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Merry Christmas
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CCTAU
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Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to you misfits.

May the next year be full of joy. Some of us have had enough grief to last a lifetime. 

War Damn Eagle.
Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

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Snaggletiger
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Re: Merry Christmas
War Damn Christmas.  Hope everyone has a great holiday season and stays safe.
Boy, giraffes are selfish.  Just running around, looking out for #1....getting hit by lightning.....


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Re: Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to you and yours.

And Snags, merry Christmas to your wife.
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Re: Merry Christmas
Merry late Christmas and fudge Georgia.
"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shootty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."


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Re: Merry Christmas
Fun fact.  

This is the first Christmas in memory where no one gave me anything with Auburn on it.  

That saddens me.  Not because I didn’t get a gift but because my apathy is seemingly that apparent. 

I resolve to change that and find the joy again.   
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

#NotMyAriel


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Re: Merry Christmas
Fun fact. 

This is the first Christmas in memory where no one gave me anything with Auburn on it. 

That saddens me.  Not because I didn’t get a gift but because my apathy is seemingly that apparent.

I resolve to change that and find the joy again. 
This is sad, k. 

I have a big black dildo that I wrapped in orange and blue ribbon that I was going to give to Wes. But if it would help with your apathy, I’d much rather you have it.

I like you much more than him, anyway.
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Re: Merry Christmas
Christmas is my favorite holiday, but this was the worst one I've ever lived through.  With 3 teenagers and a 6 year old, there just wasn't much joy.  My youngest amazes me with just how grown up he is.  He told his mother that he wanted to go see Santa but understood that it would hurt her heart too much and make her cry, so he didn't have to go this year.  I can honestly say that I have never been more ready to turn the calendar and more afraid at the same time.  Ready to get 2019 behind us because it has been an absolute nightmare for most of it.  On the other hand, it just means I'm that more separated from the last time I got to see her.  To be 100% transparent, I just don't want to be here anymore.  That sucks because I have other kids that I love with all my heart, but...
"Men are made stronger on the realization that the helping hand they need is at the end of their own arm."

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Re: Merry Christmas
It’s important that you get help. It’s never a shame to get help in this type of situation. You have others(as you stated) that love you and need you also. They lost their sister and probably feel a bit lost themselves. There is no handbook for this. There will never be a plug for that hole. But you can learn to persevere together. I will continue to pray for your healing. Love those you still have and lean on each other. 
Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.


Snaggletiger
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Re: Merry Christmas
CCT nailed it.  If you aren't already, please get the help/counseling you need to deal with it.  Do it for yourself and do it for the rest of your family who need a strong father and husband.  We have some great friends down here who lost their daughter years ago in a car wreck.  What I see in them is that they make every effort to keep her memory alive and well and have become an inspiration to so many who have lost children by being there to talk and counsel with them about dealing with that loss. 

I know this is still very new and fresh and I personally have no clue what you and your family must be going through.  Ironic that last night, I heard an interview with a guy who had been dealing with his own demons for years until he realized that the definition of being strong was not handling those problems on his own.  Being strong was having the courage to reach out and get the help he needed.

 
Boy, giraffes are selfish.  Just running around, looking out for #1....getting hit by lightning.....


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Re: Merry Christmas
Christmas is my favorite holiday, but this was the worst one I've ever lived through.  With 3 teenagers and a 6 year old, there just wasn't much joy.  My youngest amazes me with just how grown up he is.  He told his mother that he wanted to go see Santa but understood that it would hurt her heart too much and make her cry, so he didn't have to go this year.  I can honestly say that I have never been more ready to turn the calendar and more afraid at the same time.  Ready to get 2019 behind us because it has been an absolute nightmare for most of it.  On the other hand, it just means I'm that more separated from the last time I got to see her.  To be 100% transparent, I just don't want to be here anymore.  That sucks because I have other kids that I love with all my heart, but...
I can’t completely sympathize.  Nobody can. I also know the last thing you need is empty platitudes and well meaning advice.  But...

I was 26 years old when my first wife died in a car accident.  She was 21.  Her sister who was 16 was also killed that same night in that same wreck.  

