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Kaos' way behind movie reviews
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Kaos
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
6 Underground

Deadpool out of costume leading a crew of forgotten (aka dead to the world, aka underground) against a global menace.  It's a Netflix film with Ryan Reynolds in the lead and a cast that includes the hot Frenchish girl from Now You See Me, the fake Dr. Dre from Straight Outta Compton and Dave Franco among others.

Bay knows how to make a movie where things blow up constantly and in creative ways.  This movie could be Transformers in the flesh given the amount of carnage and destruction on the screen.  The film opens with an extended, violent, blood-soaked, speaker-rattling, explosion-filled chase scene through the streets of Italy.  The scene introduces us to the characters in the movie.  And it takes 18 minutes.  The first 18 minutes of the film are taken up by a single concussive chase sequence.  It's Michael Bay.  Boom. 

Here's the kicker. It was a fun chase scene.  Well shot, lots of insanity going on (including the line "she's squirting!") and people being slaughtered in clever ways.  It layered humor on top of the carnage, which is a Bay trademark. 

There are people who don't enjoy the bombast of a Michael Bay film.  I'm not one of them.  It's not great cinema, it's not going to win any awards or bring about change in society. It doesn't have any ulterior motives.  Things blow up, the "good guys" unleash flame-filled hell on the bad folks, chaos ensues.  It's almost as if Bay (and the cast) are winking at the camera going "I know this isn't Gone With the Wind, but just watch this guy's teeth explode from his mouth!  Cool, right?  fudge yeah!" 

Letting Reynolds essentially play deadpan Deadpool without the outfit was a good choice. There were enough inside jokes, outside jibes and wisecracks to keep the movie moving.  Digs at other movies, quotes from Eminem, constant chatter from Reynolds all blended to add levity to a movie where the fate of the world (or at least a country) was at stake.  The rest of the cast was solid.  It looked like they were having fun making this movie and that's a rarity these days. 

I love the fact that Bay's movies don't take themselves seriously.  It's the cinematic equivalent of eating a hot dog and riding a rollercoaster.  I like hot dogs and coasters.  So there. 

So yeah, sue me.  I liked this movie.  I liked it enough to watch it again to see how many of the inside jokes I might have missed. 

PS:  I wish Michael Bay was in charge of the Godzilla/Kong franchise.  
« Last Edit: December 26, 2019, 02:55:24 PM by Kaos »
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
Agreed on all points.  It was a good ride and I'll watch it again to see the same.
"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shootty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."


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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
Always usually enjoy Bays movies. They are what they are which are fun action movies. He gets critiqued a lot for it but much of that I think comes from the media because of other reasons I won’t go into (racial, sexist, you name it - although not actually true). In other words, he’s not woke enough for the Hollywood class. 

I like his stuff. It’s fun. People need to Stfu and enjoy. 
WDE


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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
Peanut Butter Falcon

There are a couple of actors I think are personally flawed but who can rise above their personal issues to turn in some pretty good performances.  Robert Downey, Jr. for one.  Johnny Depp for another (at one time).  Depp's gone off the rails and has completely lost his way at the moment. 

Then there's Shai Lebouf.  He's a nut. He's playing bongos in the nude on top of St. Peter's goofy.  But he's also a pretty good actor when he wants to be.  

He's good in this simple, sweet movie about a drifter to needs his tag along Down's Syndrome buddy more than he realizes.  

Lebouf plays a fisher/boat guy who is emotionally adrift and occupationally stunted after the death of a brother he worshiped. After a rash decision puts him on the run, he encounters a guy with Down's who's escaped a nursing home and is on a quest to find meaning for his life.  The two team up and take off together like a wacky version of Tom and Huck -- running from the guys chasing Lebouf and dodging the kind-hearted caretaker from the nursing home (Dakota Johnson).  

Oh, the events of the movie are fantastical, improbable and unlikely.  The story is a little predictable.  But Lebouf carries it with such effortless charm that it all works.  He's great with his traveling partner and he's really good with Johnson, too. Toss in a part for Thomas Hayden Church as a washed up wrestler and add in some cameos by Jake the Snake and Mick Foley and it's just a nice, easy movie.  

Even though you're pretty sure how things are going to go, it's still worth watching.  

I enjoyed it.  

Tyler...Tyler...Tyler...Tyler...Tyler...uhhh...Tyler. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
Knives Out

Throwback movie and one I really enjoyed.  Like all movies it has flaws, but it was fun to watch the cast enjoying themselves and hamming it up --- each of them CLEARLY hamming and having a good time playing off each other. 

What a good cast, too.  Jamie Lee Curtis (looking old), Don Johnson (still looking good), Toni Collette, Christopher Plummer, Chris Evans, Michael Shannon, M. Emmett Walsh (who I thought died YEARS ago), Jaeden Martel (young Bill from IT), Daniel Craig and last but definitely not least, the delectable, delicious Ana de Armas. 

There were no explosions. No scenes of anybody running from a fireball in slow motion. No real car chases.  The drama was over the top and very personal and intimate. 

Basic storyline:  Crazy rich family patriarch commits suicide.  Or does he?  Investigator Daniel Craig (putting on a here and gone 'southern' accent) is hired to get to the bottom of his death as his family and friends squabble over their respective inheritances.  The film plays out in a series of flashbacks as Craig slowly pieces together the true story of what happened to the dearly departed and which (if any) of his family had a hand in his demise. 

Some of it's predictable. Has to be, because of the sadly low relative intelligence of today's moviegoer.  But there are enough twists and turns to keep the story moving and keep the audience from ever having a complete grasp on how things are going to end up. 

Evans is good in his role as is Johnson.  It's enjoyable enough to watch the pampered family fall apart at the seams as all of their pathetic secrets are gradually exposed. 

This was a movie from another time.  It reminded me of one of the big-cast type movies they made back in the 60s. My old ass enjoyed it. 
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
(Sympathy for the) Joker

I held off reviewing this movie because I wanted to see it a second time through.  Glad I did.

My first impression was that the movie was beautifully shot.  It’s not a masterpiece but it does a credible job of providing a completely revised but perfectly viable and reasonable origin story for two of the greatest characters in comic history.  Joaquin Phoenix was really good but I’m not convinced he wasn’t just being himself. The tone and color was immersive. As a lifelong Batman fan and someone who knows entirely too much about the Dark Knight/Clown Prince mythology I was mesmerized at first by the final act. 

But then....I watched it again.  

Freed from the constraints of not knowing how it all played out, I was able to see the film for what it really is.  This movie is a Bernie Sanders wet dream.  It's what Elizabeth Warren and AOC scissor to.  

Masked citizens take to the streets, chant profanities at the wealthy elite, attack the police with impunity. They're energized by a downtrodden man who's had enough of being taken advantage of and who inspires them by a random act of murderous mayhem.  

I know the Joker.  I know him just as well as Bruce Wayne.  The Joker is not some fed up guy in makeup moved to action by twisted mommy issues and a hatred for the rich folks who have the nice things he wishes he had.  

The Joker is a straight psychopath.  He doesn't hate the elite, he wants to BE the elite.  He's not motivated by sorrow or anguished rage. He's motivated by greed, pride, lust and the lunatic voices in his head.  

Turning Joker into the defacto head of Antifa is pathetic.  

But this is what Hollywood is.  It's what it has been for years.  When they can't win the war against conservatism, pragmatism, capitalism and patriotism directly by beating us over the head with it, they revert to subtlety like this.  It's hard to watch this movie and not feel bad for sad sack Arthur Fleck and his downtrodden life.  

I know The Joker. The last thing that insane motherfudgeer would want is your sympathy. 
« Last Edit: January 18, 2020, 12:19:53 AM by Kaos »
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

#NotMyAriel


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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
I’ve been holding off watching Joker, because, like you, I’ve been a Batman fan my whole life. And I don’t think the Joker needs an origin story, even though I really enjoyed Killing Joke (the comic, haven’t seen the movie). Quite frankly, I don’t believe the Joker knows his own origin, since he’s insane. That’s why I believe it changes in the comic. Is Killing Joke his origin? Could be, depending on Joker’s mood at the time. 

I supposed I’ll eventually watch it, though. 


Kaos
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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
I’ve been holding off watching Joker, because, like you, I’ve been a Batman fan my whole life. And I don’t think the Joker needs an origin story, even though I really enjoyed Killing Joke (the comic, haven’t seen the movie). Quite frankly, I don’t believe the Joker knows his own origin, since he’s insane. That’s why I believe it changes in the comic. Is Killing Joke his origin? Could be, depending on Joker’s mood at the time.

I supposed I’ll eventually watch it, though.

Killing Joke is a very good graphic novel.  Somewhere around here I've got an original printing from the 90s.  That was when I was still hitting the comic stores occasionally looking for treasure.  

Best things I have (although not necessarily the most valuable)?  A set of Kamandi in really good shape.  Pristine copy of Batman 400.  A VG Batman comic from about 1960. Entire first year of The Dark Knight series (including variant covers).  But I'm getting off track.  

I've heard many people say this version of the Joker origin was based on that novel. But it wasn't.  It took a tiny piece of it -- pre-lunatic joker was a failed comedian -- and layered all the Bernie Sanders/AOC socialist, rise up against the evil rich people nonsense on top of it.  

If you remember Killing Joke, the guy who became Joker had a decent job and a family.   He QUITS his job to pursue the dream of becoming a comedian.  He fails spectacularly and in an effort to survive agrees to help some thugs rob the place where he used to work.  While he's setting that up, his wife and child are killed in an accident.  He wants to grieve, but the thieves force him to continue his role in their caper.  The robbery goes awry, the dude gets disfigured and the combination of that and the loss of his family pushes him over the edge into insanity. 

This movie?   ENTIRELY different.  

The insanity is already there, but the evil rich people don't let him have access to satisfactory treatment.  (Free healthcare!!).  The rich people don't care about the plight of the poor! (Every Bernie/Elizabeth/AOC/Islamihan rally ever).  The only solution is to wear masks and rise up against the 1%!  Take their shoot by any means necessary.  Riot! Attack the rich people!  Attack the police.  (Antifa). 

The first time I watched it I was too busy following the story to really grasp all the underlying socialist bullshoot it's filled with.  The second time, it overwhelmed me.  I saw it for what it really, truly is.  

Every Batman film or story I've ever seen has portrayed Thomas Wayne as a decent, honorable, philanthropic man of integrity.  This movie?  He's a bullying, narcissistic, snobbish, brutish asshole.  That's not the Gotham we want or need.  It's not the reality (I know it's not real, but still...).  It's a twisted perversion of the mythology.  How long before it's spun around so that Batman's the bad guy? 

It's not a superhero/super-villain movie.  It's nothing but socialist propaganda.  

But don't listen to me.  Watch it for yourself and see what you see.  
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

#NotMyAriel


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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
(Sympathy for the) Joker

I held off reviewing this movie because I wanted to see it a second time through.  Glad I did.

My first impression was that the movie was beautifully shot.  It’s not a masterpiece but it does a credible job of providing a completely revised but perfectly viable and reasonable origin story for two of the greatest characters in comic history.  Joaquin Phoenix was really good but I’m not convinced he wasn’t just being himself. The tone and color was immersive. As a lifelong Batman fan and someone who knows entirely too much about the Dark Knight/Clown Prince mythology I was mesmerized at first by the final act. 

But then....I watched it again. 

Freed from the constraints of not knowing how it all played out, I was able to see the film for what it really is.  This movie is a Bernie Sanders wet dream.  It's what Elizabeth Warren and AOC scissor to. 

Masked citizens take to the streets, chant profanities at the wealthy elite, attack the police with impunity. They're energized by a downtrodden man who's had enough of being taken advantage of and who inspires them by a random act of murderous mayhem

I know the Joker.  I know him just as well as Bruce Wayne.  The Joker is not some fed up guy in makeup moved to action by twisted mommy issues and a hatred for the rich folks who have the nice things he wishes he had. 

The Joker is a straight psychopath.  He doesn't hate the elite, he wants to BE the elite.  He's not motivated by sorrow or anguished rage. He's motivated by greed, pride, lust and the lunatic voices in his head. 

Turning Joker into the defacto head of Antifa is pathetic. 

But this is what Hollywood is.  It's what it has been for years.  When they can't win the war against conservatism, pragmatism, capitalism and patriotism directly by beating us over the head with it, they revert to subtlety like this.  It's hard to watch this movie and not feel bad for sad sack Arthur Fleck and his downtrodden life. 

