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Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
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Kaos
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Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
https://www.foxnews.com/health/lethal-rabbit-virus-discovered-in-california-for-first-time

Based on the latest data, rabbits are required to remain in their burrows except to perform essential duties. Clover gathering is discouraged unless absolutely necessary.  Garden foraging can only be performed as a stake-side activity.  No entry into the actual garden is permitted. Hay fields remain open, but are limited to five bunnies per acre. 

Peter Cottontail is prohibited from hopping and the Bunny Trail is closed until further notice.  

The Easter Bunny's annual global trip is currently postponed.  Hopes are that a flattened cure, or curve or something can be discovered prior to next Easter but Dr. Elmer Fudd warns that this virus may be with us for a vewy vewy wong time.  "Miwwions could die," Fudd said. 

All bunnies are required to wear little bunny facemasks at all times.  Bunnies seen in public without a mask will be fricaseed. 

Gatherings of more than six bunnies should immediately be reported to the WHO (World Hopping Organization).  

Bugs Bunny is working on a benefit "stay burrowed" performance which will be live-streamed to every hutch and hovel across the globe.  In the meantime, he says "we are all in this together, doc. Flatten the cure! Stay at home. Wash your paws. Practice distancing. Be safe. Be healthy. Stronger together."  He added about 18 other platitudes while not wearing a mask, standing two feet away from both Daffy (suffering from Bird Flu) and Porky (dealing with Swine Flu) and drinking unpasteurized carrot juice from a rusty can.  

If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

#NotMyAriel

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The Six
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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
This post deserves more action. It's some of the best satire you've written on here in a long while. Bravo.
"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg


Buzz Killington
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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
It's COVID Season!
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.


Snaggletiger
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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
This post deserves more action. It's some of the best satire you've written on here in a long while. Bravo.
Satire?
Boy, giraffes are selfish.  Just running around, looking out for #1....getting hit by lightning.....


AUJarhead
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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place


Snaggletiger
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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
Boy, giraffes are selfish.  Just running around, looking out for #1....getting hit by lightning.....


Buzz Killington
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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.


Kaos
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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place


Kill the Covid
Kill the Covid
Kill the Cooooovid
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

#NotMyAriel


The Six
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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
Dr. F now saying we are doing or have done "irreparable harm" to the economy by staying at home.

Which is it, dude? Pick a lane!
"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg


GH2001
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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
Dr. F now saying we are doing or have done "irreparable harm" to the economy by staying at home.

Which is it, dude? Pick a lane!
You just now noticing this? It’s been happening since well - for a good while.
WDE


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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
You just now noticing this? It’s been happening since well - for a good while.
The latest narrative appears to splinter in a couple of directions.
First, we owe it to our health and our health care workers to kill the virus by staying locked up. If it kills the economy, well, no one liked going to work anyway.

Second, more subtly, we owe it to Mother Earth to not re-pollute it and therefore, we should stay locked up inside until 2022. But when we come out, we can't touch anything or each other. Ever.
"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg


WiregrassTiger
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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
Dr. F now saying we are doing or have done "irreparable harm" to the economy by staying at home.

Which is it, dude? Pick a lane!
I've never heard Fauci say anything other than he was not an expert on the economy. He even went so far as to explain early on that he was only in the pandemic lane.


Obviously these lanes cross but I’d be willing to bet Wes’ right nut that if Trump didn’t think Dr F or Birx were good, he’d say you’re fired. He likes saying that.

Like my posts on www.tigersx.com


bottomfeeder
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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
Confusion is the game.


Kaos
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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
Dr. Fudd recently released the following statement regarding Rabit 20, AKA Carrotavirus. 

"Thewe is no vawid weason for wabbits to howawd any of the fowwowing items:  timothy hay, yogurt dwops, scented witter, salt bwocks or chew sticks.  We do, wecommend, howeveah that aww wabbits wemain at home unwess they don't, in which case they should pwobably stock up heaviwy on essential items such as timothy hay, yogurt dwops, scented witter, salt bwocks and chew sticks.

"Our mowst wecent statwistics indicate that we have fwattened the cure, humped the cuwve, and saved miwwions of wives.  Unwess, wabbits weave their homes, in which case, miwwions will die. 

"Wabbit to wabbit twansmission does not occur, unwess it does.  It cannot be twansmitted by mosquitoes, unwess it can. It will not kiww you unwess it does, and then you won't cawwe anyways.  What we should do is shewter in our hutches unwess we don't, westore the wabbit economy, unwess we don't want to, go to stores, unwess we have things dewivered.  Wear a mask, unwess we don't. 

"I encouwage all wabbits to shame other wabbits for whatever behavior is occuwwing.  Not weawing a mask?  SHAME!!  Weawing a mask?  FOOL!!  Staying home?  IDIOT, you awe kiwwing the economy!  Going out? SENSWESS MOWON!!  You are kiwwing evewybody!!  This is my best suggestion becauwse I actuawwy, know absowutely nothing!

Since I don't know anything, I wiww be weading a wigowous testing pwotocol.  Evewyone must have the vaccine and a chip inserted in theiw wectum, pwoving they have taken the shot!!  My good fwiend, Biww Gates has coincidentawwy been working on just such a pwotocol for two yeaws!  Amazing. 

"Accept it or die."

Dr. Elmer Fudd. 





"

« Last Edit: May 25, 2020, 06:35:58 PM by Kaos »
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

#NotMyAriel


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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
I was fine getting tested with the nasal swab, if need be. But there is no way I’m going this route.
Like my posts on www.tigersx.com


bottomfeeder
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Re: Dr. Fudd orders hutchering in place
Let's replace the "like" button with a "lmao" button.