I wrestled with it. I fought the demons.  I went to see people. Preachers who enraged me with their bullshoot. Therapists who patronized me and tried to fit me into whatever mental box they’d decided I belonged in based on their surface analysis.  I heard my friends and family tell me I had a reason to live.  I watched them grow annoyed and frustrated when I didn’t recover according to their timelines and expectations.  I listened to people tell me what “she would have wanted” and I thought “fudge them. They have no idea.” 

It’s been more than 25 years.  If I’m honest with you? I’m still not “over it.”   If you ask my heart I still love her. 

I know what you mean when you say you don’t want to be here.  I’ve been there.  Back then I drove a Thunderbird.  One cloudy afternoon after calling my mom and cheerfully telling her I was feeling better I drove that car to the bridge over Mobile bay.  I stood at the edge and stared into the abyss.  I was done. I didn’t think there was anything left for me. She was gone. The insurance company that was supposed to provide had gone under. I was at least three months from being able to work.  I had no money at all.  The hospital had already sued me for the efforts to save her life and was on the verge of filing suit for my extended stay as the medical insurance provider battled with the bankrupt and defunct auto insurance company.  I had nothing. I was nothing.  

I stood there and stared at the water.  I asked God why.  He didn’t answer.  I tried to think of a single reason to get off that bridge and get back in my car.  I couldn’t.  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and in that moment before I decided to fall I heard a word whispered in my head. “Batman” 

Context.  While I recovered from the injuries I sustained in the wreck my brother had been bringing me Batman comics to read. On the day I drove to the bridge, I had just finished the third of a four part series.  I didn’t know how it ended.  I also hadn’t seen the Michael Keaton Batman movie that was coming out.  

As stupid as it sounds I decided I’d wait at least until I knew how the comic story ended before I exited. Then as time went on I found other little hooks to keep me going.  I’ve had a good life since that day.  So many things I would have missed. And as the days passed I got to where I could hear her over my grief. I know she doesn’t want me to hurt. I know she wants me to remember her in a positive and fond way.   I don’t always succeed but I try to live in a way  that honors her. 

I wrote all that just to tell you that I love you. We all do.  Please, brother, find your Batman. Find that one little thing to hold on to that gives you one more day. I won’t lie and say it will be easy.  But all those people in your life need you. 

Also? you need to find out if Gus can pull his head out of his ass! 

War Eagle and God bless!
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

#NotMyAriel


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Re: Merry Christmas
Thank you guys!! I have those reasons to keep going and I know the hurt you put on others by checking out on your own.  I take one step at a time for my kids and my wife but I must be honest and say that Depression is a real thing, not an excuse to feel sorry for yourself (as I once thought).  I didn't intend to make it seem like I'm rusting the end of my barrel or to make this thread depressing.  Just put my feelings about 2019-2020 merger out there.  I spend most of my time trying to do things to keep her memory alive.  We came down to Dothan to visit the Angel of Hope Statue on the 6th.  Found out we have one here in Gadsden.  Long story, short for that is that I have been asked to takeover the statue here.  Along with that, we are doing our 1st annual Rozzy Run 10k/5k/1mile fun run on Feb 1st.  We did a toy drive for Children's of Alabama Hospital and donated with toys and the monetary donation we were able to give from The Rozzy Foundation, $5300.  We are doing anything and everything we can to make Childhood Cancer known to anyone and everyone.  As a matter of fact, aTeam Ministries in Birmingham, helps families by providing a place to stay free of charge when a family has to stay in the area a while.  We were able to stay at one of their apartments for a month.  Daniel Carlson is a big supporter of theirs.  When all the NFL players decorated their cleats for whatever charity they were supporting, he did his with the aTeam logo.  One day I hope we can make Gold in September bigger than pink in October. 
"Men are made stronger on the realization that the helping hand they need is at the end of their own arm."