I know The Joker. The last thing that insane motherfudgeer would want is your sympathy.
Well shoot!
Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan


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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
Gretel and Hansel

Bizarre, dark RIDICULOUS take on the Hansel and Gretel fairy tale.  

Plagued by mumbled dialogue, terrible acting, a dreadfully slow pace and incoherent themes this attempt at horror fell flatter than a pancake.  

It tried to swirl some dark background into the familiar Hansel and Gretel story by adding a desolate and cursed medieval era town, zombies (maybe ?), a mentally unhinged mother, a predatory and prissy pedophile, a subtle anti-Trump slam, and some random gore.  None of it worked.  Zero percent.  

In the Grimm Fairy Tale, the two kids are lured into the clutches of a hungry witch by an array of tasty cakes and candies.  She then proceeds to fatten them up with the intent of dining on them later.  

Here?  Deranged and despairing mom throws the two on the street after Gretel declines the sleazy advances of a potential employer.  

Off they go.  Along the way they're saved from a zombie I guess. No explanation was really given for his appearance or behavior.  Nor was any background or exposition given for the deus ex machina hunter who appeared out of nowhere to save them and make grave pronouncements about this, that or the other.  And then disappeared. 

In the fairy tale (or at least the version my grandmother told and the one I told my own kids), the witch's house is tempting because it's literally made of food. Gingerbread and gumdrops. Frosting on the eaves. Lollipop flowers and window panes made of sugar glass. The witch is young and attractive, pleasant to be around and fun.  

Here?  The house is a dark and dank piece of modern art jammed smack in the middle of a dreary forest.  The witch is a withered and creepy crone.  She's exactly the sort of thing that would make kids lost in the forest run like hell. 

And then she tries to entice Gretel to learn the ways of the force. For reasons unknown she takes the youngster under her wing and tries to lead her on the path to magical powers and cannibalism.  It doesn't make any sense. 

It's garbage. 

The movie stars the young version of Bev from the It franchise as Gretel.   She's abysmal here.  Just awful.  Granted, she's given little to do but stare at things and babble nonsensical dialogue.  But here here and gone accent (british?) is distracting as is her goggle-eyed glare.  The girl was hard to look at.  She could not carry this turkey. She should fire her agent for getting her cast in this turd.  I don't know who Hansel was, but I didn't care about him either.  

The witch was fine, but poorly suited to this garbled tale.  

I'll stick to my version.  This one can suck it.  I knew it was going to suck medieval zombie balls when they made the pig noise at each other.  Just another abandoned worthless interjection.  



If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

#NotMyAriel


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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
Image result for Bugs Bunny Hansel and Gretel images
Boy, giraffes are selfish.  Just running around, looking out for #1....getting hit by lightning.....


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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

#NotMyAriel


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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
Aim for 3 when you need 17
Aim for 20 when you need 2
The Gus way. -GH2001


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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
Midway
First in a short series of Movies on a Plane. 

Historically significant story of how America's military strategists turned the tide of the war in the Pacific and opened the door to winning World War II.  It's one of the most important battles in this nation's history.  It's a battle had America not had the courage and insight to win?  We might all be speaking a different language today.  

If you want to see this story done right?  Watch Midway from 1976 with Charlton Heston, Robert Wagner, James Colburn, Glenn Ford, Robert Mitchum, Cliff Robertson and more.  

If you want to see battle scenes shoot upon by atrocious casting choices, bad acting and asinine side stories?  Watch this.  All I should have to tell you to completely explain the failure here?  A Jonas with a moustache is one of the "heroes."  

Epic failure.  

Doubled down on its shoottiness by praising the "brave Japanese soldiers who lost their lives" at the end. Man, fudge that.  They were the enemy.   

Go back and read how those "brave" Japanese treated American POWs during the war.  

Too bad this movie is so disastrously awful.  The story needs to be told for a fresh audience, but just not in this haphazard, slipshod way.  
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Terminator: Dark Fate
Second in a short series of Movies on a Plane

The Terminator was a great movie for its time.  It was visually stunning, brutal and vastly different from anything we'd seen before.  

Dark Fate was a recycled femi-power movie that tried to gin up nostalgia for the original by tossing in a few twists on some old catch phrases. bleh. 

It dredged up a Linda Hamilton, looking worse for wear, and hauled back Arnold as a kinder, gentler version of the T-1000.  Which T this Arnold was and from which movie he originated, I can't really say.  

