Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports

The Calling...Of The...Taint...

AWK

  • Caller of the "Taint"
  • ***
  • 8190
  • Damn Right.
The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« on: August 16, 2010, 12:01:32 PM »
So, there I was, balls deep in this fa...

Wait, different story.  After a long weekend of drinking, partying, listening to a shitty band (Chizad's), I woke up Monday with a strange feeling.  I walked outside to get the newspaper this a.m. and noticed a distinct smell in the air.... At this exact point is when I knew it was football season.  The smell of the taint was apparent.   

Maybe it was because football season starts in la little more than two weeks...maybe it is because the temperature cooled down from 156 to 110...or maybe it was because I forgot to shower all weekend due to the debauchery...but the smell of the taint was definitely in the air. 

So, let's get this shit started...

O-N-E Taint at a time!

No one can escape the Taint...

Not even Barry!

Remember, never speak personal about any players taints!  They are just kids.

Exactly.

So, kids, it is now officially football season.  Get excited, go outside, drink a few beers, watch a few Auburn videos, go Fuck yourselves for all I care, but be warned...  The taint has been called.


And oh yeah, if you're wondering how I cleansed my taint:



« Last Edit: August 16, 2010, 12:23:24 PM by AWK »
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44514
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2010, 12:05:45 PM »
WOOOO HOOOOO...I knew I smelled something this morning too.  Let the season begin.

Oh, and finish the story you started before calling the Taint.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2010, 12:08:28 PM by Snaggletiger »
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Ogre

  • ****
  • 3658
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2010, 12:07:45 PM »
I showered in Gold Bond after reading this thread.

friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44514
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2010, 12:09:34 PM »
I showered in Gold Bond after reading this thread.

Did you have some itchy, cracking, oozing, pussie substance between your toes. 
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

  • *
  • 22895
  • Bofa
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2010, 12:14:05 PM »
Just in time for the TigersX debauchery this weekend.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Token

  • ****
  • 4866
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #5 on: August 16, 2010, 12:36:26 PM »
I did smell some awful taint this morning, but I just figured it was because I'm in Atlanta today.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

chinook

  • ****
  • 5647
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #6 on: August 16, 2010, 12:45:17 PM »
the west coast smells the taint...though three hours later.

i want to know...did you call wartim this morning to discuss?   
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

AUChizad

  • Female Pledge Trainer
  • ***
  • 19523
  • Auburn Basketball Hits Everything
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #7 on: August 16, 2010, 12:47:48 PM »
So, there I was, balls deep in this fag.
I finished your story for you.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44514
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #8 on: August 16, 2010, 12:50:18 PM »
I finished your story for you.

Well, that really wasn't worth waiting for.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AWK

  • Caller of the "Taint"
  • ***
  • 8190
  • Damn Right.
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #9 on: August 16, 2010, 01:04:07 PM »
the west coast smells the taint...though three hours later.

i want to know...did you call wartim this morning to discuss?
He was too busy doing something with a nip...pervert.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44514
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2010, 01:07:51 PM »
He was too busy doing something with a nip...pervert.

The nip involves dark pink jerseys, Brodie Croyle and a lovelly wife.  ONE POST AT A TIME.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AUTiger1

  • ****
  • 9872
  • Eat a Peach
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #11 on: August 16, 2010, 01:18:57 PM »
Finally!  Life can now continue on as normal since the TAINT has been called!   What a great day!
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan

Buzz Killington

  • *
  • 22895
  • Bofa
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #12 on: August 16, 2010, 01:34:05 PM »
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid
prolonged exposure to Taint.
 
Caution: Taint may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
 
Taint contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture
should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
 
Do not use Taint on concrete.
 
Discontinue use of Taint if any of the following occurs:
 
* Itching
 
* Vertigo
 
* Dizziness
 
* Tingling in extremities
 
* Loss of balance or coordination
 
* Slurred speech
 
* Temporary blindness
 
* Profuse Sweating
 
or
 
* Heart palpitations
 
If Taint begins to smoke, get away immediately.  Seek shelter
and cover head.
 
Taint may stick to certain types of skin.
 
When not in use, Taint should be returned to its special container
and kept under refrigeration.
 
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Taint, Wacky Products
Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of
any and all liability.
 
Ingredients of Taint include an unknown glowing substance which
fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
 
Taint has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is
also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
 
Do not taunt Taint.
 
Taint comes with a lifetime guarantee.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

AWK

  • Caller of the "Taint"
  • ***
  • 8190
  • Damn Right.
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #13 on: August 16, 2010, 01:49:52 PM »
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid
prolonged exposure to Taint.
 
Caution: Taint may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
 
Taint contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture
should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
 
Do not use Taint on concrete.
 
Discontinue use of Taint if any of the following occurs:
 
* Itching
 
* Vertigo
 
* Dizziness
 
* Tingling in extremities
 
* Loss of balance or coordination
 
* Slurred speech
 
* Temporary blindness
 
* Profuse Sweating
 
or
 
* Heart palpitations
 
If Taint begins to smoke, get away immediately.  Seek shelter
and cover head.
 
Taint may stick to certain types of skin.
 
When not in use, Taint should be returned to its special container
and kept under refrigeration.
 
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Taint, Wacky Products
Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of
any and all liability.
 
Ingredients of Taint include an unknown glowing substance which
fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
 
Taint has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is
also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
 
Do not taunt Taint.
 
Taint comes with a lifetime guarantee.
This guy knows.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44514
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #14 on: August 16, 2010, 01:51:27 PM »
I recently taunted a taint.  Am I going to be okay?
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Godfather

  • Chapter
  • ****
  • 21263
  • He knows!
    • Tigers X
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #15 on: August 16, 2010, 02:01:17 PM »
I recently taunted a taint.  Am I going to be okay?
I am assuming it was your own, so I am sure you will be fine.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Gus is gone, hooray!
                       -Auburn Fans


Auburn Forum

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44514
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #16 on: August 16, 2010, 02:05:08 PM »
I am assuming it was your own, so I am sure you will be fine.

Taint true at all.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Tiger Six

Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #17 on: August 16, 2010, 02:08:17 PM »
Taint nothing like the real thing, baby.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Tiger Six

Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #18 on: August 16, 2010, 02:09:14 PM »
Taint too proud to beg.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Tiger Six

Re: The Calling...Of The...Taint...
« Reply #19 on: August 16, 2010, 02:10:00 PM »
Taint that a shame.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions