Our beloved GF.  Last night, I was not able to watch the first 3/4 of the game due to incredibly bad scheduling and just an outstanding case of stupidity on my part.  I've asked for several to keep me updated via text and apparently, no one likes me, so I have no idea what's going on.  Then, the little green light starts blinking and the familiar DROOOOIIID signal goes off.  It's Brian.  Thank Gawd, I finally get to see what's happening. 

Excuse me folks, one second...I'm expecting a very important message.

The message says..and I quote...."Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuckity fuck."

I type back..."Score?????"

Response: "I'll bet Howard's not bangin' Whitney right now"

"Score????"

Response:  "Did I mention, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck?"

I slammed my phone down.  Onterrio crumpled at the 35.

Fuck you...I gave you the score.

best text back award goes to PCT....I was sending texts out as a group. PCT writes back umm I think you have my number mixed up with Snaggles, I 'm watching the game I know what is happening. 
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Godfather

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2010, 09:56:33 AM »
Plus if you would have been watching the game like you should have....you would have known that fuck fuck fuckity fuck was that we had to punt and then we fumbled and then they scored and the game was tied.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2010, 10:05:49 AM »
True, a real Auburn man should have been watching the whole game.  I've already indulged in plenty of self loathing and pity for a while now.  However, you must know that a "Fuckity fuck fuck fuckity fuck" update only serves to tighten one's sphincter to a point that you couldn't drive a thumb tack up my ass with a sledge hammer. 
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Saniflush

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2010, 10:10:38 AM »
best text back award goes to PCT....I was sending texts out as a group. PCT writes back umm I think you have my number mixed up with Snaggles, I 'm watching the game I know what is happening.


No more face for you.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

djsimp

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2010, 10:10:56 AM »
A "Fuckity fuck fuck fuckity fuck" update could also mean that one spilled his/her beer.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2010, 10:12:29 AM »
At least you get to have textual relations with the x-ers...

None of you call, none of you write, I never get flowers.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

JR4AU

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2010, 10:43:53 AM »
No....not the announcers.  Our beloved GF.  Last night, I was not able to watch the first 3/4 of the game due to incredibly bad scheduling and just an outstanding case of stupidity on my part.  I've asked for several to keep me updated via text and apparently, no one likes me, so I have no idea what's going on.  Then, the little green light starts blinking and the familiar DROOOOIIID signal goes off.  It's Brian.  Thank Gawd, I finally get to see what's happening. 

Excuse me folks, one second...I'm expecting a very important message.

The message says..and I quote...."Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuckity fuck."

I type back..."Score?????"

Response: "I'll bet Howard's not bangin' Whitney right now"

"Score????"

Response:  "Did I mention, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck?"

I slammed my phone down.  Onterrio crumpled at the 35.

RADIO...look it up!
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GH2001

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2010, 10:59:30 AM »
No....not the announcers.  Our beloved GF.  Last night, I was not able to watch the first 3/4 of the game due to incredibly bad scheduling and just an outstanding case of stupidity on my part.  I've asked for several to keep me updated via text and apparently, no one likes me, so I have no idea what's going on.  Then, the little green light starts blinking and the familiar DROOOOIIID signal goes off.  It's Brian.  Thank Gawd, I finally get to see what's happening. 

Excuse me folks, one second...I'm expecting a very important message.

The message says..and I quote...."Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuckity fuck."

I type back..."Score?????"

Response: "I'll bet Howard's not bangin' Whitney right now"

"Score????"

Response:  "Did I mention, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck?"

I slammed my phone down.  Onterrio crumpled at the 35.

You have a DROID and you couldn't find the score? Serious Clark? Holy crap man - I can't help you then.
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WDE

Saniflush

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2010, 11:01:07 AM »
You have a DROID and you couldn't find the score? Serious Clark? Holy crap man - I can't help you then.

Mrs snaggle had the web function shut off.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

War Eagle!!!

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2010, 11:05:45 AM »
Mrs snaggle had the web function shut off.

HAHA
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djsimp

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2010, 11:07:14 AM »
Snaggle, there is something def fishy going on here. You're not telling is some valuable info here.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2010, 11:58:34 AM »
I play in the praise band at church and last night was our 7:00 - 9:30 practice.  Couldn't listen to the radio or anything like that.  Just had to check for textises between songs. Me and the bass player and drummer are all rabid fans of Teh Planesmens and none of us were getting any of the textual help we needed.

Plus, it was my son's birthday so Dad had to handle that bidnezz too.
« Last Edit: September 10, 2010, 11:59:31 AM by Snaggletiger »
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

JR4AU

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2010, 12:02:58 PM »
I play in the praise band at church and last night was our 7:00 - 9:30 practice.  Couldn't listen to the radio or anything like that.  Just had to check for textises between songs. Me and the bass player and drummer are all rabid fans of Teh Planesmens and none of us were getting any of the textual help we needed.

Plus, it was my son's birthday so Dad had to handle that bidnezz too.

My child was born on Nov. 20th.  She's never seen a birthday party on her birthday, or even the weekend of.  Shit like that happens when you're born during football season, and especially that week.  Kids are resiliant, they understand and move on...or they become serial killers and get the counselling they need in prison. 
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Godfather

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #14 on: September 10, 2010, 12:10:29 PM »
I play in the praise band at church and last night was our 7:00 - 9:30 practice.  Couldn't listen to the radio or anything like that.  Just had to check for textises between songs. Me and the bass player and drummer are all rabid fans of Teh Planesmens and none of us were getting any of the textual help we needed.

Plus, it was my son's birthday so Dad had to handle that bidnezz too.
You'll get no sympathy from me choir boy.
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AUTiger1

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #15 on: September 10, 2010, 12:12:41 PM »
At least you get to have textual relations with the x-ers...

None of you call, none of you write, I never get flowers.

I'll do better form here on out. 
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

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Snaggletiger

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Re: Worst Play By Play Evah
« Reply #16 on: September 10, 2010, 12:14:13 PM »
You'll get no sympathy from me choir boy.

You wound me
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."