                -Sidney Phillips


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Re: Merry Christmas
Thank you guys!! I have those reasons to keep going and I know the hurt you put on others by checking out on your own.  I take one step at a time for my kids and my wife but I must be honest and say that Depression is a real thing, not an excuse to feel sorry for yourself (as I once thought).  I didn't intend to make it seem like I'm rusting the end of my barrel or to make this thread depressing.  Just put my feelings about 2019-2020 merger out there.  I spend most of my time trying to do things to keep her memory alive.  We came down to Dothan to visit the Angel of Hope Statue on the 6th.  Found out we have one here in Gadsden.  Long story, short for that is that I have been asked to takeover the statue here.  Along with that, we are doing our 1st annual Rozzy Run 10k/5k/1mile fun run on Feb 1st.  We did a toy drive for Children's of Alabama Hospital and donated with toys and the monetary donation we were able to give from The Rozzy Foundation, $5300.  We are doing anything and everything we can to make Childhood Cancer known to anyone and everyone.  As a matter of fact, aTeam Ministries in Birmingham, helps families by providing a place to stay free of charge when a family has to stay in the area a while.  We were able to stay at one of their apartments for a month.  Daniel Carlson is a big supporter of theirs.  When all the NFL players decorated their cleats for whatever charity they were supporting, he did his with the aTeam logo.  One day I hope we can make Gold in September bigger than pink in October.
It only got depressing when you mentioned running.  

I’ve never understood how anyone could put the word “fun” in conjunction with the word “run.”   Maybe the Khmer Rouge could.  
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

#NotMyAriel


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Re: Merry Christmas
Thank you guys!! I have those reasons to keep going and I know the hurt you put on others by checking out on your own.  I take one step at a time for my kids and my wife but I must be honest and say that Depression is a real thing, not an excuse to feel sorry for yourself (as I once thought).  I didn't intend to make it seem like I'm rusting the end of my barrel or to make this thread depressing.  Just put my feelings about 2019-2020 merger out there.  I spend most of my time trying to do things to keep her memory alive.  We came down to Dothan to visit the Angel of Hope Statue on the 6th.  Found out we have one here in Gadsden.  Long story, short for that is that I have been asked to takeover the statue here.  Along with that, we are doing our 1st annual Rozzy Run 10k/5k/1mile fun run on Feb 1st.  We did a toy drive for Children's of Alabama Hospital and donated with toys and the monetary donation we were able to give from The Rozzy Foundation, $5300.  We are doing anything and everything we can to make Childhood Cancer known to anyone and everyone.  As a matter of fact, aTeam Ministries in Birmingham, helps families by providing a place to stay free of charge when a family has to stay in the area a while.  We were able to stay at one of their apartments for a month.  Daniel Carlson is a big supporter of theirs.  When all the NFL players decorated their cleats for whatever charity they were supporting, he did his with the aTeam logo.  One day I hope we can make Gold in September bigger than pink in October.
Not to mention that as faith-filled as you are ending oneself means you wouldn't ever get to see her again.  Keep up the good worker my brother, I cannot comprehend your pain, only to say trust in the Lord and your family.  Love those around you even more.  Roz is watching down on us all.
Aim for 3 when you need 17
Aim for 20 when you need 2
The Gus way. -GH2001


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Re: Merry Christmas
Thank you guys!! I have those reasons to keep going and I know the hurt you put on others by checking out on your own.  I take one step at a time for my kids and my wife but I must be honest and say that Depression is a real thing, not an excuse to feel sorry for yourself (as I once thought).  I didn't intend to make it seem like I'm rusting the end of my barrel or to make this thread depressing.  Just put my feelings about 2019-2020 merger out there.  I spend most of my time trying to do things to keep her memory alive.  We came down to Dothan to visit the Angel of Hope Statue on the 6th.  Found out we have one here in Gadsden.  Long story, short for that is that I have been asked to takeover the statue here.  Along with that, we are doing our 1st annual Rozzy Run 10k/5k/1mile fun run on Feb 1st.  We did a toy drive for Children's of Alabama Hospital and donated with toys and the monetary donation we were able to give from The Rozzy Foundation, $5300.  We are doing anything and everything we can to make Childhood Cancer known to anyone and everyone.  As a matter of fact, aTeam Ministries in Birmingham, helps families by providing a place to stay free of charge when a family has to stay in the area a while.  We were able to stay at one of their apartments for a month.  Daniel Carlson is a big supporter of theirs.  When all the NFL players decorated their cleats for whatever charity they were supporting, he did his with the aTeam logo.  One day I hope we can make Gold in September bigger than pink in October.
Oh I see.  You come to Dothan and don't hit a brother up.   


