and the Ginger goes down!
10 Commandments for Fantasy Football"I had to bump you."The e-mail was a response and it was not the one I was expecting.Last year, a friend had asked me to join his fantasy basketball league. It was year two of the league, one guy had dropped out, they needed one more owner and was I interested? I knew a decent number of guys in the league and liked them, so I said sure. We played out the league.So this year comes around and it occurs to me the season is coming up. I send my buddy an e-mail about the draft. We should get around to setting a draft date, no?And that was his response."We accidentally bumped someone last year who had to be added back in this season (there was some bitterness). I didn't think you'd care, you're in, like, 20 leagues." He then goes on to tell me about the team he drafted in the league I am no longer in. "I overpaid for Durant and Blake Griffin" he complains.I had enjoyed the league last year (really funny smack talk), so I was bummed. But he was right; I am in a million leagues and one less does not crush me.But the thing that really hacked me off was that he didn't tell me beforehand. I was like ... wait, what?! You already had the draft? (The guys in the league live all over the country). It's like dating a girl, then strolling up and seeing her at a romantic dinner with a new guy. And she's very nonchalant. "Oh, I forgot to mention it. We broke up last week."No, dammit. That's not how it works.Podcast listeners have heard me and our frequent guest Michael Smith (from NFL Live, Around the Horn, etc.) discuss trades. The two of us had a long, very funny podcast last week where I gave him crap for a trade offer that went wrong in a 14-team league we are both in. We had been discussing a trade, going back and forth all day via text, each of us making offers. And maybe a hour after he had made one offer, I said "You know what? I'll do [the offer from a hour ago]. And then he said, "I don't know ... " And I was, like "You offered it!"We never ended up doing a deal that day and you can hear all the back and forth about it on the pod; it really is pretty funny and he was a great sport. But the story didn't end there. He calls me after the podcast and we end up talking about a different trade. We talk on the phone for like 45 minutes. And we come to an agreement. "Propose it to me on the site," he says. "Done deal."Which I do. And then, later that day ... he rejects it! Insanity! We had a deal. We agreed to it! We get on the phone again, he's very apologetic, said after thinking about it he really didn't like it, tells me I have every right to clown him on the podcast again and ultimately, a few days later, we did, in fact, get a deal done. And you should know that Michael Smith is one of my all-time favorite people at ESPN. Just a great guy, so don't think anything of this other than what I'm writing. Michael will be the first to say he deserves the abuse.But the whole process was so anti- "what I believe in." To me, a deal is a deal. Being replaced in a league without being told and the reneging on an agreed-upon trade happened within a day or two of each other, and I wondered if I was the only one this bothered.I asked the gang that follows me on Twitter (@MatthewBerryTMR) what their biggest fantasy pet peeve was. Over 600 responses in less than a hour, and they continued to flood in all night. Most responses I've ever gotten to a question I posed on Twitter.I am not alone. People have lost all decorum. It was clear to me from reading these tweets that people have no idea how to act in fantasy leagues anymore. It's fantasy chaos out there. It's like we're monkeys playing with feces in one hand and a computer mouse in the other.So here, now, is the definitive word on fantasy etiquette. Learn it, live it, love it.The 10 Fantasy Commandments1. Thou shalt not veto. If there is obvious collusion between two owners, then the commissioner (or league via veto) should not allow it. But other than that? Let it go. People should be allowed to coach their team and trade whoever they want, even if you think it's a really stupid rip-off trade. Negotiating a steal of a deal is part of fantasy skill and as long as both parties want to do the deal, you're a punk if you block it. Especially the people who block a trade just because it doesn't involve them or because it's part of their "strategy" to block other teams from improving. That's the coward's way out and you're a scummy, spineless punk if you do that. Win on the virtual field, not in the bureaucracy.2. Thou shalt play out the season. I don't care if you're 0-12. You make waiver claims and set your best possible lineup in Week 13. It matters to the rest of the league. Have fantasy pride. Quitting is for wimps and people with no moral fiber. You made a commitment, stick to it. Too many times I've heard of people in public leagues (it seems to happens less on ESPN than on other sites, thankfully) sign up for the league to practice drafting and then abandon the team. (This is why we offer free mock drafts and auctions). But even more than that, as