Then it layered on the twisted time travel, butterfly effect, new future, old future, past present wonkiness that never made sense even from the beginning.  In the original you could forgive the goof science just because the story was compelling.  

Here?  Just a bunch of furious fighting noise.  

There probably was a time for this movie, but it wasn't now.  Too late or too early, I dunno.  It just didn't work.  

If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

#NotMyAriel


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The Gentlemen

Don't trust the trailer. This one was nowhere near what I expected, which was much more of a straight up comedy.  It had it's moments but leaned far more toward the dry, witty English humor.  Really disappointed about half way through, but when I came to accept what it was, I actually got into it the rest of the way.  Let me just say, if you know what to expect going in, it's not a bad watch.

Not giving anything away because they pretty much let you know early on that the plot is as follows:

Matthew McConaughey plays a kingpin drug dealer in Europe, focusing only on marijuana.  Charlie Hunnam is his right hand man and much of the movie centers around a meeting between he and Hugh Grant, who plays a private eye/journalist trying to blackmail Macunnahay and Hunnam.  The meeting between the two, has Grant laying everything out for Hunnam as to what has happened and why they should pay him off.  His story telling is actually a narration of the movie itself.

Makoneehee has 12 growing stations and is trying to sell and get out of the business.  There is an attack on one of them and he spends most of the flick trying to figure out who is behind it and why.  From there, you have a good bit of twists and turns and whodunnit. It's a decent mix if action, intrigue and some comedy.  Like I said, if you know what to expect going in, it's not too bad.       
Boy, giraffes are selfish.  Just running around, looking out for #1....getting hit by lightning.....


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Zombieland: Double Tap
Third in a short series of Movies on a Plane

I didn't have really high expectations for this movie.  The first one was so close to being that perfect mix that it would have been nearly impossible to recreate that chemistry.  The original was fun and surprising.  Did you see the double cross coming in the grocery store when the girls swiped the car?  Did you anticipate Bill Murray's entry and arc?  

There was no way this movie could live up to that standard.  And it didn't.  

It wasn't bad. It had its moments.  But it just didn't rise to the level of the original.  

It was more benign.  

The addition of one of those insufferable Wilson brothers and Richard from Silicon Valley as Tallahassee/Columbus doppelgangers didn't elevate the script like I think they expected it to.  The bubble-head girl and beatnick guy (who was on Victorious if you had girls in the 90s, you'll know him) really didn't add the punch I assume they were supposed to provide.  

If I'd never seen Zombieland I probably would have liked this better.  Zombieland was a tasty pizza filled with great ingredients and properly baked.  This was more like a cone of cotton candy.  It was good, but sort of forgettable.  

Didn't hate it.  Didn't love it.  Pretty much forgotten it.  I can tell you much more about the original than I can about this one.  It just didn't stick with me.  
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
Zombieland: Double Tap
Third in a short series of Movies on a Plane

I didn't have really high expectations for this movie.  The first one was so close to being that perfect mix that it would have been nearly impossible to recreate that chemistry.  The original was fun and surprising.  Did you see the double cross coming in the grocery store when the girls swiped the car?  Did you anticipate Bill Murray's entry and arc? 

There was no way this movie could live up to that standard.  And it didn't. 

It wasn't bad. It had its moments.  But it just didn't rise to the level of the original. 

It was more benign. 

The addition of one of those insufferable Wilson brothers and Richard from Silicon Valley as Tallahassee/Columbus doppelgangers didn't elevate the script like I think they expected it to.  The bubble-head girl and beatnick guy (who was on Victorious if you had girls in the 90s, you'll know him) really didn't add the punch I assume they were supposed to provide. 

If I'd never seen Zombieland I probably would have liked this better.  Zombieland was a tasty pizza filled with great ingredients and properly baked.  This was more like a cone of cotton candy.  It was good, but sort of forgettable. 

Didn't hate it.  Didn't love it.  Pretty much forgotten it.  I can tell you much more about the original than I can about this one.  It just didn't stick with me. 


I look forward to your review of Zombieland 2.  


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I look forward to your review of Zombieland 2. 
Which one is that?


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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
Boy, giraffes are selfish.  Just running around, looking out for #1....getting hit by lightning.....