Fine!!!  I didn't want to see you guys anyway.  Turns out I was really busy on the 6th. (What month was that?)  Yeah, I couldn't have broken away even if you called and begged me.  Because I had a lot of stuff going on.  A lot!  More than a little.  Sooooo........I wasn't available anyway. 




Of course, I could have done lunch. Man's gotta' eat ya' know.
Boy, giraffes are selfish.  Just running around, looking out for #1....getting hit by lightning.....


bgreene
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Re: Merry Christmas
Oh I see.  You come to Dothan and don't hit a brother up.   


Fine!!!  I didn't want to see you guys anyway.  Turns out I was really busy on the 6th. (What month was that?)  Yeah, I couldn't have broken away even if you called and begged me.  Because I had a lot of stuff going on.  A lot!  More than a little.  Sooooo........I wasn't available anyway. 




Of course, I could have done lunch. Man's gotta' eat ya' know.
Really wanted to give you a shout but we got there just in time to hit the candle light vigil and then left the next morning. It was all a last minute trip and I told the wife I thought about calling you but we didn't want to hit you up last minute like that, it would have been rude. I was introduced to the Mayor of Dothan and mentioned your name.
"Men are made stronger on the realization that the helping hand they need is at the end of their own arm."

                -Sidney Phillips


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Re: Merry Christmas
Really wanted to give you a shout but we got there just in time to hit the candle light vigil and then left the next morning. It was all a last minute trip and I told the wife I thought about calling you but we didn't want to hit you up last minute like that, it would have been rude. I was introduced to the Mayor of Dothan and mentioned your name.
Me and Mark are tight.  Go way back.  Mention my name and throw in $2.71 and you can get yourself a good cup of coffee just about anywhere in Dothan....for only....$2.71.

I'm kind of a big deal down here.
Boy, giraffes are selfish.  Just running around, looking out for #1....getting hit by lightning.....


CCTAU
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Re: Merry Christmas
Other than Snags self grandiosity, we really need that LIKE button fixed.

I would like to think God spoke to Kaos in the only way he’d listen...Batman. 
Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.


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Re: Merry Christmas
Other than Snags self grandiosity, we really need that LIKE button fixed.

I would like to think God spoke to Kaos in the only way he’d listen...Batman.
You should always be yourself.  Unless you could be Batman.  Then definitely be Batman.
Boy, giraffes are selfish.  Just running around, looking out for #1....getting hit by lightning.....


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It only got depressing when you mentioned running. 

I’ve never understood how anyone could put the word “fun” in conjunction with the word “run.”  Maybe the Khmer Rouge could. 
I get that but they are great at fund raising, bringing communities and causes together - and believe it or not, I've seen some extremely emotional moments at these events. Think of them as a conduit or symbol for something much bigger in cases like this one. Not all of them are like that, but many are. 

Ben - I can't say anything K, Snags or CCT haven't already said. Its a rough spot you are in. I can't imagine. I have a little girl, and while you were going through all of that this year, I would just think to myself - what If something happened to mine like that? Im not sure I could handle it. I think you have handled it with great strength brother. K is right though. As much of a misfit board this has been through the years, there is also a special kind of brotherhood here as well. Ive seen it off the board numerous times and this one is no exception. We are always here if you need to chat. You know this. 
WDE


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Really wanted to give you a shout but we got there just in time to hit the candle light vigil and then left the next morning. It was all a last minute trip and I told the wife I thought about calling you but we didn't want to hit you up last minute like that, it would have been rude. I was introduced to the Mayor of Dothan and mentioned your name.

Just fyi - ole boy LOVES the Chow King. Take him to the chow king and he will love you forever. 
WDE