The Calling...Of The...Taint...

[AWK]

So, there I was, balls deep in this fa...

Wait, different story.  After a long weekend of drinking, partying, listening to a shitty band (Chizad's), I woke up Monday with a strange feeling.  I walked outside to get the newspaper this a.m. and noticed a distinct smell in the air.... At this exact point is when I knew it was football season.  The smell of the taint was apparent.   

Maybe it was because football season starts in la little more than two weeks...maybe it is because the temperature cooled down from 156 to 110...or maybe it was because I forgot to shower all weekend due to the debauchery...but the smell of the taint was definitely in the air. 

So, let's get this shit started...

O-N-E Taint at a time!

No one can escape the Taint...

Not even Barry!

Remember, never speak personal about any players taints!  They are just kids.

Exactly.

So, kids, it is now officially football season.  Get excited, go outside, drink a few beers, watch a few Auburn videos, go Fuck yourselves for all I care, but be warned...  The taint has been called.


And oh yeah, if you're wondering how I cleansed my taint:

[Snaggletiger]

WOOOO HOOOOO...I knew I smelled something this morning too.  Let the season begin.

Oh, and finish the story you started before calling the Taint.

[Ogre]

I showered in Gold Bond after reading this thread.

[Snaggletiger]

I showered in Gold Bond after reading this thread.

Did you have some itchy, cracking, oozing, pussie substance between your toes. 

[Buzz Killington]

Just in time for the TigersX debauchery this weekend.

[Token]

I did smell some awful taint this morning, but I just figured it was because I'm in Atlanta today.

[chinook]

the west coast smells the taint...though three hours later.

i want to know...did you call wartim this morning to discuss?   

[AUChizad]

So, there I was, balls deep in this fag.

I finished your story for you.

[Snaggletiger]

I finished your story for you.

Well, that really wasn't worth waiting for.

[AWK]

the west coast smells the taint...though three hours later.

i want to know...did you call wartim this morning to discuss?

He was too busy doing something with a nip...pervert.

[Snaggletiger]

He was too busy doing something with a nip...pervert.

The nip involves dark pink jerseys, Brodie Croyle and a lovelly wife.  ONE POST AT A TIME.

[AUTiger1]

Finally!  Life can now continue on as normal since the TAINT has been called!   What a great day!

[Buzz Killington]

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid
prolonged exposure to Taint.
 
Caution: Taint may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
 
Taint contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture
should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
 
Do not use Taint on concrete.
 
Discontinue use of Taint if any of the following occurs:
 
* Itching
 
* Vertigo
 
* Dizziness
 
* Tingling in extremities
 
* Loss of balance or coordination
 
* Slurred speech
 
* Temporary blindness
 
* Profuse Sweating
 
or
 
* Heart palpitations
 
If Taint begins to smoke, get away immediately.  Seek shelter
and cover head.
 
Taint may stick to certain types of skin.
 
When not in use, Taint should be returned to its special container
and kept under refrigeration.
 
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Taint, Wacky Products
Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of
any and all liability.
 
Ingredients of Taint include an unknown glowing substance which
fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
 
Taint has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is
also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
 
Do not taunt Taint.
 
Taint comes with a lifetime guarantee.

[AWK]

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid
prolonged exposure to Taint.
 
Caution: Taint may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
 
Taint contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture
should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
 
Do not use Taint on concrete.
 
Discontinue use of Taint if any of the following occurs:
 
* Itching
 
* Vertigo
 
* Dizziness
 
* Tingling in extremities
 
* Loss of balance or coordination
 
* Slurred speech
 
* Temporary blindness
 
* Profuse Sweating
 
or
 
* Heart palpitations
 
If Taint begins to smoke, get away immediately.  Seek shelter
and cover head.
 
Taint may stick to certain types of skin.
 
When not in use, Taint should be returned to its special container
and kept under refrigeration.
 
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Taint, Wacky Products
Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of
any and all liability.
 
Ingredients of Taint include an unknown glowing substance which
fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
 
Taint has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is
also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
 
Do not taunt Taint.
 
Taint comes with a lifetime guarantee.

This guy knows.

[Snaggletiger]

I recently taunted a taint.  Am I going to be okay?

[Godfather]

I recently taunted a taint.  Am I going to be okay?

I am assuming it was your own, so I am sure you will be fine.

[Snaggletiger]

I am assuming it was your own, so I am sure you will be fine.

Taint true at all.

[Tiger Six]

Taint nothing like the real thing, baby.

[Tiger Six]

Taint too proud to beg.

[Tiger Six]

Taint that a shame.