teams get tough breaks or aren't winning, owners no longer play it out, leaving bye week and injured guy in their lineups and essentially handing their opponents crucial wins.I was forced to do it once (a high-stake baseball league the summer I was going through my separation) and I hated myself for it. Seeing as how I ultimately ended up divorced, I should have found a way to play it out.3. Thou shalt set your lineup every week Nothing is worse than seeing someone starting a lineup with guys on a bye and playing against a competitor you need to lose. Every game matters to everyone else in the league, so I don't care if your honeymoon is right smack in the middle of your season, you can't have a week off. If you know you're not gonna be able to play every week, then don't play at all. The Internet is everywhere. You can set your lineup six days in advance and you can access your ESPN Fantasy team from any mobile phone. If you have to, you can ask a friend or the league commish to set your best possible lineup for you. There is no excuse.4. Thou shalt not talk about your team. No one cares about your team but you. If you meet me in public, sure, tell me, I get paid to listen to you. But other than that? Seriously, no one wants to hear you prattle on.5. Thou shalt respond to trade offers. Dude, it's common courtesy. Just a simple "No thanks" is fine. Just let us know you got it but you're not interested.5a. Thou shalt take no for an answer. A follow up to 5, if the person says no, then don't bombard them with a million other trade offers. One follow-up "Are you interested in talking trade at all?" or "is Player A at all available?" is allowed. But if they still say no, then let it be. Whether it's a girl or a trade, no means no. Period.6. Thou shalt not bid on a player in an auction if you don't know who he is. If I throw out a player and someone says "Oooh, sleeper," you're not allowed to bid if you don't know who he is or why he's a sleeper. Do your own homework. Stop copying off my paper, jerk.7. Thou shalt not abuse the waiver process. Don't continually pick guys up and then drop them, placing them on waivers, thus making them unavailable for two days to the rest of the league. Like I said in the first one. Win on the virtual field, not in the bureaucracy, coward. (For those who play on ESPN, that's not a problem; a player must be owned for 24 hours before he'll be put back out on waivers when dropped.)8. Thou shalt not change the rules midseason. I don't care if it everyone's complaining or it seems unfair in Week 5. You play the rules that were set up at the start of season. Change at the start of next year. Take the job of commissioner seriously. Have a strong constitution at the start of the year and enforce it.9. Thou shalt not say "Championship!" after drafting T.J. Houshmandzadeh. It's an old joke. We've heard it a million times. Let it go. (thanks to @US_LaticFanatic on Twitter for that one).10. Thou shalt act like a normal, civilized human being. This is a catch-all for everything else. Act in fantasy how you would in real life. If you agree to a deal, you go through with it. Unless your word means nothing in real life too. Then you're just a horrible human being. Don't be an Internet tough-guy on e-mails or message boards. Smack talk is fine, but insulting or getting personal and saying things you'd never say to someone to their face? Save it, coward. Especially if you hide behind a fake screen name. Don't kick someone out of a league without telling them. Don't reneg on a bet or league fees you owe because the game or season didn't go the way you wanted. Don't abuse your power as commissioner. Don't offer a crappy trade you would never take if you were on the other side of it. Don't whine, bitch, complain or do anything that takes the fun out of the greatest game ever invented.
Hey Godfather,It's your kicker vs. my QB tonight. May the best man win. I can't believe you started Rodgers over Garrard...what a rookie mistake...could've had 38 points but you just had to settle with 6 points...
Ya'll are actually still paying attention to this shit? All I need to know is where to send my $50.
My money is on Terry Bowden
The man was a great gameday coach.His recruiting left much to be desired.I have some waiver requests outstanding. Bet at your own risk.
ESPN fantasy football picks you, which makes me feel good about my chances.
Jeez...I'm getting my head kicked in.Surely Vick and Maclin can combine for 66 points. Right?
So far your combo has 70. Vick has 56. Congrats are in order....he may carry you to the championship. Unbelievable offensive play by the eagles tonight!
i know my team teh suxxor. updates...is it playoffs? i don't remember my password.
RB1 = 0 PointsRB/WR = 1 PointWR1 = 0 PointsWR2 = 1 PointsTE = 2 PointsThat, my friends, is how you lose in the first round of the playoffs to a Bammer.I would like to personally thank my team for waiting until this time to fail. Always the players...never the coach. Thought I saw some points on the bench that would have won.
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